From the National Post in Canada...Kinda funny play on words. That sound you hear? It's the tightening of sportscasters sphincters as they realize the queen of speed skating is a Chinese woman named Manli Wang. Seriously. Manli Wang(although some outlets call her Wang Manli-and who can blame them?). Anyhow if Wang holds up,the 2006 winter games in Torino are shaping up to have more double entendres than an episode of Threes Company(the early years before it lost its integrity). We think you'll be hearing something like this... "Brian Williams and Scott Oake here at rinkside for the women's 500 meter final. Three thousand people packing the arena for a close look at Manli Wang. The guns fires- and oh,wait Manli Wang has gotten off too quickly. Pretty sheepish look on Manli Wang's face right now...." "Lets try this again. And they're off! Manli Wang gets going with a nice easy rhythm this time. Approaching the curve and sneaking up on the pack from behind. And now the burst of speed we've come to expect from manli Wang. Have you ever seen Wang move like this Scott? I Know I sure havn't. "Now we're at the halfway mark and all seven women are chasing Manli Wang as if their lives depended on it. I don't think they'll be getting a piece of Manli Wang today, folks. Manli wang just keeps chugging away,head down,relentless. What a sight to behold! "We're nearing the finish line and it's looking good for--Ohmigod! Manli Wang has lost traction! Manli Wang has wiped out and is sliding all over the track! There are four women stuck on top of Mnali Wang right now and frankly,thats the last place they expected to find thesleves today,Scott." "Hang on a minute,folks. We've just been told we're going to throw back to the broadcast booth for an exclusive conversation with longtime IOC insider Dick Pound of Montreal. And we wonder what Dick Pound has to say about Manli-----" O.k that's enough. Back to your Captain Underpants books or whatever.