guys... i'm sad and lonely

Hi all,

I'm so lonely now. I can't find anyone around here in my age group who I can relate to. I'm 23. I feel so lonely not meeting anyone who shares my musical abilities/passion, my success, and has a good heart too... it's all just people who do'nt try hard enough, complimenting me and being happy for me.... and I give people around me so much in many ways because I want them to feel happy and free too somehow!! But I think it backfires and they eventually subconsciously resent me because they can't return the favors.

I have been so inspired by you guys and my business is doing very well. I have been mentoring two of my friends who are brother and sister, and their family is like mine so we're really close.. The brother basically gave up on online marketing today and decided to pursue dentistry. He did well was making 1k/day for a couple weeks... but then that died and he hasn't made any money for over a month. We were supposed to get CLS63's together and he was gonna get a 370z too and we'd go driving etc...

I just got a C63AMG last week and it's great but I didn't think of it being a stand-out car or anything.... then everywhere I go it's the nicest car in the lot. I feel ostentatious and separated. But i was separated before anyway from society because around here they're all wage workers whose only fun is drinking and partying.

It doesn't matter what I can buy for myself -it's only good if I have friends that can fully share that lifestyle and the joys and freedoms with me.... Nashville sucks...

Have any of you been in this situation before?

Thanks again for being an inspiration to me these past few years. I've been quiet most of the time but when I spoke you were helpful. I don't have an f-car yet so I haven't posted much.

-Ian

 

hang in there man.... things are never as bad as they seem... keep your head up and ears back and keep going... you'll be fine

 

Ditto^^^^

PM sent

 

Dude, you need to hang with me. Id have you having a blast in no time.
but hang in there, summer is almost upon us, chicks will be coming out of the woodwork with bikini tops on their boobies bulging outa their tops.
Ohhhhhhh man, i can smell the silicone now !!!!

 

LOL i don't think our lifestyles mesh that well. ahahahaa I'm more of a long term relationship guy... heck I grew up in the 2nd half of my life with a korean family most of the time... But I might try it out for a couple days.

 

Have you made it to the Cars and Coffee in Nashville? There a few guys there you could have a "Bromance" with.

Its the first Saturday of each month. Look up in the Tenn. section.

 

ahhhhhahaha @ "bromance"

I'd love to join the Cars and Coffee events and meet everyone. Also my turboed satin black Z is coming back in 1-2 weeks after 10 months of work in ATL and I'll bring my amg too. Nothing like your f-cars that scream

I'll check it out, thanks. As I knew would happen, you guys have been great help to me in your PMs and posts. I love f-chat. I joined years ago before I was successful because I wanted to surround myself with successful people somehow. Thanks again

 

I have 2 pieces of advice for you ----------












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It's lonely at the top, but hang in there and you'll be doing just fine.

PM sent!

 

Dude......... you've got a wife. And now shes standing right next to you........... OMG oooooo thats not Pretty lol. R.I.P John lol.















But seriously hang in there, things are looking up for you already with the cars & coffee stuff. I'm pretty much on my own here too but you just have to make the best of it.

 

I've been unemployed since January. It's really tuff to get a job here now. and yea, i feel like $h!t.

 

Smile. Others have it worse.

 

We've all been down in the dumps before, some of us have been lower than others but it still isn't a good place to be.

Work on thinking positive and eventually you'll see things positively. And start thinking about yourself some. You can give and give and give, but there's a point when you have to give to yourself.

 

sending you a PM

 

Thanks man. I am thinking 100% positive today. As Sir Enzo pointed out, I will be attending the next Cars and Coffee in April. I'm pretty sure I will have a blast and get to know some great people.

 

replied PM. thanks for the input!

 

Hmmm.... So you've discovered at a young age that material wealth and things bring only temporary happiness and rather than examine that you're looking for others to try to reinforce what's already a failed theory that these things will bring you happiness? You've been handed a good lesson at a young age. I suggest you learn from it. Otherwise you're doomed to repeat this same scenario for the rest of your life until you learn it.

Their only cars and things. They can be replaced and will be. Other things in life can't. I suggest you shift your focus to those.

 

what? I think my post must have confused you or something. That's totally not what this is about. My problem is that I can't find anyone who has goals, hobbies, and happiness. They all just struggle in college, party, drink, have no hobbies, etc.... so I can't relate to them.

I'm DEFINITELY not trying to get you guys to make me feel like material things can bring happiness. I don't understand where that came from. Thanks though for the tips as I know you've been through much in life.

 

probably came from you mentioning it so much

 

PH, I can empathize. The good folk of FerrariChat are rare, and are spread out across the country. It would be great to live in close proximity!

I think what you are trying to get across is the camaraderie, stimulating conversation and the "connection" that comes from like minds. I don't feel you are implying that greatness correlates with wealth. One of the better men I had a chance to be near, Carl Reiner, did not flaunt any wealth or success. He looked like the average person on the street, but he was colorful and thought provoking. One of the greatest women I've loved was from a small town in Kentucky (and had never even been on an airplane!)... but she was very wise, compassionate, understanding, exciting, etc...

Fitting in & connecting with like minds is a big thing psychologically.

Have you considered moving around the country? I have bumped into some cool people just by traveling or relocating temporarily.

Another thing that may help is to date more women. The more relationships I have been in, the less lonely I feel with all the voices in my head from crazy chicks...

 

Thanks mate.

 

Thread title reminds me of a song done by David Lee Roth...

 

i reread it and yep.... no kidding! sorry about that! I guess I am still too excited about the amg because I got it just a few days ago.

 

+1

Maybe you're not fully aware of what you've really been saying. Let's take a look...

Hey! Guess what?!? For your age this is a pretty standard feeling.

OK, now if you look at this on the surface it’s pretty non-materialistic until you begin to read between the lines. You want friends but you really only want ones that share the same passion for success and have the same “achievements” as you. I.E. attainment of wealth and things. Them simply being “happy for you” isn’t enough, even thought that alone shows that they’ve got good hearts, but apparently not in your book. No, it seems you would like friends that have good hearts and material success. While you say you give people around you “so much” I’m also inclined to believe that your giving is probably through the flexing of your financial muscle. Probably picking up the tab for dinner at a good restaurant, or for drinks on a night out. As they don’t have the same means as you they’re not able to reciprocate the favor. Thus the perceived feelings of resentment.

Now my above perceptions are beginning to be reinforced. You begin by telling us of your business and how well it’s been doing (nothing wrong with that, congratulations on your hard work). So, you’ve been mentoring two friends, brought them into your passion, online marketing, and when one of them decided it wasn’t for him you’ve become disappointed. Why? I need a good dentist. YOU need a good dentist. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a dentist, especially if that’s HIS passion. But, then if he does that you two wouldn’t be able to go buy and drive around in heavily depreciating assets which is what YOU want to do. The amount of money he was making is irrelevant to his or your happiness. The car he or you have is also irrelevant to his or happiness.

Ah, now the ego is talking which is at the center of yours (and everyone else’s for that matter) unhappiness. There’s enlightenment within this statement both for you and for me. First for yourself in realizing that the car you bought didn’t bring you the happiness you thought it would, it actually has contributed to your unhappiness. Why? Well you then give me my bit of enlightenment to your mental situation buy making a reference to self superiority and classism. “around here they’re all wage workers whose only fun is drinking and partying.” I live in L.A. and I can promise you there are plenty of people who’ve got a lot more money and cars than you and only fun is drinking and partying. Don’t be so elitist to think that’s simply for the “common” man. Vices are vices whether they’re C63AMG Mercedes or a case of Budweiser.

Next verse same as the first. Point of enlightenment only for it to be derailed by the ego, not wanting to make the hard examination of why material possessions aren’t any good, don’t bring the happiness you thought they would…. Ah wait!!!!! It’s not that they don’t bring happiness it’s just that you don’t have friends that also have the same things that you could share together!!!!! If only your friend had continued in internet marketing with you, dashed HIS dreams of becoming a dentist then you and he could tool around Nashville together in your cars, his purchase of which enforcing your perceptions and eliminating that feeling of being separated from society, because well you’re creating your own little society. A society that simply reinforces (by your own realization) a failed attempt at happiness through material possessions. Welcome to America. Madison Avenue loves you. You’ve bought into the big lie.

Yes.

Look Ian one of the wonderful things about FerrariChat is that no one really cares what you drive or how much money you have or what you look like. We’re all here because we’ve got a passion for cars, more specifically the Ferrari marquee. I’m just a regular guy who makes a regular wage and I get as much respect by the people here as someone like Napolis. Just because your friends don’t have the same income and means doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun with them, have conversations with them and share good times. You don’t need to own or have the means to buy a Picasso or a Matisse to discuss their relevance or which is “better” just as you don’t need to own or have the means to buy a 250GTO or a 288GTO to discuss their relevance or which is “better.” The same goes for AMGs or any other car or anything else. Which is probably what most of your friends are doing while they’re at parties getting drunk. That’s what I was doing at college. College, or rather the early twenties is usually a time of rebellion, of pushing against the system, a time that most people begin to reject the status quo and find their own way. Don’t feel slighted that your friend didn’t want to fallow in your footsteps. Everyone’s path through life is different and just because someone doesn’t have or endorses the same lifestyle as you doesn’t mean their view of life or way of life is in anyway inferior to yours.

You’ve made some profound observations but seem to be moving on a path that’ll only lead you back to where you’re at now. My advice to you would be chill out, stop living in the future, stop listening to that voice inside your head (the ego) that labels and compares and lives off of want and fear and start living in the moment. Stop paying for things for your friends. Pay just for yourself. They don’t seem to be impressed by it so why try to impress them? That’s just the ego having its way.

While the world needs captains of industry it needs the Lloyd Doblers of the world just as much.

 

Ditch the cars or hide them then go make some real friends.