Getting her back

Dumbest thing I did was dump my g/f, the one I was head over heels for a few years back. Most guys on here are gonna say, be a man and move on; but thats much easier to say than do. Just tell her what you are feeling, not the real reason why you dumped her though. She says no, then just move on.

 

Did you actually sow any wild oats? Doesn't sound like it.

Sorry but I'm going to have to go with "Stop being a little biotch and just tell her". This is, IMHO the absolute best way to approach it.. No BS this time around.

Good Luck!

C.

 

Do not just tell her. I mean really, give me a break. Surely you know better than that.

Make plans to go out together, casually. Take her to a nice place for dinner and then to a comedy club. During dinner and the club, make sure she has plenty to drink. You want her loose, happy and relaxed. Afterward, go for a walk. During during the walk, reach for her hand and then casually tell her you have always regretted ending things with her. Say it wistfully. Not like your pleading for her back. You dont want sympathy, your NOT a loser begging. Say it as an opening. Toss her a softball. If she swings, your ready to be hit. If not, ask her how one of her hot friends has been doing lately.

Your playing the game. Dont fold like weakling.... PLAY.



Terry

 

I'm about the same age as you, and heck, have had similar thoughts, but until the last few weeks, I've just let it go. The hint was given about a year ago, but it wasn't taken, so I figure the timing just isn't right, or was just right for that period of time when we were something.

While you two still talk, I can only say, don't be too serious about it, or maybe you should? Heck, a single guy can only offer advice in hindsight.

Don't dwell too much, try to step outside your shoes and look at the big picture. That might shed some light.

 

I won't call you a "biatch" but, honestly, what's wrong with just telling and asking her? Honesty can be a good thing. JMO.

Dane

 

Chicks respect a guy with some balls. Meet her for coffee or something and tell her you decided to go out and "squeeze the tomatoes" so to speak and you have now realized that what you were looking for was right in front of you and that you'd like to give things another try. If she has decided to move on tell her you understand and that she should call if she changes her mind. If there's still a spark then she'll respond. Don't under any circumstances let her think she's in control. Once that happens she'll try to walk all over you. Good luck.

 

i'm so glad i'm asexual...

 

Admitting that you haven't been able to find anyone 'better' (anyway you put this it'll be taken this way) will put her in control. Imagine if a woman said that to you..

You have to make it seem as if you've matured and changed- Women respond to this far better than being compared to others and eventually being declared the 'winner'; change is something they usually ask us to do (or feign) in a relationship anyways. You're now a dynamic character with her along for the ride, and no one is questioning your motives (can't find anyone else, may dump you again if I do).

The problem with the whole thing is that you have to catch her off guard- dinners, coffee, movies, comedy clubs, moon-lit walks on the beach, etc will set off her radar at some point, and she may immediately give you a knee-jerk answer that isn't agreeable since you haven't been given the opportunity to demonstrate your new maturity and outlook on life (and not just her).

It has to evolve in a manner that is roughly outlined by you. Give her a call and have a real conversation. Suggest doing something she talks about and pick a good time during that event that you can casually touch on the subject (alcohol would be recommended) and leave it as an open invitation with no expectation of an answer.

It's a delicate balance- you can't admit you were wrong and lose control in the next go-round, but you also can't demand that she hop back on-board seemingly out of the blue.

Sorry for the knee-jerk reaction previously, sometimes reading the other responses kicks my ass into gear.

-Chris

 

B.S.! I've seen pic's of that cavallino....

D

 

My current fiancee ran off with her ex about 10 years ago (1995). We dated for around 3 months and she went out, cheated on me and then took off with no explanation.

I got to be best friends with one of her friends (he died this past March btw) and we ran around town sleeping with every woman we could find. I knew he was talking to her, so that felt good. She eventually broke up with the guy and found me again (1998). We went out a few times and she asked me if I could ever be "serious" about her again. I said, "sure, but you'll have to put up with my girlfriends until I decide you can behave yourself." I probably blew her off for around 4 months while I kept running around town.

Finally I decided she WAS serious and I got rid of the other women one by one. Actually her dad had a talk with me and said she'd been miserable for nearly 3 years. I did relent and we've been happy ever since - going on 7+ years now with zero problems. She's my best friend.

All I can say is go about your life. Don't play games - I personally wanted to sleep around at the time so her constantly hearing about it from a mutual friend was an added plus. If it's meant to happen, it will. Otherwise, don't work it. People meant to be together will get together. You can't talk a person into it IMO. Playing games never works.

RMX

 

well here is my 2 cents and im going to give an honest no screwing around answer, sorry guys im sure your all waitng to see what ol jonny boy is gonna post. if your still interested in her call her up and make simple plans, coffee or my favorite a simple walk in the park or beach. just have a normal conversation and dont bring up the past !!! she will get the idea of why you want to meet up with her soon enough. from that point ask her to lunch on a different day [ no phone calls in between ] after the lunch thing continue it simple, then after a few of those the big dinner date. you will be on your way to rekindeling your relationship. that was my serious side. now for the screwie side- i expect to see some picks of what this little piece of ass looks like. let me decide whether or not you should even date her... fake cans ?????? = deffinately date her, heavy !!!!

 

Phew, I was beginning to wonder when you'd swing back to "normal".

C.

 

I can't give advice about females, I'm married.

 

Your "favorite" my you know what. I seem to recall a thread of yours!!

http://www.ferrarichat.com/forum/poll.php?do=showresults&pollid=779

I don't see "simple plans, coffee or a walk" as an option, Johnny!!!



Dane

 

...and living happily retired, too, Dr Fishsticks?

Dane
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that thread is for after he gets back with her. and yes its simple. i guess you must be one of those guys who couldnt score in a monkey whore house with a handful of bananas. lol lol

 

You bunch of *******! Just ask her.

Either she's holding onto you because you give her things her current relationships don't while sleeping with other guys...

or

She's been giving you the golden opportunity to use you and set you up for failure and you've suddenly catched on...

or

You can use her for sex then its fairly easy to get things moving again romantically.

Just ask her. Is it really that difficult?

I've never wanted to get together with any of my ex girlfriends unless its for sex. Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for them, they know this.

Please allow me some artistic freedom for the dialogue below.

Racerx: "I should find a girlfriend."
F-chat: "What?"
F-chat: "A girlfriend?"

Racerx: "Yeah."
F-chat: "Just ask man."

Racerx: "What are you talking about?"
F-chat: "Months of friendship/contact and you still can't ask."

Racerx: "What?"
F-chat: "You called her because you liked her company."

Racerx: "Oh hey hey, no no no. I didn't mean..."
F-chat: "Yes you did, so just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask man."

Racerx: "Would.. would that be a problem?"
F-chat: "Is it a problem for you to ask?"

Racerx (to her): "Lets go out again and see where things go."
Her (to you): "Okay" or "I don't think so."

Make her explain "Maybe" or "I don't know" answers. You don't spend time with your ex girlfriend unless you were in it for the sex (and you're in the mood for that again) or you know you're not interested.

You know. She knows. So just friggin' ask.

Sunny

 

Yow! Both KF and I are going on a diet.



Monday.

 

Not me, baby!! I'm one Kool chimp!

Dane
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So is EVERYBODY else!!!!!!

 

...and a makeover for KF??
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