HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT > > 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN." > > 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY > APPRECIATIVE." > > 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE." > > 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE > INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY." > > 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED > COMPANION." > > 6. She is not an "AIR HEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED." > > 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY > INCONVENIENCED." > > 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED." > > 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE." > > 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED." > > 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY > SUPERIOR." > > 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER." > > > > > HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: > > 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN > STORAGE FACILITY." > > 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN." > > 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE > DESTINATIONS." > > 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION." > > 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL > RELATIONSHIPS." > > 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY > HORIZONTAL." > > > 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL- > CRANIAL INVERSION." > > 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY." > > 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED." > > 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED." > > 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR > CLEAVAGE." > >
