george carlin - rip

The passing of a legend, may he RIP.

 

I love this one from George.


I’m a modern man, a man for the millineum. Digital and smoke free. I’m a diversified multicutural postmodern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded. I’ve been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech lowlife. A cutting edge, state of the art bi-costal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I’m new wave, but I’m old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired heat-seeking warm hearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradeable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time-to-time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I’m on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high-concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.

I’m a totally on-going bigfoot slamdunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging work-a-holic. A working rage-a-holic. Out of rehab, and in denial.

I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless. I’m an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I’m a non-believer and over-achiever, laid back but fashion forward, up-front, down home, low rent, high maintenance. Supersize, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready and built to last. I’m a hands-on footloose kneejerk headcase, prematurely post traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has it’s own cash flow.

I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly, and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the “f” word in my email, and my software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini-mall. I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll free, bite size ready to wear and I come in all sizes. A fully equiped , factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.

I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vaccuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude-dude, but I’m the real-deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked, and ready to rock. Rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my slide. Driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and women. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose, I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy, and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hanging in, ain’t no doubt, and I’m hanging tough, over and out.

 

"Saving the Planet" is golden.

"The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what, a hundred thousand? And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we’re a threat?
The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles…hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages…And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet…the planet…the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!"