ManLife GETTING OVER A FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING

Hi
What helps me is two things
1) be prepared, know what your are speaking about
2) pick out 3 distinctive people near the middle of the audience front to back (bright shirt etc.) ......left, center and right..... slowly shift to these three back and forth as you speak. Feels like you are speaking to three people.

 

Here's a tip on how you can make your children comfortable as public speakers:

Start them on a musical instrument. Start them young. They'll regularly have to perform, usually solo, in front of a large audience. They'll have to work on something they know if they screw up, their friends will see them and laugh. That always got me motivated. School band is great but add private lessons if you want your child to do more than be frustrated. You never know what can happen either. I excelled at the Clarinet, something I wouldn't have touched with a ten meter cattle prod unless I was forced. And because of my many years of practicing and playing, I can hold my breath for three minutes and swim underwater an entire olympic size pool length.

I've had to give speeches, talks, discussions, sales pitches, and Q&A in front of both friendly and unfriendly crowds my entire career and I've never once given it a second thought. Those early terrors with the clarinet burned that out of me.

 

Unless they play percussion. Drummers, interestingly, seemed to me to be the extroverts in any band or orchestra I played in, but rarely, if ever, had an opportunity to solo. Not talking the guy playing a drum kit in the neighborhood band, I'm talking the guy playing snare drum, or tympani in the concert band or orchestra.

Played percussion from 3rd grade through college, often was 1st seat, I don't recall ever playing a solo. Closest you get are the cymbal clashes in the Star Spangled Banner.

D

 

All good stuff above. I’ll add ….. To feel brave, one must act bravely.

 

Fairly recently, I had to address a large group of people, ~ 600, give or take.

The comments above are spot on.

What also helped me:
As I was just about to speak, it hit me that some small number would like my presentation, and some small number would not like it, and the majority would be playing with their cell phones. So, I figured, just don't worry. I tried to look around the audience slowly and randomly stop on a few people, but I liked the idea of picking 3 or so.

 

I married into a Jewish family, and have always thought that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech at age 12 is a great preparatory for this.
Get up in front of a temple of 2-300 people, recite your prayer, do your speech later after dinner...good, basic training.

 

Just stop thinking too much about it. You should be good.

 

If you have the confidence that you know your **** inside and out, you can handle anything.

 

Yes...but you don't always have that luxury. Sometimes you need to deliver the material of others...and do it with confidence. Not easy...

 

You find a way to make it clear you are not the SME, if you don't do that - if you are not the SME,
people that ARE familiar with the subject will see that literally within seconds, and you have no credibility.

It ALL depends on your audience, how familiar they are with the subject.

Telling a class of 8 yr olds how a computer works is vastly different from telling a
room full of Microsoft System Engineers how a computer works.

 

SME - Subject Matter Expert, for those that don't know.

 

I've done a lot of public speaking, and I'm by nature an introvert. Like everything else in life, the more you do it, the better you get. Don't be afraid to be real. Get out from behind the podium. For the sake of all that is good, do not use PowerPoint. Take some risks. Show people you are real. Watch Ted talks.

Some stage fright is good because it keeps you on your toes. Go watch Johnny Carson monologues. Notice how he keeps his right hand in his pocket? That is to hide his nervousness. (Pro tip: don't keep any change in your pocket.) If you don't have stage fright, you're going to get sloopy. Don't ask how I know this to be true.