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How can I justify a Ferrari to my wife.

Discussion in 'Ferrari Discussion (not model specific)' started by Simon99, Jan 4, 2021.

  1. GTHill

    GTHill Moderator
    Moderator Rossa Subscribed Social Subscribed Owner

    Jul 1, 2006
    10,110
    Double Wide
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    GT Hill
    I logged into FerrariChat the day my mom died. She was a huge Magnum / Tom Selleck fan and for whatever reason I thought about that on that day. I had my 328 45 days later. So... guilt and sympathy maybe works? :)
     
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  3. ssgharkness020147

    ssgharkness020147 Formula Junior
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    Jun 12, 2006
    300
    Midwest
    I waited until the transfer of funds had cleared before I said anything to my girlfriend of 6 years that I bought my 488. A couple of months later I bought a new house for us without telling her. I’d just buy the damn thing. Not because asking for forgiveness is easier, but because you want the car. You live once, enjoy yourself a little while you’re on this green and blue dot called earth.
     
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  4. nickorette

    nickorette Karting
    Silver Subscribed

    Jun 19, 2017
    200
    Toronto
    I guess it kind of depends on your relationship dynamic. I'm fortunate in a lot of ways, partially because I'm able to acquire my dream garage before marriage. That being said I include my girlfriend of nearly 3 years (future wife) in a lot of the exotic car lifestyle. We go for drives in countryside together on the weekends, go out for dinner and dates with the cars, weekend getaways to resorts and boutique hotels. I get her to drive sometimes as well. She loves it.

    She knows I'm obsessed with cars and they mean a lot to me so I also include her in my thoughts about new acquisitions, specing new cars, etc. I can also let my excitement about something new and interesting cloud my judgement so I have found her opinions on things to be quite valuable. I think including her has a positive benefit because it's something we can share together.

    In my experience with relationships being confident, honest and up front in what you want goes much further then closed doors and secrets. I think being secretive about the thought process or just buying it and saying "divorce me if you don't like it" would make any partner not like the idea or be cold to it, especially if it's something she's been left out of since the start.
     
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  5. Lotusexige

    Lotusexige Rookie

    Oct 26, 2018
    7
    Full Name:
    Stephen Thompson
    I have a Lotus Exige S1, it’s doubled in value in the 13 years I have owned it. My wife is not a fan: too noisy, too hot and too uncomfortable. I am also lucky enough to own an Audi Rs4 Avant. Today I found it needs suspension work which will cost £2,500 ($1,800?). I was apprehensive about how the wife would take that news, having spent £1,800 on new brake discs early last year. But, although she is “careful” with money, she said go ahead. We just look around us and see so many friends, acquaintances and others dying with money in the bank. I volunteered to pass on buying another cycle but she said Go ahead. So, buy your Ferrari before it’s too late. Best of luck from the Uk
     
  6. Rick Weston

    Rick Weston Karting

    Mar 6, 2019
    53
    Full Name:
    Richard Weston
    Because life is short and should be full of pleasure. Don't tell her it's a financial investment, tell her it's an investment in enjoying the good things in life you have worked for. Take her cool places in it. Have her get dressed up and take her to a nice restaurant, they will park your Ferrari in front and she will make both a grand entrance and exit. Her Prince Charming and his Italian chariot....
     
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  8. Jhobrien

    Jhobrien Rookie

    Sep 10, 2018
    18
    Full Name:
    J O’Brien
    This is stated in a transactional way. Its about enjoying life as it comes to us. You never know what's around the corner. I went through the same thing - bought a California in 2010 and thought that was it. Wife drove it a lot and loved it, no room in the garage for another. This year she decided we could get a lift and now we have a Portofino.

    Really healthy for a long time and then out of nowhere throat cancer. Got it fixed, and considered it was a tap on the shoulder from above to remind me we are all mortals.

    If you can afford it, and enjoy it, then do it. Both sides have to be happy for a relationship to work, and none of these cars depreciate to zero. A Ferrari is for fun and enjoyment of life. There are zero times I don't smile when I am in the garage and looking at them. We take them to the grocery stores, hardware stores, short drives to nowhere, long drives with the FCA and lots of friends who never have ridden in one and want a go.

    Let my kids take them out for a day and have fun, and never regret a minute of it. Hope it works out for you.

    Hope it works out for you.
     
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  9. MrAwilson

    MrAwilson Rookie

    Jan 23, 2019
    4
    Michigan
    Full Name:
    Aaron Wilson
    Buying a Ferrari usually isn’t done because it makes financial sense (of course there are exceptions). The purchase is usually made due to the “feel” the car gives you. The same can be true to why many people get married; it’s (usually) not the money, but the “feel” they get from the other person. If we can’t be passionate about something then what are we here for? Having the money is nice, but being able to enjoy it is better.
    Good Luck


    I have the means to own a 328. The challenge is my dear wife. She is thrifty. Doesn't spend money unnecessarily. Doesn't engage in indulgences. She is all about family. She is incredible. As much as I try to lower the bar, she keeps me honest. Mostly. She does spend a bit of time shaking her head walking away muttering "Low Expectations."

    I have made a few purchases in my life where she hasn't exactly approved, but run with it. It's the old saying, "It is easier to be forgiven than to get permission." However, she has fired a shot over the bow at some things. For example, I have played over the years with the idea of owning a plane. I am a pilot. And I have flown my wife many places, which has been a priviledge. But I have always rented a plane. When I suggested buying a plane, she said "Sure, but not with me." Now she does has a sense of humour, but was giving me the thousand yard stare with that one.

    Saying "It's not a plane" isn't going to cut it. I need justification that will cut the leather. "Investment" would be marginal. Owning one would not change our lifestyle. Still, that is not exactly the point. I need a strategy and if a reasonable one cannot be found, maybe I just have to settle for not being a Ferrari owner.

    I have a little time to sort it out. My family is stuck on the other side of the globe due to Australia locking the doors to the rest of the world. I probably have 9 months until they are back...[/QUOTE]
     
  10. mhawke

    mhawke Rookie

    Mar 24, 2019
    1
    Full Name:
    Michael Hawke
    I'm a Ferrari Chat lurker. I don't own one (yet) but am fascinated by all things automotive. I am not a 'man of means' so some things need to wait.
    In 1991, I attended a local car show and saw the newly-introduced Acura NSX literally up on a pedestal. This was pre-internet so it came as a complete surprise to my senses. I was gob-smacked and couldn't stop thinking about it. Even weeks later, my wife could tell I was still obsessed with this thing and she finally broached the idea of purchasing one. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that I didn't want to even go and test drive one if she wasn't serious. If I bought one, I never wanted to hear about it for the rest of our lives. I didn't want any distractions or regrets to get in the way of loving that car. She agreed and 6 months later, my black/black NSX arrived. For the next 29 years, she has kept her promise and put up with my obsession; only occasionally referring it as a 'souped up Camaro' LOL. She had no real interest in high performance cars but then one day, my daughter made a casual, off-hand remark to my wife, a very frugal farm-girl at heart, that she didn't have any really nice things. She pointed to my wife that my NSX is something 'nice' that I own but that my wife's possessions were mostly 'pedestrian'. Well, that triggered something in my wife. Suddenly, we're looking at new kitchens and renovations and upgrades we don't really 'need' in our simple life right now. Then one evening, on a whim, I emailed her a link to a Porsche Boxster at a pretty great price and suggested she could buy it and sell it later for what she paid for it just for a summer of fun. She immediately replied with a link of her own to a BMW Z4 35is at a GREAT price saying, nope, she had found her summer convertible (it was a one-day misprint of the price that the dealership ended up honouring to us). She arranged delivery and her car arrived, delivered to our driveway a few weeks later. Well, now she's hooked. She was nervous to drive it at first but after she finally took that car out on an empty country road and put her foot to the floor one time, she came back home actually giddy with pride and joy. I don't drive her car and she doesn't drive mine but she will, forever now, allow me to dream about owning a Ferrari. Our two cars are now stored side-by-side waiting for spring to spring.

    Moral to this story? Get someone else to talk your wife into it. Then it's HER idea and not yours.
     
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  11. fogcitybrit

    fogcitybrit Rookie

    Mar 14, 2015
    15
    San Francisco
    I would suggest spending about two years painstakingly researching and searching for the exact specification of the Ferrari that you want. Make sure you explain the difference between carbon bucket seats v. Daytonas in excruciating detail. Wax endlessly about the different shades of Grigio and how some show the lines of the car better. Mention that the LEDs on the steering wheel are a critical drivers aid (and are not just to appeal to our inner 8 year old). . . . . by the time you have finished this process, your wife will be begging you to buy the car and shut up. It worked for me. Godspeed.
     
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  13. SingleClutch

    SingleClutch Karting
    Silver Subscribed

    Apr 19, 2019
    110
    Seattle
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    Kris
    Buy it. Drive it. Be happy. It’s your life too.


    Fly fast and take chances
     
  14. kahrl

    kahrl Rookie
    Rossa Subscribed

    Sep 19, 2009
    45
    Hudson, Ohio
    Full Name:
    Bob Kahrl
    As a marriage counselor, I would advise you that your wife needs to be educated on a basic principle of marriage, which is: "Boys must have their toys." All her toys are the expenditures she makes on the family. She wants you to accept her values as her own. But men have different motivations than women do. Men are warriors, not nurturers. This fundamental difference is hard-wired into our brains from the most primitive times. Men are into adventures and dangers. Women are into relationships. So you see planes and cars as part of the adventures of living. But she sees no use for these in fostering relationships. You will never convince her that adventures are more important than relationships, but you can point out that you have different fundamental motivations than she does, and then act on your motivations.
     
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  15. Montgomery Kersten

    Oct 30, 2020
    5
    Full Name:
    J M Kersten
    Of all the Ferraris I have bought (5) sir, I never asked my wife's permission. That just get's you two whacks ("I told you not to! And you did it!.")

    Starting in the 90's I bought my first: a '72 365 GTC/4 which my former wife never would ride in (she didn't like the exhaust and the roar of 6 twin choke sidedraft webers into what many claim the best Ferrari song ever created through that sister to the Daytona's ideal exhaust and open throat). I bought a new 550 but she also felt it too extravagent.

    Sadly I had to finally sell the 72 C/4 car cuz my (next) wife witnessed the clutch cable break, once, twice, and then a third time (a well-know design defect in what was one of the "heaviest" clutch trannys Ferrari ever put on the GT market -- too sharp a bend that metal friction in the aircraft cable still frayed and snapped -- I carried two spares of it in the capacious trunk). She said: "it or me, goes." I sold it via Hemmings to a chap in Britain.

    Now with a 550, a 599 and 812, I never told my lady I was buying them. I just did. For cash of course (never buy an exotic on "time" for debt).

    So, AFTER you buy your 328 (great car) or whatever, just tell her. Explain far cheaper than a new exotic . . . and say: "I'm one day closer to death every day; don't you want me to enjoy driving everywhere I travel, if even to the grocery store? It really does not cost much more if anymore. . . ."

    Then, buy her a used California (I presented my wife with a new 2010 California, in Red and California, with the car seats you can buy from Modena (match the interior perfectly!), in which she drove our sons to school until they got too big~! Then she will support your decision. My baby has 58,000 miles from new and welcomes me buying another.

    You only live once~! Ferrari's make the hours per week you spend on the road, HEAVEN!

    MK
     
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  16. JanStuart

    JanStuart Rookie

    Mar 20, 2019
    38
    Sarasota Florida
    Full Name:
    Jan Sirota
    My License Plate says: GRT WIFE
     
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  17. Larsoni

    Larsoni Rookie

    Feb 12, 2020
    15
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    Curtis A. Larson
    Having Alfas for a half century failed to sway my wife (who is of Italian heritage) when in passing, having sold the '69 Duetto, I let it drop that I was looking at Ferraris. Ka-Boom! NO!!!! Now, both my 99 y/o mother-in-law and her daughter have this Italianate negative reflex...perhaps genetic, perhaps to compensate for the positive culinary one. Having learned from experience to not react, but continue planning...quite some time later, I mentioned that I was looking at a 612 Scaglietti, color Grigio Ingrid; related the perhaps apocryphal story behind the coachbuilder and paint names and bought it a year ago. Nicknamed "Inge", she provides a ready subject for gibes directed at yours truly.
     
  18. spirot

    spirot F1 World Champ
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    Dec 12, 2005
    13,056
    Atlanta
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    Tom Spiro
    Life is short. both my parents passed in 2020. both of them told me to enjoy the time you have because before you know it, its gone. It would be irresponsible to buy a Ferrari - and not make the mortgage or other needed obligations. However if it means taking $1k a month to enjoy life ... vs investing that money for a longer term purpose that you may or may not be here for... buy the car, enjoy life. its not permanent you can sell it .... have the life experience. There are no do overs.
     
  19. Fiorano 550

    Fiorano 550 Rookie

    Dec 18, 2012
    20
    A Ferrari can easily be your ticket to new experiences. Join the Ferrari Club take her to some of the outings and meet some people. My first Ferrari, a 550 cost me $250/month net after all expenses over 6 years, except gas were computed and the car was sold. Not much for a tremendous car and loads of fun. Now I drive a 488 GTB, one is not enough! My wife decided she wanted in on the fun ended up buying a Cali T. You never know.
     
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  20. KMP_308

    KMP_308 Rookie

    Jun 19, 2019
    1
    Full Name:
    Keith Kelly
    Several years ago, I purchased a very low mileage 308 from a long time racing friend of mine who was getting up in years and could not drive anymore. I left the car in one of the bays of his garage for two years until he passed away at which point I was forced to take possession. I mentioned to my wife that I knew how much she like Tom Selleck and that while I was no Tom Selleck, we now owned a car like he drove in Magnum PI. My wife is also the frugal type, but she said she would rather I have an Italian girl friend in the garage to keep my German girl friend company, than have an Italian girlfriend at the office. After 36 years of marriage, she still manages to surprise me......
     
  21. spirot

    spirot F1 World Champ
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    Dec 12, 2005
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    Tom Spiro
    good points - her relationship with you is dependent on your adventures, which makes good relationships with her......

    one last Thought - bring her to an FCA event. It will be difficult with COVID - but perhaps a coffee and cars outside - where you can social distance and be safe and still meet members. reach out to the club state director and see which event you can attend - and where there are the most wives attending. For the girls making social connections is a huge plus. .when the girls connect - its super easy to have a Ferrari.... the car will melt into 2nd position for her as she meets friends.... ( this can backfire if its all guys... )
     
  22. czlandi

    czlandi Karting

    Jun 20, 2019
    54
    United Kingdom
    Full Name:
    Christopher
    I bought an 812 last year, my third Ferrari. In December I was made redundant from my job of 20 years. There is never a day when I think to sell it. We have only one life and I intend, and make a point of, living it to the max. I have worked for a number of very unhappy billionaires who never enjoyed a day. If you have the means, why would your wife deprive you of one of the only fun things left that is legal? I thought mine would object. I was wrong. She has a habit to take the keys when I’m not around....
     
  23. sutats

    sutats Rookie

    May 14, 2010
    1
    Everytime I read about circumstances like this I can feel the lack of a loving vibe and freedom in the relationship and the situation is akin to living like a bird with clipped wings. Make a decision to be in a relationship with a loving and supporting spouse who likes to see and make you happy. Don't live a humdrum life and in a humdrum relationship. Enjoy life!
     
  24. Ferrar55whoa

    Ferrar55whoa Formula Junior
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    Dec 21, 2005
    578
    Los Gatos, CA
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    Eric
    @fogcitybrit You are hilarious, doing the same thing on this end!

    I told my wife in 2001 at the end of our walk from my job at the Pyramid to corporate housing (telegraph hill) when we saw the first blu TdF Maranello....and I told her someday I was going to have one.... COVID and mortality re-lit the fire for me and she is already getting "gassed out" with all my search related minutia!
     
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  25. DMWC

    DMWC Formula 3

    Jan 23, 2013
    1,344
    Sydney Australia
    Full Name:
    David C
    Hi Simon,

    Carl888 played a significant part in helping me search for and purchase my first Ferrari a few years ago (1985 308 GTSi Qv)

    When I thought I had located the car of my dreams i broached the subject with my wife of purchasing myself a 50th birthday present, and her response was "if you think we can afford it then you can buy it as long as you promise to never tell me or the kids how much it cost"

    I love my car and drove it on more than 50 occasions last year including a track day with my son.

    As the Nike ad says "Just Do It"
     

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  26. 6t7

    6t7 Karting

    Aug 19, 2012
    172
    Oz
    Full Name:
    Brett
    A wise friend said to me ‘Sometimes it’s easier to seek forgiveness than permission’
     
  27. Ferrar55whoa

    Ferrar55whoa Formula Junior
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    Dec 21, 2005
    578
    Los Gatos, CA
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    Eric
    #124 Ferrar55whoa, Jan 7, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2021
    @Montgomery Kersten glad to see you on here now after all the value added comments you had made over on BaT at the 550 auctions. Your experiences and continental-european-mileage-level on your 550 is really neat.
     
  28. khurley

    khurley Rookie

    Aug 31, 2004
    18
    Berkeley CA
    Full Name:
    Kevin Hurley
    Before I bought my first Ferrari (a 308 GTS QV) many years back, I bought my wife a brand new Infiniti G35. She loved it! And still does. After that, she said she understood why people can love their cars. Since then, I've sold the 308 and bought an F430 without any fuss at all. Of course, I should mention that I had wanted a Ferrari since I was 16, and I was 60-something when I bought the 308, so it didn't exactly come as a mid-life crisis.
     

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