Giving A Kidney? What a Position to be in...

Sorry to hear about your brother

I suspect you'll have the same blood type but I don't think that's the determining factor in a match. A friend has just had a bone marrow transplant and none of his family matched...

That made me laugh (because I thought that very thing!)

 

Wow nice of you to think about giving your brother the bad kidney!!

It's easy for me to read this and give you the "PC" answer.....If it were my brother I'd give up a kidney no problem. I'd like to think if it came down to it and I was a match, that I really would do that for my brother.

It's not so easy I imagine to wrestle with the decision for real though!

I suppose it doesn't hurt to think about the possibilities, but really until you find out the whole story and then find out if you are even a match it's really a theoretical exercise.

Best of luck to you and your Brother. Hope it all works out well.

 

Wow. Sorry to hear about your brother. Really tough question. Even based on the limited amount of info you gave about your relationship, I think you have to be a ready and willing donor. Not just for him, but for your entire family.

 

Well I know you only need one to live. I'm sure docs will chime in. I cant imagine the feeling of needing to have to get a donated kidney. Must be really scary.

 

FWIW: http://www.umm.edu/transplant/kidney/qanda.htm

that's a real pickle, Mike. good luck with your decision; I have a similar relationship with my sister (though she's not an ex-con ), I'd have a tough time being convinced to do it.

 

in my opinion being family shouldn't have anything to do with it. Just because you're related doesn't earn him the right for a 'second chance' so to say. from little info we have, he seems like a person who you only know because he's your brother, otherwise you'd have 0 to do with him. think of him as that annoying classmate who was an utter dick. Now he's dieng and your former classmates ask you to give him a kidney...

it might seem cruel but if you don't care about him and he's a bad person....why should you?

 

First, sorry for your bro. I don't know what kind of cancer would take both kidneys, other than synchronous Renal Cell Carcinomas. And even then doctors try VERY hard to preserve any kidney tissue. That is very unusual but has happened.

In order to be a candidate for donation you have to have one basically perfect kidney to keep. The donated one has to be good of course, but may have so minor problems.

Having a history of kidney stones may very well disqualify you as a stone in a solitary kidney is a much, much bigger deal than in someone with 2 kidneys.

I don't do transplants nor participate in anyway and my info maybe outdated.

 

Mike, due to circumstances very similar to what you've described, I would have no problem refusing my brother a kidney - even if it was a life or death situation. Like Bas said, you only know him because you're related - and from what it sounds like, his new lease on life would be undeserved. I imagine his antics have caused you and your family much grief over the years - a new lease on life would only allow him to continue being ...himself. Besides, what if your wife or someone you love needs a kidney later on in life? If it's something you'd really do, save it for someone you love.

 

Sorry to hear Mike.

And you're right, it IS a tough call.

As much as I love my Brother and get along with him, I would still be crapping myself if I were in the same situation.

But if it meant life or death, then of course I would do it.

Wish you all the best mate.

 

Some people don't deserve a second chance. I'm not saying we all have the right to play God, but if you a chance to improve someone's life, shouldn't it be someone who hasn't made such a negative impact on so many lives?

 

I don't want to turn this into a soap opera.

But what if this new kidney actually gives him a new outlook on life?

I know what you're saying, but this may the "wake up call" he needs to make a better life for himself, his family and those around him.

 

The "what if" road is a dangerous one. What if, a year after giving his brother a kidney, he finds out his wife needs a kidney? What if a new lease on life makes his brother feel invincible, and he goes out and is even more violent than ever, then gets shot and killed a week later?

I understand a new kidney, thus a new lease on life, could be a wake-up call for Mike's brother. But change happens over time, not during an inpatient procedure. He won't come out of the anesthesia with a new attitude - just a new kidney.

 

Wish I could help...but unfortunately I only have 1 Kidney

Lost it at 6mos old due to Cancer (wilms tumor). I am lucky to be here!

If I had two...I would donate one to family or a good friend.

Not any easy decision, but what a gesture.

 

That's the answer! Have him commit a felony! Once in prison, he'll be put on the transplant list, and system (a/k/a, your taxes) will take care of everything.

Sorry to be so grim. I just don't see why you should be weighted with obligation simply because you're related to him.

 

Yes, understand ALL that....................but you just never know.

The same thing can be said for all those that donate organs to people who need them and are waiting years for transplants.

The majority of those could be good or bad people, ya just never know what kind of impact this can have on a person. Especially if they are on their death bed (not saying Mike's Brother is), I am sure a transplant would certainly change their outlook on life.

I could be wrong of course and I am just sharing my opinion. I don't believe in the "what if's" when it comes to anything else but life or death situations.

Good to hear he has actually doing a lot better for himself.

I hope one day I never have to make a decision to share an organ with my Brother...................while I am alive at least. They can take anything they want when I am dead.

 

LOL! I'm a cold-blooded capitalist! I voted for Haliburton!

Well that's not very much of a reason at all. I think I should be awarded The Purple Heart simply because I have an uncle who was once in the service; doesn't mean I'm gonna get it, and it definitely doesn't mean I deserve it.

You're supposed to love him because he's family? Well why didn't he love you and your family and change his ways years ago?