HOW TO GET TO HEAVEN WHEN YOU DIE

http://www.venganza.org/

ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A HUNGRY AND IN NEED OF SOME DINNER:

Ro 3:23 "For all are hungry, and come short of the glory of flying spaghetti monster;"

Ro 3:10 "As it is written, There is none full of pasta, no, not one:"

This all began with the story of Adam and Steve in the garden of Lasagna. flying spaghetti monster created them perfect, there was no death or sorrow. flying spaghetti monster told them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They disobeyed flying spaghetti monster and as a result, hunger entered into the world. The pain which this world sees is the result of not eating enough pasta.

2. BECAUSE OF OUR HUNGER FOR PASTA, WE DIE BOTH SPIRITUALLY AND PHYSICALLY, BUT flying spaghetti monster SENT HIS SON TO TAKE OUR PUNISHMENT AND GIVE US A CHANCE NOT TO HAVE TO GO TO HELL.

Ro 6:23 "For the wages of starvation is death; but the gift of flying spaghetti monster is eternal life through the almighty top ramen our Lord."

Ro 5:8 "But flying spaghetti monster commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet hungry, ramen died for us."

Every person who has ever lived is a hungry person and is not righteous because we do bad things. A hungeris a crime against flying spaghetti monster, just as if you steal something at the store, it is punishable by going to jail. It's the same thing with sin. Even if we lie one time, the punishment is hell, which is a prison for those who commit crimes against flying spaghetti monster. No matter how well you live your life from then on, you have already committed a hungerwhich will be punished if you are not pardoned. If you commit a crime, and then live as a good citizen you still will go to jail for the crime you committed. Right? Just as the president can pardon a crime so you won't go to jail, the almighty pastafarian can pardon your sins so that you do not go to hell, and can go to heaven when you die.

3. IF WE WILL ACCEPT the almighty pastafarian ramen AS OUR LORD WITH OUR MOUTHS AND BELIEVE IN OUR HEARTS THAT HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD, BY DOING THIS WE ARE RECEIVING HIM:

Ro 10:9,10 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord the almighty pastafarian, and shalt believe in thine heart that flying spaghetti monster hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."

Joh 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of flying spaghetti monster, even to them that believe on his name: {power: or, the right, or, privilege}
(KJV)

You cannot get to heaven by being a good person, going to church, baptism or any other way other than by turning to the almighty pastafarian and asking Him to forgive you for your sins and save you. While these are good things to do, some people believe that they will get to heaven if they do these things, but the bible says that there is only one way to heaven and that is through receiving what the almighty pastafarian ramen did on the noodle strainer for you.

Will you do that today? If you will, you can be 100% sure that you will go to heaven when you die.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT the almighty pastafarian ramen DIED ON THE noodle strainer AND ROSE FROM THE DEAD FOR YOUR SINS? DO YOU ACCEPT WHAT HE DID FOR YOU TO PAY FOR YOUR SINS?

4. If you are willing to receive the almighty pastafarian ramen as your Lord and Savior please pray this right now, from your heart to flying spaghetti monster,

"Dear LORD the almighty pastafarian, I believe that YOU died on the noodle strainer and Rose from the dead for my sins. I ask you to come into my heart and forgive me for my sins, take me to heaven when I die. I now receive You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving me. In the almighty pastafarian holy name, Amen."

If you prayed that prayer from your heart to flying spaghetti monster, and meant it with all of your heart, you are now a child of flying spaghetti monster and will go to heaven when you die.

Now that you are on your way to heaven, you should go to the olive garden and get the meatball lasagna special.
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The question I really want you to consider is if Jesus were so powerful why would he need to spam internet forums looking for followers? And why wouldn't he just go by "Jesus" rather than a silly made up name from a movie? I urge you to instead consider the gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and allow him to touch your life with his noodly appendage!

Can I get a rAMEN from the congregation?