gonna ask the g/f to marry me

your 23 and u wanna get married. not to sound rude or something, but i had a friend who got married when both were 20. they're 23 now, and divorced. quite bitter about it too....


if i were u, i'd stay with her 1st, say 2-3 years. see if both of u can work things out together. sharing and paying bills, doing household chores, etc. most ppl, get married too early and realise that they can't seem to live together without any misunderstandings.


so, hope u make a right decision, but IMHO, don't do it...it's still wayyy too early.

 

Just find some woman you hate and give her 1/2 of everything you own and your salary for the next 7 years.


A relative of mine who is a international airline pilot and grosses $10k per month has been paying $2500 a month alimony for the past 6 years and has 18 months more to go then a Ferrari for the first time.

Go find yourself a nice hot stripper and bang her for a while, they can be very talented in certain ways and are a lot of fun plus you will not want to marry one as they'll piss you off often enough you really wont like her.

 

Im turning 22 in a week. Ive dated my gf for 3 years. Shes the type who WANTS commitment and marriage...me..not so much. I do but i dont NEED it to feel as a relationship is solid. We've dropped the topic a few times and talked about it and it usually ends with some " I love You's " and me getting something she wants (nothing big just like some flowers, or that shirt shes been eyeing) and the topic goes away for a while. She knows when im ready, Ill be ready. Shes dated some, Ive dated alot more, I understand women (to the extent one can) and i know that 90% of them in a divorce would go after the the things you love the most... i Say shes made it 3 years so far with no ring 2 more wont hurt.

But your Young, If this is a high school sweetheart deal, I think you should take it slow until YOU enjoy life a little or at least realize you have what it is you want. Secondly dont get married if YOU dont want it, if its an appeasement thing it wont last. And if she brings it up alot, maybe she wants to know your still in the relationship with her, and not just cruising along.

If you do go for it...Like its been said make it something she/you can talk about for years. Last Piece of advice (Im a jeweler and always get the When do i do it question) DONT do it on any sort of holiday/birthday ..I know you want to make it special and a special occasion goes along good with it but dont. For legality sake if you give them the engagement ring on a holiday of any sorts they can claim it was part of their holiday gift, in which in the case of a divorce you are not entitled to it anymore. If you dont give it to her on a holiday and things go to the gutter you can at least get your ring back, flip it, and spend a weekend with the guys.

 

Wow. The very fact that there are b!tches out there who would try something like that makes me sick to the core.

 

1-Don't get married until you are 25-30 minimum..........

2-Get a solid career with a future and money in the bank..........

3-Bang at least 20+ women before you say I do to anyone.............this is the most important part of the cycle because once you've had some you'lll know if she is great....just good does not count when you are married. Also, your heart will have been broken a lot and you'll hopefully understand something about women by then.

Anyoner advising you to follow thru with your plans is unwittingly consigning you to the 50% stat that gets divorced. Even if they are a paper shredder.

 

Case closed.

 

Sorry to report that the statistics don't seem to follow this logic (I'm normally right there with you Ryan). Divorce rates have fallen off a bit since 1991 when it was almost half of the marriages in the US ended in Divorce. The last year that I can seem to find information on was 2004 when the divorce rate was about 37%. "About one in three, that's not bad" you say. Consider this:
-LS1LESS: You're 23 years old. Statistically those that get married between the ages of 20 and 25 have the highest divorce rate of any age group. The second highest group are those that are married before their 20th birthday. The group between the ages of 25 and 30 have the third highest rate of divorce but it is about half the rate of those that are married between their 20th and 25th birthdays. Divorce rates fall off from there, where the older you are when you enter the contract the less likely you are to end it.

I like a lot of the advice being offered to you. Don't rush into it (I mean damn 5 years ago you were at your high school prom), don't live together first (this will increase the odds that you divorce), see lots of stuff and lots of people (you don't have to bang lots of other women if it's not your thing, but it does add to the enjoyment ) and for God's sake if you want to buy something that costs lots of money do it while it is still your money cause it's a lot harder to buy a Ferrari when you are using the matrimonial money.

There was a comedian somewhere that once said that he's never going to marry again. He's just going to go out and find a woman that he hates and buy her a house.

 

Speaking from personal experience, I was with an ex-gf for over two years. We started dating when I was 22. We talked about marriage. A LOT. Do a search here - you'll see a thread I started asking about a good age for doing so. Almost everyone here told me I was too young (23 or 24 at the time, I forget).

Well... we're no longer together. In that short time she ended up being a different person than I was, and we grew apart. Had we been married, we definitely wouldn't have lasted.

There is no rush man. If she can't understand that, you're in for a rough ride anyway.

 

Not pertaining to marriage as much, but I feel that love isn't blind, it makes you blind.

 

If you're going into this with your eyes open, I can't see what the problem is. I'm surprised how many people are telling you that you are too young/inexperienced/whatever to get married yet. I'm 27 and unmarried, but I know couples who got married young and are still extremely happy together, whilst I know couples who got married late and hate each other and every possible variation in between - I even know one couple who have been married over 40 years who are getting divorced because the guy just had an affair - after 42 years of marriage he started an affair.

Everyone is different and what works for some people doesn't work for others. I won't give any advice on what you should base a decision whether to propose to a girl or not as I've never been with anyone I wanted to marry and so don't have the experience to back it up.

Back to your original question about ways to propose. The one thing I would suggest here is don't do it on her birthday. Not because of the legal argument given above, but because to my mind it shows a lack of originality. I just can't believe that girls like it when guys propose on their birthday, or any other day that already has some significance. Why? Because girls love dates - as in they love to remember dates. I don't mean any offence to your idea, but personally I'm unsure that it's the best one. However, you know your girl and I don't, so you'll know how my thoughts apply to your relationship.

Good luck. Hope she says yes!

 

amen to that !!!!!! at the very least 20........

 

I had a new one happen this weekend, keep in mind this girl was mid-late 20's. She told me the next morning that she's the first guy I've been with since her divorce. My reaction? A good laugh.

 

LOL LOL LOL LOL, you need to start posting pics of these throwbacks.

 

I don't personally agree with what you said. For us Catholics, we look at marriage in a whole different way. Its a commitment that you cherish for the rest of your life. Once you have given the promise, there's no more backing out.

As for being in a different race (Filipino), we have a culture of having a very strong family type. We support each other.. it doesn't matter if its a day of joy or a day of sorrow.

As long as both parties are willing to do their duty as what every married couple is supposed to do, a marriage will last.

 

dude, im catholic too, went to catholic school, church every sunday, confession on saturdays- no backing out ?? the rest of my life ??? screw that ho, if im not happy im bagging it and i ll deal with the pope.

 

I am a baddddddddddd man!!
Congrats on the marriage mate. I dont want to ever get married!
G/f's here and there are ok with me, but I dont think I really want to pull the trigger on marriage. But I probably will one day.........

 

My first marriage (I was 19) was to a loser.
20 years later (yes, I'm a slow learner), I bailed. It was painful and expensive, and worth EVERY damn penny--I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
No one should be forever saddled with a decision like marriage. Yet it underscores the critical need to be incredibly careful with your choice of mate--you HAVE TO CHOOSE A PARTNER not just someone who can cook a little bit, maybe make you laugh, and...well....ahem...

 

I really don't want to get started on Catholics, but there is quite a divorce rate there as well. It exists in all races, religions, or economic factors and I am very sure you don't speak for all Catholics. Nobody is above being unhappy because we don't seek it, sometimes it just happens and rather than be stuck with someone that makes us unhappy besides our best efforts, sometimes leaving is the only way that both can find happiness once again. It never starts that way, but even our best efforts can't stop somethings.

 

id rather choose the drunk chick at the bar for a partner. damn you were 19 and married for 20 yrs ????? that sucks.

 

The marriage had it's high points, and yeah, the divorce process sucked big time, but it was good in the long run.
Now, I've got as partner (a Calibrian woman) and it is like 'Keith! This is how it's supposed to be!'

 

jesus !!!! shes like you !!!! ????? im moving to CA and buying stock in the local liquor store

 

Thing is though, most of us are created due to marriage. So I'm not fighting this, it's the how early that I put into question.

 

This thread blows without pics...
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Yeah?