He hasn't told her yet....

For some womem, Isnt it better to ask for forgiveness than permission?

Anyways, some women feel very insecure when their man has a sports car or any kind.

My XGF use to call me a playboy cause i liked Fcars and Robert Graham shirts...

 

Is she also able to buy toys of equal value? In fact can you both afford to purchase toys of equal value?

If that is the case then it is indeed equal, but I bet in many cases the automotive toys cost a lot of money and may restrict other budgets ...

What he said, and whether married or not it violates the relationship.

My wife and I have shared bank accounts ... if you don't then are you really making the most of the relationship?
Pete

 

Not sure that this has been discussed but I'm sure that a lot of guys don't want to pay the "wife tax"? You know, if I get X I'll have to buy her Y in exchange. So they just hide the toy/s and keep it on the down low until the cat's out of the bag. Either that or they just don't want anyone wrecking their little fun.

 

That's my point if the car represents a chunk of their savings than it should be a conversation prior.


It is different if one of the posters is correct and he's not married as its his choice but would now have me asking why does he have to hide the purchase.

 

The 'he gets X if she gets Y' of equal value thing makes sense if they both make the same money. Most often however, the guy is still the major bread winner in the household, so why should there be parity on how much they each spend on toys? And more than that, I would question the character of any woman that feels some compulsion to blow a bunch of money just because her husband or boyfriend did.

Maybe I'm just lucky...My wife and I have thoroughly separate accounts. When I bought a Ducati a few years ago, a new computer a year ago, and most recently quite a few tools for a house I'm also buying, she hasn't said a thing. And she's one heck of a cook too. I did pay for her college tuition for two years. She didn't even ask for that...

 

Well, I kind of did that - a friend of mine GAVE me a BMW back in Europe and I kept it for my wife who never actually ended up driving it as she took my "new" back then Expedition for her own driver since she had no interest in learning to drive a manual transmission car.

We ended up keeping the BMW for several years and it was a fun little car - sometimes I still miss it. We only got rid of it because it was too much to fix for the Belgian annual inspection.




PDG

 

It is possible I am reading more into this situation and just projecting my own crap onto it, but here goes...

I assume he is not by nature a devious or deceiptful person, so the act of hiding a major purchase wouldn't be a course of action he would naturally undertake. So there must be a reason why he chose to do it. Is he worried about her flipping out and cutting off the VJJ for him? Breaking off the engagement (no doubt keeping the M-B)? Will she demand another toy of equal value that will be all hers? Will he hear about how he lied to her about the Ferrari for the rest of his life?

If the answer to any of these questions is any version of "yes", he really needs to evaluate whether he should marry her or not. I assume since "they" bought a Mercedes for her she couldn't do it on her own, meaning he is subsidizing her lifestyle. In my experience this only gets worse as time goes on in the marriage. As a guy that has now bought a BMW, a Porsche, and four new Mercedes to keep their wife satisfied I can tell you that if they are not giving people, you giving to them doesn't help the situation.

Again, this might be my own baggage talking, but if his fiance' is already expecting expensive "gifts" like an M-B, while at the same time he fears her wrath if he spends his own money to replace a toy he recently sold...I've been (hell, still am) where this guy is headed and it is a sad, sad place.

At this point in a relatonship before marriage, both parties should be all about the happiness of the other party, to the point of sacrificing their own happiness. He agreed to sell his Porsche toy to buy the Ferrari. He did. He shouldn't have to hide it and she should be happy to see him happy. Apprently that isn't the case and should be a huge red flag.

 

I am surprised by the number of responses implying deceit in the marriage because he wanted to keep the car a secret for a while. Sometimes timing is important.

I do earn more money than my wife and we keep entirely separate finances. Our marriage works better that way. We have been married 22 years and have three successful (up to this point) children. We are both happy with our marriage and plan on staying married. My wife works hard outside the house and hard at home. I work all the time and rarely take time to relax (spending time on FChat is my number one source of down time). If I am not working at work, I am working at home on projects and I do enjoy working on old cars. The problem is that I may end up buying two or three in a short time period when something I am looking for appears. When I buy these old cars, my wife thinks it is fair to get a similar amount of money to spend on herself. I see her point to some extent. My wife doesn’t like clutter, particularly a non-running car in the driveway, and it may take me a while to create an empty space in the garage by disassembling a parts car, for example. My wife prefers that I tinker with more modern cars. She has been encouraging me to buy an F360. I may do it next year, after I make additional space in the garage.

 

I'll probably be doing this next year. The lady isn't to fond of me on two wheels!

 

she's done some risk analysis and placed a value on your old hide to her... it could be a good thing... no reason to find fault there :=)

 

A buddy upgraded his yellow 360 for a yellow 430 and never told his wife, she found out 2 years later at our Christmas party when she overheard him bragging about it.

 

Makes me glad I am not married and still the master of 'My Pair'.

 

Since family financing comes up, I'll contribute 2 cents because our system seems to work out great for everyone.

My wife and I put all of our regular income into a shared account that pays all the bills. We each get an allowance and a car fund ($600/mth). You can do whatever you want with it.

Any money earned outside our basic paycheck (bonus, overtime, 2nd job, etc) belongs to the earner any they can do whatever the hell they want with it (I guess excluding prostitutes). So I'm using my car slot and all my extra earning to feed my car habit.

After 30 years, I can say we've never had a money arguement....sex....another issue.

 

Hilarious!!! Details, schmeetails... hey it's yellow, isn't it?

 

LOL this got me going pretty good at work.

 

please allow me to interject gentlemen... If you are indeed hiding something from your SO and haven't had your circulating testosterone levels checked, might I be the first to reccomend you do so

secondly, if it is for reasons other than shriveled up testicles that more resemble old raisins than spermatozoa producing balls. I would say, don't hide anything...so long as she....doesn't hide anything like her real age without makeup, and # of sexual partners before she met you ( and yes, fellatio DOES count)


I shudder to do the math as explained in this rudimentary chart if my wife had not been virginal prior to my ravishment of her.
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