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Funny Joke of the Day

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Nibblesworth, Nov 19, 2003.

  1. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
    BANNED

    Nov 29, 2002
    1,756
    Southern California
    Full Name:
    BillyBoy
    A man and woman were having marital problems so they
    went to see a marriage counselor.

    The counselor, in an attempt to find some common
    ground from which to begin his analysis said, "Tell me
    about anything the two of you have in common."

    After a silent moment the husband spoke first and politely stated,
    "Well, neither one of us suck ****."
     
  2. BWS550

    BWS550 Wants to be a mod

    Apr 1, 2002
    8,933
    NEW JERSEY
    Full Name:
    BRUCE WELLINGTON
    JOKE...A LITTLE CLEANER :)

    WHAT DOES THE REV BILLY GRAHAM AND THE NEW YORK JETS HAVE IN COMMON???????




    ANSWER....THEY BOTH HAVE THE POWER TO GET 60,000 PEOPLE OFF THEIR SEATS AND AT THE SAME TIME AND YELL "JESUS CHRIST"
     
  3. Sfumato

    Sfumato F1 Veteran
    Rossa Subscribed

    Nov 1, 2003
    9,546
    Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, Anglesey, Wales
    Full Name:
    Angus Podgorney
    A lawyer went duck hunting in rural Oklahoma. He shot and dropped a bird, but
    it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer
    climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him
    what he was doing.

    The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm
    going to retrieve it."

    The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over
    here.

    The indignant lawyer said, "I'm one of the best trial attorneys in Oklahoma
    and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you
    own.

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle
    disputes in these parts of Oklahoma. We settle small disagreements like this with
    the Okie Three Kick Rule."

    The lawyer asked, "What's that?"

    The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I
    kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth
    until someone gives up."

    The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he
    could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

    The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
    attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into
    the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff
    sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The barrister was on all
    fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a
    fresh cow pie.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
    Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now
    it's my turn."

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You
    can have the duck."
     
  4. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
    BANNED

    Nov 29, 2002
    1,756
    Southern California
    Full Name:
    BillyBoy
    ROTFLMFAO!!! That was too damn funny....
     
  5. stokpro

    stokpro F1 Rookie
    Owner Lifetime Rossa

    Jun 25, 2003
    4,247
    Himalayas
    A man returned home from work one day to find his wife sitting on
    the curb with her suitcase beside her. "What are you doing?", he asked. "I'm leaving you," she replied. "Why?!", the man inquired.
    "I just realized that I can make $400 a night doing what I do with
    you for free," she answered.

    The man went into the house and returned a few minutes later with a suitcase and sat down on the curb beside her. "What are you doing?", she asked. "I'm going with you," he replied. "I want to see how you're going to live on $800 a year."
     
  6. stokpro

    stokpro F1 Rookie
    Owner Lifetime Rossa

    Jun 25, 2003
    4,247
    Himalayas
    Alright one more....

    A woman is shopping in the local supermarket. She selects milk, some eggs, a carton of juice, and an apple.

    As she unloads her items at the cash register to pay, a drunk standing behind her in line watches. "You must be single," he slurs.

    The woman looks at the four items on the belt, and seeing nothing unusual about her selection says, "That's right. How on Earth did you know?"

    "Simple," He replies, "you're ugly."
     

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