This poem has been around for some time, but always good to read it this time of the year. Merry Christmas to all Ivan ================================================================ 'Twas the night before Christmas and out in the shed Sat a tired old Maserati, its battery dead. Its fenders were rusted, the floorpan had holes The seats and the carpets had been eaten by voles The tires had dry-rot, the gas tank was leaking A turn of the wheel sent tie rods a-creaking. So I put on my coat with a weight on my heart, And went out to the shed to get it to start. The engine turned over--there arose such a clatter! I knew from the sound it was water pump chatter. From under the dashboard there came a bright flash: The wiring harness had just turned to ash! Ive had it with Maseratis I finally swore Enough is too much! I cant take any more! When what to my red, teary eyes should appear But a little Italian (hell, I need a beer!) Buon giorno, he said, poking me in the belly. You needa my help? Im Giulio Alfieri. This one can be saved; there is no reason to grieve. All you need is some faith--Man, you gotta believe! A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools! When you work on these cars, just make up-a da rules! Well get her cranked over no way that she will stall (But stand over there with you back to the wall.) A cough and a sputter, the cacophony stunning-- I couldnt believe it! The damn thing was running! The ghost winked at me and said, kicking a tire, Whatever you do, DONNA TOUCHA THIS WIRE! The old man then vanished amid sneezes and farts But when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts. So I opened the shed door and let the top down Put pedal to metal and went out on the town. And I thought to myself as I missed second gear Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!
Very good, Ivan. Your own composition? A little too close to home, perhaps. But fun. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and best wishes to all Maseratisti in whatever Saturnalia that you and your loved ones may observe.
True story... My 5 year old (at that time) asked me the words for that "song" we'd sing loudly when riding in the Maserati. I wrote down for him the only lyrics I could remember. About a day or so later when picking him up from kindergarten, his sweet little old lady teacher (she is a dead-ringer for Mrs. Claus) said that our son had an "interesting poem" to share with the class. Apparently, they were supposed to bring in a favorite poem and have her read it to the class...so he brought this in! She started reading it and started stammering... She of course didn't know the song...and was wondering what antics went on at our home! LOL My wife and I still laugh about this... My Maserati does one-eighty-five I lost my license, now I don't drive I have a limo, ride in the back I lock the doors in case I'm attacked I go to parties, sometimes until four It's hard to leave when you can't find the door
It is the time of the year to reactivate this thread. Have a Merry Christmas! Ivan ============================================================== 'Twas the night before Christmas and out in the shed Sat a tired old Maserati, its battery dead. Its fenders were rusted, the floorpan had holes The seats and the carpets had been eaten by voles The tires had dry-rot, the gas tank was leaking A turn of the wheel sent tie rods a-creaking. So I put on my coat with a weight on my heart, And went out to the shed to get it to start. The engine turned over--there arose such a clatter! I knew from the sound it was water pump chatter. From under the dashboard there came a bright flash: The wiring harness had just turned to ash! Ive had it with Maseratis I finally swore Enough is too much! I cant take any more! When what to my red, teary eyes should appear But a little Italian (hell, I need a beer!) Buon giorno, he said, poking me in the belly. You needa my help? Im Giulio Alfieri. This one can be saved; there is no reason to grieve. All you need is some faith--Man, you gotta believe! A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools! When you work on these cars, just make up-a da rules! Well get her cranked over no way that she will stall (But stand over there with you back to the wall.) A cough and a sputter, the cacophony stunning-- I couldnt believe it! The damn thing was running! The ghost winked at me and said, kicking a tire, Whatever you do, DONNA TOUCHA THIS WIRE! The old man then vanished amid sneezes and farts But when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts. So I opened the shed door and let the top down Put pedal to metal and went out on the town. And I thought to myself as I missed second gear Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!
Ha! Thanks for that Ivan - it's my first time reading it - good one.. with the added bonus of Italiafan's story his son's favorite "poem"! Buon Natale! - Art
This poem has been around for some time, but always good to read it this time of the year. Merry Christmas to all Ivan ================================================================ 'Twas the night before Christmas and out in the shed Sat a tired old Maserati, its battery dead. Its fenders were rusted, the floorpan had holes The seats and the carpets had been eaten by voles The tires had dry-rot, the gas tank was leaking A turn of the wheel sent tie rods a-creaking. So I put on my coat with a weight on my heart, And went out to the shed to get it to start. The engine turned over--there arose such a clatter! I knew from the sound it was water pump chatter. From under the dashboard there came a bright flash: The wiring harness had just turned to ash! Ive had it with Maseratis I finally swore Enough is too much! I cant take any more! When what to my red, teary eyes should appear But a little Italian (hell, I need a beer!) Buon giorno, he said, poking me in the belly. You needa my help? Im Giulio Alfieri. This one can be saved; there is no reason to grieve. All you need is some faith--Man, you gotta believe! A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools! When you work on these cars, just make up-a da rules! Well get her cranked over no way that she will stall (But stand over there with you back to the wall.) A cough and a sputter, the cacophony stunning-- I couldnt believe it! The damn thing was running! The ghost winked at me and said, kicking a tire, Whatever you do, DONNA TOUCHA THIS WIRE! The old man then vanished amid sneezes and farts But when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts. So I opened the shed door and let the top down Put pedal to metal and went out on the town. And I thought to myself as I missed second gear Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!
