Feel stupid asking...

Our 296 honks 3x after I turn it off.

Valet thought I did it on purpose to get his attention...I explained to him that it was a quirk and not a feature. He correctly pointed out that its a feature if you want everyone to hear that you have arrived. We are not overt attention seekers even tho the car is.

Suggestions other than becoming more extroverted?

 

Lesson 1. Don't let valets park your cars.

Lesson 2. Repeat Lesson 1.

 

Full honk rather than interior beep? Def not normal, my GTB didn't do this and neither does the GTS. I don't think there is a honking on lock setting, just the single beep. THat would be very annoying every time one parks...
Worth checking with the dealer if there is a secret key handshake like the approach unlock via key.

 

I’m STILL trying to get the car to not lock itself after I walk away, or unlock upon walking up to the car.
Has a mind of its own as it were. Even the salesman tried to change the setting. Didn’t last long.

 

Since the 488 if you leave the car running and walk away with the key it will honk three times.

Did you mistakenly leave the car in Hybrid or ED mode with the engine off but car still "running?"

That is the only way I can think of for the car to honk 3x when "off"

 

Unlock upon walking can be disabled by quick double click on the lock button on the remote. Mine wasn't unlocking (I preferred it to) and the double click is the toggle. Of course not listed in the manual as that would make too much sense.
Not lock itself: isn't that the setting toggle under Settings/Car/Doors&Lock? Or perhaps even the overhead console, vaguely remember something from reading the manual when I was trying to solve the unlock

 

Mine does that when you take the key out with the car running. I guess so you don't forget the car is on, but holy hell is it a loud honk.

 

I've tried this multiple times. It never 'stays' that way.

 

Just don't name the car "Christine!" Then you would have REAL problems.

 

I’m always bothered when the car thinks it’s smarter than I am.