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George W. Bush's Resume

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by JeffB, Mar 29, 2004.

  1. JeffB

    JeffB Formula 3

    Jan 16, 2004
    1,121
    Northville, Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jeff B
    Past Work Experience

    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

    I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

    I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

    I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

    With my father's help and name, I was elected Governor of Texas.

    Accomplishments as Governor

    I changed pollution laws in favor of the power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

    I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.

    I cut taxes and bankrupted Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

    I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.

    I became U.S. President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes with the help of major Enron money and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

    Accomplishments as President
    I attacked and overtook two countries.

    I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

    I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

    I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

    My record for environmental issues is the least of my concerns.

    I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

    I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one in U.S. history.

    I am supporting development of a "Tactical Bunker Buster" nuke, a WMD.

    I am getting our troops killed, under the lie of Sadam's procurement of Yellow Cake Nuke WMD components, then blaming the lie on our British friends.

    I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. president.

    In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

    I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

    I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in U.S. history.

    I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

    I signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the Constitution than any president in history.

    I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

    I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use national reserves as past presidents have done.

    I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.



    I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

    I've dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.

    I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.

    I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
    administration in U.S. history.

    My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

    I am the first president in U.S. history to have almost all 50 states of the Union simultaneously suffer massive financial crisis.

    I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in history.

    I am the first president in U.S. history to order a pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

    I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

    I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in history.

    I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

    I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Elections Monitoring Board.

    I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.

    I rendered the entire United Nations viewpoints irrelevant.

    I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

    I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" (detainees) and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

    I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

    I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.



    My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation) presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court
    during my election decision.

    I have spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.

    I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most resented country in the world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy in World history.

    I am actively working on a policy of "disengagement" creating the most hostile of Israel-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

    I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

    I am the first U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

    I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

    I set an all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling their huge personal investments in corporations bidding for U.S. contracts.

    I failed to fulfill my pledge to capture Osama Bin Laden, dead or alive.

    I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the U.S. Capitol Building. Even after 18 months I have no leads and no credible suspects.

    In the past 18 months following the World Trade Center attack I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

    I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any president in U.S. history.

    In a little over two years, I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided since the Civil War.

    I entered my office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and have turned every single economic category downward -- all in less than two years.

    Records and References:


    I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. My Texas driving record has been erased and is not available.

    I was AWOL from the National Guard.

    I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

    All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.


    All records of SEC investigations into insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

    All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.


    ~ Please consider my experience when voting in 2004. ~
     
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  3. C. Losito

    C. Losito Formula Junior

    Dec 12, 2003
    908
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    Chris Losito
  4. lotustt

    lotustt Formula 3

    Aug 28, 2002
    2,026
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    TRM
    Ya he's a great guy!!!..............NOT
     
  5. tifosi69

    tifosi69 Formula 3

    Dec 23, 2003
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    Al-Al Cool J
    The preceeding announcement brought to you by Terry McAuliffe, the Democratic National Party and John Kerry
     
  6. zjpj

    zjpj F1 Veteran

    Nov 4, 2003
    5,938
    USA
    shut up
     
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  8. writerguy

    writerguy F1 Veteran

    Sep 30, 2003
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    Ok Quick the Us' over here and the THem over there Flame undies good and tight and away we goooooooo....
     
  9. scott61

    scott61 F1 Rookie

    Feb 11, 2004
    2,592
    North of Boston
    Could you make one of those resume's for Kennedy, Any Kennedy will do, heck how about one for Clinton that could be some real fun. At least you have another 4 years to poke at Bush cause America will not vote for an Ultra Liberal Senator from Massachusetts, And this coming from someone who lives in Massachusetts
     
  10. rob lay

    rob lay Administrator
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    Dec 1, 2000
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  11. jimpo1

    jimpo1 Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Jul 30, 2001
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    Threads like this make me miss Maranelloman...
     
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  13. tifosi69

    tifosi69 Formula 3

    Dec 23, 2003
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    Al-Al Cool J
    AMEN BROTHER, that's what I'm saying, I just feel bad for you having to live with them. It never ceases to amaze me how the gangster was so able to launder/wash his wealth and become "American Royalty" Make me gag! Just because it happened at the turn of the century rather than now, in the information age the whole litter would have been exposed for what they are. How nice it must be to live in Camelot!
     
  14. rob lay

    rob lay Administrator
    Staff Member Admin Social Subscribed Miami 2018 Owner

    Dec 1, 2000
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    Why do you miss him, he's around.
     
  15. C. Losito

    C. Losito Formula Junior

    Dec 12, 2003
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    Chris Losito
    ...as well as pointing out some obvious errors. Some of it's true, no denial here.
     
  16. zjpj

    zjpj F1 Veteran

    Nov 4, 2003
    5,938
    USA
    Exactly.

    Withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law? Good. What authority should they have over us? I attended a very interesting Government Department lecture on the subject with regard to the Israeli security fence.

    Not letting small, underdeveloped countries in the UN tell us what to do? Good. As one of my professors referred to the UN, "they are like a high school student government. These are a group of people who otherwise would have absolutely no power getting together and passing resolutions on things as though what they say really matters."
     
  17. 96impalaSS

    96impalaSS F1 Rookie

    Dec 8, 2003
    3,504
    Hell
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    Chris
    I may be a die hard Republican but I'll be the first to admit that President.Bush is a complete dip$hit. I honestly feel that if somehow a illetarate crack addicted bum off the streets of New York were to be brought into office there would very well be the exact same results that we have gotten with President.Bush.

    (P.S. Said crack addicted bum off the streets probally had a nice job(at least McDonalds) 5 years ago until Bush came into office.)
     
  18. tifosi69

    tifosi69 Formula 3

    Dec 23, 2003
    1,671
    Atlanta, Ga.
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    Al-Al Cool J
    Zipi, I mentioned these EXACT points in several other threads and got blasted by Slim, Art et al. for the "my way or the highway" approach. Thanks for coming to my aid and saying some things that NEED to be said but for courage! KUDOS And what makes it worse is after they pat themselves on the back and pass their resolutions they come to US to fund and use our military to administer their programs! The UN is a JOKE!
     
  19. zjpj

    zjpj F1 Veteran

    Nov 4, 2003
    5,938
    USA
    And, by the way, the European countries don't want the International Court or whatever it's called to be able to say what countries can and can't do either. Everyone, including France, Germany, etc. is trying to convince them to keep their mouths shut over Israel because it would just be laughable to think that a group of people from who knows where can tell countries what to do.
     
  20. zjpj

    zjpj F1 Veteran

    Nov 4, 2003
    5,938
    USA
    Let's not forget history, either. The U.S. is in this position now because of WWII. Think what you want, it's true. The U.S. won the second world war and that's a big deal. We are still the most affluent, strongest militarily, and in the greatest position of power. Of course these other countries can pass resolutions until they are blue in the face. But in the end, what does it mean? That's like reviewing a car without driving it. Countries who aren't in a position to do ANYTHING can't tell other countries what they can and can't do. Then there's a humanitarian mission that they want and they want us to support it (and I wish we could support them all.) The fact is you can't have countries with no money ordering other countries like the U.S. how to spend its money!

    I want a President who I know will protect MY interests as an American.
     
  21. JeffB

    JeffB Formula 3

    Jan 16, 2004
    1,121
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    Jeff B
    That's good, logical thinking... "Who cares what the rest of the world thinks about us because we can kick their asses".
     
  22. zjpj

    zjpj F1 Veteran

    Nov 4, 2003
    5,938
    USA
    Ok, I think you should buy me a Ferrari. And I don't think you should eat meat because I'm a vegetarian. And I don't much like your wife, so divorce her - that was a bad decision on your part.

    Edit: I'm not trying to be rude, my point is merely: who am I to tell you how to live your life? In questions of morality, whose morals apply? In questions of security, how can one country possibly be expected not to do what it thinks is right for itself because some other country doesn't like it?

    Oh, Mr. Libya, you don't like my foreign policy? Well, you should have said something and I could have adjusted it accordingly! And I'm very sorry for not asking you sooner...

    give me a break!
     
  23. JeffB

    JeffB Formula 3

    Jan 16, 2004
    1,121
    Northville, Michigan
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    Jeff B
    C'mon now, you don't think that's a bit of an exaggeration? Who are you portraying? The UN? Sounds more like China, Cuba, etc...
     
  24. zjpj

    zjpj F1 Veteran

    Nov 4, 2003
    5,938
    USA
    Jeff, I DEFINITELY don't think that whoever has the might has the right, and I shouldn't come off that way. Some powerful countries have done attrocious things throughout the history of mankind. But I think that ultimately the United States has to be the final judge of what's in its best interest, that's all.
     
  25. Spasso

    Spasso F1 World Champ
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    Feb 16, 2003
    14,612
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    Han Solo
    JeffB,
    About 25% of your list might be the sole responsibility of Geogre W. but it would be utterly rediculous to think that Little George was, by himself, responsible for things like

    the huge economic down turn ( that started when Clinton was in office),

    the most bankruptcies ever (see 911),

    highest levels of corporate corruption (that started and continued through both terms of the Clinton presidency).

    You've been listening to James Carvelle again haven't you?

    Your list has way too many inaccuracies and half truths most of which are out of context to be addressed. If this is how slanted the Democrats look at things then thanks for the reminder.

    DJ
     
  26. JeffB

    JeffB Formula 3

    Jan 16, 2004
    1,121
    Northville, Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jeff B
    I agree, but we share this world with many other countries and just as they need us, we need them for many reasons. We can't go around pissing on everybody, bullying them, ignoring their voices, etc... all because we've got more money & a stronger military.
     
  27. maranelloman

    maranelloman Guest

    Hoo-boy. Allow me to take a stab at just a few of these choice tidbits, OK, Mr. McAuliffe? BTW, how's that sweetheart Global Crossing insider trading deal workl out for ya?

    OH, WE WILL. TRUST US, JEFFIE, WE WILL.
     
  28. Tyler

    Tyler F1 Rookie

    Dec 19, 2001
    4,274
    dusty old farm town
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    Tyler
    Damnit Dave, that's the kind of a$$ kicking that brings a tear to my eyes. Thanks for that, still laughing. :)
     

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