for the lawyers, hope it hasnt been posted..

... and some smart and not so smart answers:

>> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
>> things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
>> published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm as
>> these exchanges were actually taking place.
>>
>> Q: Are you sexually active?
>> A: No, I just lie there.
>> __________
>> Q: What is your date of birth?
>> A: July 15th.
>> Q: What year?
>> A: Every year.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>> A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>> A: Yes
>> Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>> A: I forget.
>> Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've
>> forgotten?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>> A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>> Q: How long has he lived with you?
>> A: Forty-five years.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
>> that morning?
>> A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>> Q: And why did that upset you?
>> A: My name is Susan.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
>> occult?
>> A: We both do.
>> Q: Voodoo?
>> A: We do.
>> Q: You do?
>> A: Yes, voodoo.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
>> doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>> A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>> A: Yes.
>> Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: She had three children, right?
>> A: Yes.
>> Q: How many were boys?
>> A: None.
>> Q: Were there any girls?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
>> A: By death.
>> Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Can you describe the individual?
>> A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>> Q: Was this a male, or a female?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
>> which I sent to your attorney?
>> A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>> A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>> A: Oral.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>> A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>> Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
>> A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>> __________
>>
>> Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
>> A: No.
>> Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
>> A: No.
>> Q: Did you check for breathing?
>> A: No.
>> Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
>> autopsy?
>> A: No.
>> Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>> Q: But isn't it possible the patient could still have been alive,
>> nevertheless?
>> A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
>> somewhere.

 

well that was fun wasnt it?