Did you ever......

HAROLD,

WHEN IS SCHOOL BACK IN SESSION FOR YA??

 

You'll make a FINE police officer someday!

 

Sooooo, was that after they beat you up?

 

Lol. Funniest thing I've read this week. Nice Darth.

 

Sooooo,

You got beat up by a bunch of girls? In 8th grade? Really? You are kidding right? You didn't use this as a free opportumity to feel up each one in the melee? Never pass up an opportunity my friend-

Hmmmm, 8 on 1 and a little rough, where do I sign up?

 

Ill be the first to come to my defense that I wasnt BEAT UP...just hit...twice...in the face....

Anyways, the story begins...

Eight grade seems like the time girls hit boys huh? My "incident" happened in the eight grade too, at the local AMC Movie Promenade. Some girls were yelling at eachother over something and my firend Danny and I were watching, and my friend Danny dared me to tell them how tough they looked yelling in their Abercrombie shirts and little purses, its not really that funny or a bone-cutting insult, but I thought id be the funny guy and said it.
So after I told those girls how cool they were, some mexican girl (thats not meant to be racist)came from no where and started yelling at me, naturally I laughed at her.....then she gave me a punch right to the left cheek. I was more surprised than anything, and everyone around me was like "OHHHHHH".

I kind of looked around at everyone jsut to make sure that really just happend, then she told me "HEY WHITE BOY YOU GONNA FIGHT OR WHAT?!". I laughed at her one more time and told her no...so she hit me again, same spot. One of my friends jsut grabbed my arm and told me to go somewhere before I do something bad. Good move, though I couldnt see myself hitting/beating up a girl over ANYTHING.

To sum it up, it was probably one of the most embarassing and surprising moments of my life. And what really sucks, is that that comment I made wasnt really even that funny, the story would of been a lot better if it was a comment that should have got me punched. Oh well.

 

^ That's funny, so blackbird did you end up going with the slow girl to the dance or what. And to whoever remembers my thread, what do you think is worse taking advantage of a slow girl or a fat one? Great stories by the way

 

Twice divorced and remarried again too, huh?

Sunny

 

So...where is the rest of the story about you going out with the hot Mexican chick and her lesbian friends?

 

Once, but that was a while ago. I told my friend about how such and such girl liked him . I got jumped after school. it wasnt much really just a bunch of yelling like "you bastard" so on and so on. Meh

 

That has its drawbacks too when they expect an answer and you've been "listening."

There are two halves to male brain. The bachelor half and the married half. You have to train them to work independently of one another!

I've never been married. Life has its ups and downs and I too have learned to enjoy both.

You're secret is safe between you, us, and the rest of the Internet.

Sunny

 

You owe me a new keyboard!

C.

 

Yet another definition of foreplay added to my book.

Dane

 

Nothing more added to that story. I try to forget that situation, but from what I choose to remember...it looked like she fought "often" to say the least. She got beat with an ugly stick could also be a fitting description.

 

She fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?

Double Bagger!

C.

 

Triple, at the least

 

"... and one for, God forbid, anybody that's lookin' in the window!"

I'm glad I'm not the only one making R911 references.

 

Haha! Love that show!

 

I once tried to cybersex with some girls and now they want to beat me up. Does that count? Here's how it went down, I'm bloodninja.


bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

-------------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something


--------------


bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

 

While those arent YOURS exactly....they are still funny and internet classics!

 

I read through his stuff and laugh my arse off every time. That guy is truly money.

 

Every time I read that it cracks me up.