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Doctor's visit.........................

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by darth550, Jul 26, 2004.

  1. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    58,586
    In front of you
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    BCHC
    ACTUAL NOTES ON MEDICAL CHARTS...

    1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband
    states she was very hot in bed last night.

    2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
    over a year.

    3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the
    third day it disappeared.

    4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
    appears to be depressed.

    5. The patient has been depressed since she began
    seeing me in 1993.

    6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

    7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally
    alert but forgetful.

    8. The patient refused autopsy.

    9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

    11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably
    insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the
    past three days.

    12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    13. She is numb from her toes down.

    14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

    15. The skin was moist and dry.

    16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

    17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

    18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

    19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of
    her life, until she got a divorce.

    20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
    physical therapy.

    21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
    accommodation.

    22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

    23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However,
    he took a job as a stock broker instead.

    25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

    26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt
    we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

    28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

    29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
    abnormalities.

    ____________________________

    DL
     
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  3. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    33,429
    Purgatory
    Full Name:
    Internet Poseur


    :)
     
  4. maranelloman

    maranelloman Guest

    BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
    Tauranga, NZ
    Full Name:
    Pete
    That is a big enough abnormally surely ... hahahahahaha :D :D :D

    Pete
     

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