Cultural Problem

Hi guys,

I need your help with a cultural difference. I moved to Australia around 8 months ago. Before that lived for over 20 years in Holland. Now I'm seeing a girl over here. It goes pretty well. But now the things is, you see her thinking sometimes that I make a strange or offending comment. Because in Holland we're pretty direct. Here in Australia they're direct, but not as I'm used to in Holland. She also told me, why I'm making sometimes those "right in your face" comments, but I don't mean to offend her by that. Now the thing is, like I said it goes pretty good, she sends my nice txt messages and we speak for long times over the phone. The whole time like can you be here it's cold (aah you know the drill). But now I'm kinda stuck. At this point I don't know what to do, again this comes back that I'm used to someting different in Holland. I asked her for dinner Saturday night, as response "aaah alright". Okay she's pretty sick at the moment (the flu) so I don't put any pressure on here in case it goes wrong thanks to pressure. She asked me yesterday, can you please come over. So I'm going over to her place (again). And you can guess, Saturday I'm also at her place. Can you guys maybe give me some ideas what I can and what I can't do?

Thanks for your help!!!

 

As it has been said, "When in Rome, speak as the Romans do."

It's pretty clear from this, then, that you should go to Rome and speak as the Romans do.

 

How direct is she vs you? Example.

 

Example. That's a good question. Well when she ask me for my opinion I just say what I think. But she expects something else, i.e. a little bit softer said if you know what I mean

 

Usually, I require pictures before giving advice ...but I will be nice this one time.

She takes things emotionally, you take them analytically. So, you need to think about the opinion you are expressing in terms of the emotions it would cause in someone who is emotionally attached to the subject, and that should help you say it in a manner that is less direct. Example...do you like this dress (and you can't stand it)? Don't say you can't stand it. Just think if she's wearing that dress and asking if you like it. It's fishing for a compliment, or at least anything that is not negative towards her. A better response might be, "I hate yellow, but it looks good on you. God you are beautiful!"

So, you said you didn't like it, but you didn't hurt her feelings. Anything she asks you about, assume it's her wearing it or cooking it or whatever...see if that works.

 

Thanks for that!! Well if anybody has more advise, just keep them coming.

For now, thanks already!!!

 

+100

Your game needs to adapt to your surroundings. Either adapt your game to the women down under, or import your women from Holland...