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Ferrari In Forbes

Discussion in 'Ferrari Discussion (not model specific)' started by staceman, Feb 2, 2004.

  1. staceman

    staceman Karting

    Sep 23, 2003
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    SGT
  2. Change "If you can mark up a paint job, that's a pretty good business." to "If you can mark up an enamel badge with a horse on it, that's pretty good business" and you've got Ferrari's business model for the past 50 odd years.
     
  3. rob lay

    rob lay Administrator
    Staff Member Admin Social Subscribed Miami 2018 Owner

    Dec 1, 2000
    50,795
    Southlake, TX
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    Rob Lay
    LOL, very true. Acer doesn't have soul though. :D
     
  4. Who says Acer doesn't have soul? Here's the story of Acer, you read and then tell me if it has soul or not!

    Mr. Xiao Acer created Mathe Acer in 1930 after a rather successful stint at making abacus parts for Sony. He got the idea that one day he would make his own abacus adding machines and sell them under his own name so that wealthy entrants could enter math competitions and hopefully win. Of course, his abacuses (abacii?) were unreliable, and often gave wrong results. On the few occasions that Mr. Acers adding machines gave good results, often more due to the herioc efforts of the great mathematicians that used them than due to the adding machines themselves, the glory and mistique of Mr. Acer's adding machines only increased.

    Soon, everyone wanted an Acerabacus; from the casual wealthy adder who wanted to know how much tax he could get away with not paying to the hardcore math nerd who lived for fast seat-of-your-pants adding power. The only problem was, Acer abacus machines were still pieces of crap, but still garnering good results every now and then.

    Later in the 20th century, the scientific calculator was making large progress as a viable means of computation. Mr. Acer didn't take heed to the new advance in technology, and still continued to produce abacuses for the die hard nerds who needed to touch and feel with their hands, to be a part of the mathematical process by moving the beads that made performing calculations into an organic and living process. These nerds thumbed their noses at the scientific calculators as being cold and sterile. Mr. Acer laughed at the foolish nerds who continued to use his outdated abacus machines will still being rather eager to collect their money. Abacus beads would fall off at inopportune times, the rods would break, and of course the Acer abacus dealers would charge exorbitant prices for what were nothing but pieces of wood glued together in a dusty Taiwanese factory. And so the tale of Mr. Acer's abacus machines continued on for serveral years.

    Mr. Acer was approached by Drof Calculators to sell his business to them, but he refused. Drof Calculators then went on a war, determined to defeat Mr. Acer's scientific calculators (he had finally adopted them) at the next "24 Hours of Math" where contestants ccranked out immensley difficult math problems over the period of 24 hours and the winner was the one who finished the most problems correctly during that period of time. It goes without saying that Acer's calculators had their keypads blown off, Drof Calculators finished 200 more problems than the Acer calculators, and Drof Calculators continued trouncing Acer Abacus calculators for the next 5 years. Acer Abacus would never again win the 24 Hours of Math overall, however in recent years they have done well in the "Arithmetic" and "Basic Counting" categories, leaving the "Advanced Differential Equations" categories to rivals such as Borsha Scientific Instrumentation, another storied calculator firm and newcomers Howdy Instrumentation.

    Down in the dumps, Mr. Acer sold the regular calculator division to Beet Calculators, another Taiwanese firm who allowed Mr. Acer to continue running his graphing calculator business, which competed in the Grand Prix de Mathematique races which Ferrari gave extra effort in after being humiliated at the 24 Heure de Math, while Beet Calculators took over the lowly scientific calculator division, producing products that Taiwanese youngsters grew to love, while being ridiculed elsewhere as the worst crap calculators to every exist.

    Mr. Acer's advanced graphing calculators continued to do well in the Grand Prix de Math, well, every once in a while anyway. Mr. Acer's continual use of team politics and the way he mistreated the super-intelligent nerds of the day meant that for a very long time, Acer Abacus was the laughingstock of the math world, and all they could scrounge up were a few lucky proofs and theorems here and there.

    Of course, we can't forget about Mr. Acer's regular calculators as well. Mr. Acer knew they were garbage, so to increase sales they once again boasted about their math pedigree, how they had competed at all the major math competitions, and how all the great nerds had used Acer calculators to achieve victory. People bought into it, and soon regular 4 function Acer calculators were once again selling, and the mystique of Acer Abacus was once again on the rise.

    Tragically, Mr. Acer passed away sometime in the 1980s, and for about 17 years fell into a dry spell. The advanced competition calculators weren't doing very well, and neither were the regular 4 function calculators. All of that changed with the coming of a super nerd genius by the name of Billy Joe. Billy Joe was already being heralded as the nerd to end all nerds, and when he joined the Acer Abacus team he brought with him all of his electrical and computer engineering associates who had worked with him at his previous Grand Prix de Math team. Now Acer Abacus once again was winning math competitions, and Billy Joe has won a record 6 Math Championships, and even lets his teammate Ricardo Zattobalogo do a few math problems right as well.

    It seems that Mr. Acer's hard work and genius paid off; once again Acer Abacus have prestige and glory that they lacked so badly in the earlier days. Acer Laptops, computers, and other scientific equipment is still of dubious quality, but the Acer name more than makes up for that, don't you think so?

    *Please don't sue me, this is just a parody.*
     

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