Ever Dropped Everything You Knew And Started Over?

I'm sort of in the situation now... I work in a job that pays me very well... but i HATE coming to the office everyday


HATE IT

but I stay because like you... the money funds my other intrests...

regardless, I know that in the end if I stay here, I may have a warm wallet, but I'm going to be absolutly miserable...

my solution as of now?

I'm still here... but I've begun searching to move out of this field totally and move on to new and different things... but as a precaution, I'm still sticking here until I have something concrete to move onto...

its better to be miserable for an extra 5-6 months and move onto something concrete than to stop being miserable, but without money... (atleast for the short term)

 

Well I didn't move but I was walking down the path of becoming a Police Officer. In fact I only have 2 classes left to finish. I was even working at the Police Dept in another capacity until I finished school. I changed and got out while I could and ended up at a small printing and packaging company and worked my way from the factory floor into the office and finally their IT guy and have stuck with computers ever since then. I finally came to the conclusion that they call work 'work' for a reason and that unless you have some sort of dream job no one wants to get up every day and go to work. Don't know what advice I could give you Gus but let me know if you need anything. If you are interested in a change of scenery you could always move out here and we can open a liquor store or something (there is an empty lot next to us for sale).

 

Over the past 2 years I've turned my occasionaly profitable Ferrari hoby into a proper business, from 22 to now I've made a decent living in IT, whilst I've always had and always will be interested it stoped being fun a couple of years ago. I now do both part time and have never been happier (its still early days though) I've gone from hating going in to work in the morning to jumping out of bed looking forward to it!

If you can afford to live whilst your making this change go for it even if it all goes breasts skywards at least you'll be able to jump back into the Auto business

 

You are describing "DIVORCE"! After 24 yrs my ex wanted to go back to mommy and daddy. So new house, new friends, stayed in same company but took new job (mistake). Lot poorer, but lawyers were happier. Many new things, very confusing and discouraging for awhile but then there is life after Divorce and someone new in life so life is once again great.

Don't be afraid of Change and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel and not always a freight train. Just keep on going! Better to come to the Pearly Gates and look back on your life and all the things you did and accomplish than to say: "should of, could of, would of" - Just do it and good luck!

 

GREAT READ GUS......

MY STORY IS DIFFERENT,,,,,,,,,


WORKING FOR MY GRANDFATHER AND DAD IN THE MID 70S AND THE CRUSH OF CANAL ST, NYC WAS IN MY BLOOD..

WENT TO COLLEGE, PLAYED PROF HOCKEY FOR 2 YEARS, AND THEN THE ALWAYS FAMOUS WORDS FROM DAD " WHY DONT YOU COME WORK FOR ME"..I SAID YES IN 1982 AND WAS THERE TILL " 97, WHEN DAD GOT RID OF THE BUSINESS ...

I HAVE BEEN IN THE BATTERY BUSINESS FOR 27 YRS, (IM NOW 45) WHILE DUCKING HUGE MONIES FROM CORPERATE ENERGIZER, I STAY HERE IN NJ, SMOKING MY PIPE AND COMING TO WORK IN SHORTS...

ITS A BORING BIZ FOR ME, BUT ITS MINE AND THE RESIDUALS I CANT COMPLAIN ABOUT

MAYBE IN SOME YEARS, ILL GO TEACH AT A COLLEGE OR A BE A COUNSELOR AT A TEEN AGE JUVENILE TYPE SETTING.....

WE WILL SEE....GOOD LUCK GUS AND CARBON...YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE FRIENDS THAT SUPPORT YOU

BRUCE

 

What do you dislike about the automobile business?

I know people always say you have to follow your dreams, find a career you'll love. Who do you know actually loves their job? I have friends that enjoy their work, but everyone of them would move on for more money.

It sounds like your ability to make the same money somewhere else is slim. You want to see how good you have it already, I have an experiment for you. Live for one year on 50% of your present income, which includes moving down in your residence. If after a year of living with half as much, see if it is a lifestyle you could deal with indefinetely. If you can live so cheaply, then you might be able to find a career that you enjoy at an income level you can accept. To believe you will replicate your current lifestyle anywhere else is simply a dream. You were handed a job in an established company. Your distain probably shows in your dealings, and despite that, you are still succeeding.

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. You think you are unhappy now, wait until you have a real boss screaming at you for 1/4 of the pay.

 

I always love changing and new adventures, so obviously I'd say sell the home and move on. Of course, I've never bought a home of my own - and I grew up moving from home-to-home and eventually city-to-city, so I have this aversion to 'stagnation' and don't feel at home anywhere.

You know enough people that if you came up with a business idea you could probably get funding (esp if your dad sells, and has a wad of cash to reinvest). You could go to graduate school and buy yourself some more time and earn another credential... and debt. If you did FL you could work with alumni contacts if you wanted a "job" job - surely you still know ppl in the area.

 

I'll respond a little differently. Stay where you are. It doesn't really matter if you like your job, it give you the power to get what you want out of life. Don't get your EGO from your job. No one has ever died, and put on their tombstone. "I wish I would've spent more time working". My point is no matter how much you love your job, you will always love your freetime more. Get your ego and your enjoyment and your fulfillment from being a great boyfreind, a great son, a great husband, father, mentor, a great person! Not a great employee, see what I mean. Generally speaking, no matter what you do as a job, sooner or later you don't like it anymore. i understand there is a minute amount of people who are lucky enough to love their job forever, but that is a miniscule amount of the general population. Use your job to get a better life for yourself, for your family and spend your quality time with them. Be a great employee, be honest and hardworking, but find pleasure in that in itself, not the actual tasks you are completing.

 

p.s.
There's an old Japanese proverb that goes something like this. "If you have to move 10 feet to be happy, you'll never be happy". To me it means that happiness is found inside, happy content people are usually happy and content whereever they are.......we all know people who are unhappy and unfullfilled wherever they are...........which one do you want to be?

 

Come out to the coast......

we'll get together.........

Have a few laughs..........
Image Unavailable, Please Login

 

adopt me, dave.......i will move

 

Hi Gus.......

I couldn't ever see myself leaving the car business.....but here's my story....FWIW......

20 years ago I was a commercial banker managing a $150MM loan/mortgage portfolio and earning a very good upper middle class salary ($65K in 1986) at the age of 25.........I was moving in a circle of guys at work who were 45-65 and I was coming up the ladder at the big national bank very fast.......VP in 5 years maybe......loved the money and job.....but hated the environment and politics of white collar banking. I was not going to accept another promotion and transfer involving relocation regardless of what they offered.

One day I just woke up and instead of putting on my business suit I put on my ski suit.......loaded up the Corvette.....went to the office, cleaned out my bank accounts and packed it in......no notice......no nothing.....have a nice day guys !! It was best day of skiing I ever had in my life.......I still remember sitting on top of Brewster Mountain at Sunshine Village (7,500' AGL) and a looking out over the Rocky mountains for miles on that crisp, clear, sunny day......the merlot in my wineskin never tasted so good.....maybe it was the freedom, the sense of control, or the risk that I had just ingested......but whatever......

I've never been happier walking away from it all like I did that day......I had it made in one way.......but the challenge and adventure of restarting over awaited.

How I got that banking job is a story that started 4 years earlier when I was offered a position way above my head (IMHO at least) that I nervously accepted, never expecting to stay that long or be that succesful at.......same scenario.........lotsa nerves taking the risky job......but I reasoned that had I walked down a street one day and bumped into someone that I knew who got that job and I thought I was a better person for it than him I would have been pissed off at myself.

Don't be scared of risk.......risk is manageable. Do what you like rather that what you need to and it may work out better than you ever imagined.

 

I wish I had nuts to do that.

 

It seems as though there is just a lack of focus at work here. Yes, moving may broaden your horizons but it could also raise more questions than answer them.

Let's be honest- you've been enjoying employment through your father, making good money and while you hated the position, you might have been too lazy/scared to rock the boat. I'd say that's pretty natural.

But now your hand is getting forced and the idea of "moving away" seems to be the only thing you're holding onto. It's a romantic notion at best, and without a semi-solid idea of what you want to do when you get there you might not be any better off. In an ironic twist, it's the dealership that's moving away from you, not the other way around.

I'd suggest that you take a hard look at what you like to do and what opportunities may be available to make a living doing that (THEN look at locations).

 

gus,

at one point or another in our lives, most of us experience that metamophisis urge for a clean slate start. change is hard on those that are comfortable. change is harder on those caught off guard. change is hardest on those who can't afford the associated risks of change. change is a pretty unnatural act at least for me (for some unknown reasons, the same doesn't apply to my car habit...but that's another issue).

i faced a very similar predicament a couple years ago. i had a well paid and respected senior leadership position in a fairly large trading company with life time job security but i was bored and felt under challenged. it took over four years of agonizing deliberation for me to finally arrived at a decision to leave and started my own company "with fraction of my former capacities". people thought i was crazy but things worked out in the end.

i'm less than distinct at your family status (married w/ children) but as you know, our obligation and financial commitment play a big role in your risk model. to be perfectly honest, i am not sure if i'd have had the risk appetite to make the same decision today but i do know three years ago, there was much greater risk in "doing nothing" than making changes" so no regrets here....my best wish to you.


regards,

 

I did. I had a very promising career. I was making lots of money meeting new people all the time. It was fast paced and demanding. I really learned alot thru my job but i just was't fullfilled. I just had an emptyness inside me that i couldn't reach. i tried all the self help books, diet, exercise and even tried dating different women.
I finally had to come to the conclusion that it was my job that wasn't satisfying me. I mean yeah it made me alot of money and challenged me but it did not fullfill me. So I quite Taco Bell and went to work for Chick Fil A. Them some damn good chicken sandwiches. And I lived happily ever after.

 

Hey the Gus!!! I've been vegging for a couple of years now, and not working. I recently moved from CT to North Carolina, because I dislike the northeast's weather, traffic, roads, and the snooty 10 cent millionaires that are overtaking CT. I did this because I will never have a better time in life to do this, I only have myself to take care of (No wife, no ex-wife, no kids, and no other responsibility). My life is what I make of it right now.
I worked as a warehouse manager, and assistant service manager for a pool company in Bridgeport, CT from June '97 to July '04. I quit that job because it was not going anywhere for me, it was also very stressful working for 5 different bosses who couldn't agree on how they wanted things run. I had enough of being stuck in the middle, and just quit. I quit with enough money in bank to get me by for quite a while, and had my family's real estate business to play around at. So, I played around at real estate (nothing serious, just answering the phones and keeping the door open).
I decided to move south last winter, when it was freaking cold in CT and Spring seemed to take forever to arrive. I don't like the cold, snowy winters of the northeast. I've always liked the Carolinas and decided to go for it. So far, I like it better down here than CT (And I was just up in CT for the holidays!).
Gus, these transitions I've made, were made because I knew I had the resources to make it happen. My mother passed away back in October of '03 and I inherited a nice chunk of change. I also inherited some property which is now leased out for a long time. Before you go making any transitions, check that you've got some resources to fall back on for a while. But don't be afraid to take a chance!!! There are F-Chat brothers all over the world that will help you out (Daniel @ RICAMBI has introduced me to a lot of great NC Tifosi, THANKS DANIEL! ). Hope this helps ya to make a decision, Gus!!!!

 

I am not gonna write an essay like a lot of these guys have, but Gus, You are one of few people that I believe can and will be successful at whatever they do. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, although I still do question how you can stand lamour . Oh wait yeah, you just like his 360... Anyhow, I think you have the brains, and a sharp mind that will lead you to success. I can picture you running your own business. It does not need to be a car business, but it can be if you want. Have you considered starting your own business? Going in the car direction, have you considered maybe creating your own dealership? Whatever it is that you choose to do, just make sure you want to do it, and you like doing it.

 

That's not true, I've been nice to you. There was that time when....wait no that wasn't you. How about when...no not you again. Weren't you the one that....no that was someone else.

 

Hey Gus.
Interesting. First, even if you had a choice, I could see why you’d want to leave the car sales biz. I have read what it is like, and it doesn’t look pleasant, much less glamorous. And right, it has nothing to do with love of cars. Its just business.

Anyway, my advice is do what you want. Sounds corny, but FDR was right. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.

I consider myself a very stable, conservative, non-risk taker.

Yet,

As far as business:

In my early thirties I went back to nite school, got a law degree, took a new job as a very junior atty. Took a HUGE cut in pay. REpaid my dues big time in the new career. Now, less than 10 years later, I have a great job. Not megabucks, but a good lifestyle.

As far as personal life:

Married for what I thought was for life. One day my wife, out of the blue, leaves a Dear John letter and walks out. Must sell the expensive house in best part of LI North Shore and live alone in an apartment. Now, just a short time later, I have my own place, a nice woman, and a great relationship with my kids.

Bottom line. You are smart and will thus always land on your feet. May be bumpy at times, but you’ll get by. Don’t say, “If only I had…”

Good luck
Sam