Help Cheering Up 12 Yr old Daughter please!!

Gymnastics is an individual sport... Golf? Did you know that a 12 y/o qualified for the LPGA open?

Non athletic I know, but what about a musical instrument?

 

What about basketball? You can practice dribbling and shooting skills on your own to improve. Volleyball kind of requires another person to practice...

 

Jerry,

Sorry to hear this.......

Let me tell you as an avid sports guy who played football, ran track, plays tennis, basketball, was a windsurfing instructor, etc, etc.... Volleyball is not an easy sport to pick up if you are not athletic. I was a beach volleyball player and played doubles B / BB in tournaments. She selected a very tough sport. Unless she is willing to put in the practice time she will get discouraged. It takes eating and sleeping and tossing and tossing that ball all the time to become good.

In my opinion, she needs to focus on the basics of agility before even thinking of sports. She should work with a personal trainer to build up her specific needs and develop her hand-eye coordination. How is she at just tossing a ball and catching it? That is a basic training tool that she could use to increase her skills and, I'm guessing, lack of confidence.

Try to find someone local that is willing to work with her one on one for training before she gets deflated going into a sports program.

I remember when I was showing my wife basic aerobic steps and she got discouraged easily. Now she looks like an aerobic instructor. Your daughter needs work on her fundamentals. It's a great age for her to be working on these.

Let me know if I can help. I was studying personal training back in college and have just started researching certification programs again just for fun and to continue education ....how timely.

Lastly - Just like anyone working out...... you can not expect results immediately. You have to measure month by month - not day by day.

 

How about badminton, it's easier than tennis and can be played in the back yard. Has she tried softball?

If she's clumsy and can't coordinate well perhaps a check up is in order.

Also how about cycling/ mountain biking? Perhaps a dance class can involve her like a spot and it may help with balance, footing and coordination.

Other than sports mentioned or sports where you collide, I don't have much else to offer.

 

Oh man, I went through that phase. My parents kept pushing me to do different things, but quite frankly I was happy being at home and watching TV. Sometimes, some people enjoy being relaxed than always just wasting energy you know. That's why I never really enjoyed any of the forceful activities I had to. Either left them half way, or just wasn't enthusiast about them.

I think you should let her be, otherwise her self confident could be in trouble which is the last thing you want from a girl. Just let her be happy and enjoy her time at home or school as she attends. Also I don't know if you are trying to get her to be active so her health/weights the same you can just watch what she eats. 90% of diets are what you eat, the 10% is the exercise part.

 

Sorry, but I can't let this go..........bad, bad, bad advice, IMO
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Jerry, does she have a sports person she look up to?

 

A tetherball set in the backyard might help. It basically is a volleyball on a rope tied to the top of a pole. She can practice hitting the ball both softly and with some force.

It will improve her ball striking ability and general skill in understanding how a spherical object reacts to certain hits (off-center, high, low, left, right, etc.). If she plays tetherball against another person, it will improve her reaction times and hand/eye coordination.

Just an idea.

 

What about swimming ?

 

My now 13 year old daughter had the same thing happen...she was terrible in soccer, softball and gymnastics...but, at age 11 I bought her a 14.2 hand pony and got her into Hunter-Jumper competition...well, she finished 3rd in the State of Georgia and 23rd in the USA for 2006 and is now competing on her third horse,a 16.4 hand Danish Warmblood horse looking to do better this season. While it is an expensive activity, it has taught her confidence, self reliance, work ethic and she will likely get a college scholarship out of it making it money well spent. Carry her to a few local Hunter Jumper events and talk to trainers about getting her involved...you can lease a horse for the first year to be sure she likes it...good luck. www.mhja.org http://www.hunterjumpernews.com/?cat=145

 

Golf is what I was thinking

 

What about martial arts? She can build a foundation of skills that will help her in a wide range of sports down the road. She'll learn balance, coordination, flexibility, strength and self-discipline.

 

I was (am) clumsy and unathletic. Never did any sports in high school, and sucked at everything we played in gym.

Eventually got into running. I even signed up to run x-country/track in college (Div III school). It helped, but you know, at every race there is that guy that finishes last. That was me... Ocassionally, in the really big races, I would finish midpack.

Regardless, I still had fun hanging out with the guys, and most on the team appreciated that I was making the practices and trying my best. They welcomed me at all team events, and I actually felt like a "jock".

The individual sports (like running, swimming, etc) may be better than a team sport like volleyball, baseball, etc. Even if you are clumsy, etc., you can go out and have fun with them. You may not score points for the team, but that is OK as long as you are giving your best.

Dom

 

Unless you drive in F1 then you're a has been or never was.

Hint: Don't sign your daughter up for F1, it's not good for the spirit.

 

Fencing.
(Martial arts also a good suggestion)
My own daughters will benefit from no less.

 

My daughter is definitely not a gifted athlete. She too tried many sports but without much sucess, though she's not bad at tennis. She decided she wanted singing lessons. She was very mediocre at first but now she's doing solo's in front of her entire school. She started the lessons at 12 and is now going on 14. The singing has really improved her self confidence. I'm sure your daughter is very talented it's just a case of finding the right activity. Best of luck.

 

Not everyone is good at everything. Each child shows a proclivity towards doing something well, and thats what needs to be nurtured. Most ineptness can be gotten rid off with practice, but it might be easier to drive her towards something she is naturally good at.

I have twin boys, 5 years old. Identical. Yet, they are very different in their skills.

One, loves to read, ice skate, write. Loves to draw, paint, play the piano.

Other, loves tae kwon do, wrestling, racing radio control cars, etc. He is just more athlethic and coordinated.

We send both kids to the same activities, and actively encourage both. But the differences in what they like, and excel at...are very different. I suspect when they get older, they will have very different hobbies. I can try to push them both in the same directions, but why?

Encouraging athletics in your daughter is a great idea, but find something she is naturally good at. Did you try dance? Piano? Martial arts? Running?

 

My daughter, who is 13, has been taking piano lessons for quite a while now, and recently started singing lessons. Music can be enjoyable and satisfying.

Maybe an art class if music isn't her thing.

 

My wife and I went to see our 11-year old granddaughter at her volleyball game. Some of the girls were really good, some of them were really, really, BAD. But what impressed me was the level of sportsmanship that I saw in those little girls - I wouldn't have expected that. They NEVER said a bad word or laughed when someone flubbed a shot, they never complained when the ball wasn't passed to them, they didn't argue the calls, no one cried and gave up. If your girl's team/league is like this, then she should be OK as long as she isn't too hard on herself.

 

I highly recommend Martial Arts. I was horrible at pretty much every team sport I tried, baseball, basketball, too small to try football. Always liked martial arts so my parents finally put me in it when I was about 8 or 9. Not to toot my own horn, but I was freaking good. Ranked in the top ten two years in a row, earned my 2nd degree black belt, etc. Tons of trophies, ended up stopping cause I was getting bored with certain things. But it would be a good try.

 

I feel sorry for your kid. Maybe she's not really cut out for team stuff. It's important that she keep active though. What's she good at?(doesn't have to be an athletic thing) Maybe something can spin off from that? IMO it sounds like her confidence is a bit shattered so she's going into this stuff thinking she can't do it. She needs to work her way up and feel confident doing it. Good luck finding that something.

 

Jerrari, as you indicated, she wants to be an athlete of some description, without pressure from you.

Does she like running?

 

Music. Either a band instrument or guitar.
If I could do it anyone can. It's a nice group of people usually.

Martial arts is also very confidence building. Our only daughter did it for several years around your daughter's age; it really is very defined progression thing and at least in the American Taekwondo Assn. (ATA) school we were in, they really help each student a lot. Lots of self confidence and maturity are a wonderful side benefit to fellowship and acceptance in a group.

Good luck - I know how you feel.