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Funny Bad Business Ideas

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Jerrari, Mar 25, 2004.

  1. Jerrari

    Jerrari F1 Veteran

    Jul 24, 2001
    5,458
    Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jerry Wiersma
    In the wake of all of the stupid small businesses that I see people open up around town, I thought it would be funny to think up some of our own bad business ideas. I'll start:
    THE SUN WORSHIPERS OUTLET CENTER
    THE MEAT-N-POTATOES RESTAURANT
    THE PIT BULL PETTING ZOO
    THE OSAMA CONFERENCE CENTER
    THE MICHAEL JACKSON DAYCARE CENTER
    GREAT WHITE PYROTECHNICS
     
  2. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    58,584
    In front of you
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    BCHC
    Dan Quayle will eat there every night.

    DL
     
  3. sjmst

    sjmst F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 31, 2003
    9,787
    Long Island, NY
    Full Name:
    Sam
    Solar powered flashlights
    Inflatable dart boards
     
  4. Cavallino Motors

    Cavallino Motors F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    May 31, 2001
    14,143
    Florida or Argentina
    Full Name:
    Martin W.
    Honest Used Car Dealers :)
     
  5. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    58,584
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    BCHC
    Huh, Where?

    DL
     
  6. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

    Dehydrated water
     
  7. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    22,201
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    -Vending machines with hair dye placed in nursing homes.
    "You'll forget your gray like your families have forgotten you"

    -Coin operated TP dispensers for bathrooms

    -Teriyaki and Film processing (especially for Seattle)

    Possibly my best bad idea:
    -Lease-A-Puppy: Show-quality purebred dogs leased from 6 weeks-12mos. Option to buy at lease end and all shots and professional training classes included. If your kids won't take care of it, we'll take it back. Sales of lease returns under market prices, but with the margin on the lease cost it wouldn't matter.
     
  8. Jerrari

    Jerrari F1 Veteran

    Jul 24, 2001
    5,458
    Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jerry Wiersma
    Ryan, those are the best bad ideas yet! You're a great terrible marketer...LOL!!
     
  9. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    22,201
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    Thought of this before, but since the Passion has been a hit, I'll release my ultra-spicy hot sauce:

    The Atonement
    "You'll pray for this cup to pass!"

    Marketing classes were among my favorites :).
     
  10. benedict

    benedict Formula Junior

    Nov 6, 2003
    731
    Full Name:
    Ben
    Along those lines I always envisioned this commercial:

    Jesus in a tomb raising Lazarus from the dead
    Lazarus hugging Him and weeping, "Thank you my Lord"
    Jesus pulling out a bottle of Scope- "Lazarus, dude, before we go any further,
    Scope it up buddy!"

    Either that or "Paris Hilton Labor Union local 547."
     
  11. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    22,201
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    How about combining a cemetary and a golf course? They're both well-manicured green spaces. "Yes, my husband and I were looking to secure plots overlooking the 6th fairway." I'm sure there's plenty of golfers who would love to be buried on a course. Or have their mausoleum in the clubhouse.


    I've always thought that having a conglomerate corporation and owning a fast food chain, a tobacco company and an HMO would be an incredible cycle of cash flow and lifelong clients.

    Or you could start a law firm and just sue all of the above ;-).


    Or how about combining a hospital with subsidiaries like those wheelchairs and scooters bought with Medicare money, or combining it with an estate management law firm, and a funeral home/headstone co/cemetary/golf course.
     
  12. Jerrari

    Jerrari F1 Veteran

    Jul 24, 2001
    5,458
    Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jerry Wiersma
    How about a store selling Rolexes and Nascar goods?
     
  13. Gilles27

    Gilles27 F1 World Champ

    Mar 16, 2002
    13,337
    Ex-Urbia
    Full Name:
    Jack
    How about opening up an Atkins-Free restaurant? "We know you miss your carbs...c'mon in and get re-acquainted."
     
  14. wax

    wax Four Time F1 World Champ
    Advising Moderator

    Jul 20, 2003
    44,140
    SFPD
    Full Name:
    Dirty Harry
    Kitten dispensers - 5 cents for every cat deposited, 5 dollars for every cat sold, er, recycled.

    Le Cabbage - Nothing but cabbage-based dishes & pay toilets. "Yum" clink *poooooooot*
     
  15. MarkPDX

    MarkPDX F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Apr 21, 2003
    11,115
    Gulf Coast
    Saw this on another board:

    e-Hooker.com

    First you fill out a questionaire pertaining to sexual tastes, preferences, perversions and deviant tendencies. Submit and be immediately connected with a hooker or escort of your choice. As a service to premium members your profile and requirements would be sent to 6 ladies of the trade and have them bid on your business. It's like Pimpline instead of Priceline.
     
  16. Jerrari

    Jerrari F1 Veteran

    Jul 24, 2001
    5,458
    Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jerry Wiersma
    Watch swapping. You know how you get sick of your watch(es) after a while? Well, simply look at all of the on-line photos of other network member's watches and trade with them for 90 days or so. Come to think of it, this could work for spouses as well. You're responsible for any damages.
     
  17. Schatten

    Schatten F1 World Champ
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    Apr 3, 2001
    11,237
    Austin, TX
    Full Name:
    Randy
    One that I came up with some time ago would be: wireless power! however, the remote system would be required to run on batteries to receive the power signal. =)
     
  18. Jerrari

    Jerrari F1 Veteran

    Jul 24, 2001
    5,458
    Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jerry Wiersma
    How about wireless wire?
     
  19. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
    California
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    The Yugo Market Letter...?
     
  20. Fastviper

    Fastviper F1 Rookie

    Nov 20, 2003
    4,410
    Texas
    Full Name:
    Dash
    invisible underware

    our slogan would be
    "take the worry out of being in a car crash"

    and we would sell millions to the govt. great idea!

    john
     
  21. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    22,201
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    I visited Amsterdam with family, and we saw a building that was a 'prostitute union,' and they had these big registry books that were essentially a catalog with photos and stats of all the members. Bad place.
     
  22. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    22,201
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    Shower Video Phone. Teleconferencing for the busy person with hygiene priorities.
     
  23. jonesn

    jonesn Formula Junior

    Nov 2, 2003
    840
    STL-MO
    Full Name:
    Evan "Trouble" Jones
    Vitamin enriched toothpaste :)

    Don't spit, swallow! All of your daily vitamins are laced into a minty toothpaste that saves you time and adds years to your life. Brushing is entirely optional.
     
  24. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    22,201
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    I got a great one the other day... we've got plenty of fruit flavored vitamins out there, but there's pent up demand for


    VEGETAMINS!

    That's right, 100% of your RDA of over 26 vitamins and minerals in the tasty flavor of nature's finest - classics such as broccoli, asparagus, radish and onion!
     
  25. WJHMH

    WJHMH Two Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Sep 5, 2001
    21,922
    Panther City, Texas
    Full Name:
    Will
    A rotary dialer on a cell phone.
     

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