I need help...protecting my sister

you want me to kick this girls arse???

j/k-seriously though...have you talked to your sister about it-that could be all it would take.

But on the other hand...your sister is young-shes just having some fun.

Good luck,
Jess

 

Send me nude pics of your sister. It will help me evaluate exactly how to help her best. Trust me, I'm experienced in this field.

 

Sounds like your sister is at a critical point in her life. It doesn't seem like there's much you can do if she's choosing to hang around a bad crowd. What do your parents have to say about it? If your sister has respect for herself and self esteem she probably wouldn't choose this path. If she's a good student and involved she may grow out of it. Keep an eye on her and an intervention of sorts may be in order if you see her slipping more. Good luck.

 

Dude, get a grip. Your sister is 21 which, by any book, is 3 years past adulthood. My sister tried to kill herself by swallowing a few dozen Xanax. That called for an intervention. Hanging out with a whorey friend doesn't really cut it and is kind of an insult. It's sweet that you care about your sis, but you gotta relax and accept that she's gonna screw a few dudes. You can't control her life--she's not a high schooler.

 

I've had friends like this. Sadly something has to happen to them to make them want to choose better friends and make different decisions. She will never change because you want her to. She has to do it for herself. She is happy with this right now or she would have started doing something different. Once she isn't happy with it she will want to change things. If you are constantly pressuring her in a certain direction she will go the other way just to piss you off so you have to let her live her life but be there when she needs you.

 

One question, how old are you? Just curious how much older you are than her.

I don't have an answer to your problem. I do however in some parts agree with Jack. She is an adult. While she is doing things that you clearly do not condone and are not in her best interest, but she is an adult and it is her choice. So far I don't see anything that is really dangerous for her and isn't going on with just about every twenty year old girl I know. You have let her know your feelings and she has chosen to do her own thing. At this point I would let her be and just maintain contact to be sure she doesn't get herself into real trouble. You can do this without being judgmental or stirring up conflict. Believe me, been there done that on many occasions. At the end of the day, make sure she knows you are always there for her no matter what. If that day ever comes where things get real bad in one way or another for her, you want her to be able to ask you for help. While I was lucky to never have this problem with my sister, I have gotten those 3am calls where people survived because they knew they could call me no matter what.

 

Maybe if you would have intervened when your sister was at the point bmwm3's sister is at she wouldn't have tried to kill herself. Protecting your family when they could be going down the wrong path is nothing to relax about.

 

Tell her those words are best reserved for her so-called "friend"

 

21 years old... So-Cal... No offence, but girls in their 20's like to have lots of sex with people they shouldn't. The only thing you can do is buy her a box of condoms. I am not trying to be mean by the way. Just think about yourself and how YOU partied and had sex with some random girl, who probably also had a concerned brother.

So relax and just keep an eye on her.

 

The problem is that pleasure is fleeting. HIV and AIDS, HPV and cervical cancer, Hep B and liver cancer, etc. are lifelong. Most people in their twenties can't grasp that simple concept.

Condoms just reduce the risk. If she's screwing around with tens of people who're doing the same with tens of others, what do you think her chances are? Not saying she should abstain, but she should make sure the sex is somewhat meaningful and monogamous for a reasonable period (she should still use protection of course).

 

Nice. Jack***.

 

What does she do for a living ?

Any way to get her more immersed in something else ?

You are on a fine line between 'helping' and 'driving her away from you', depending on what you do.

Can you rationalize where things might be in 1, 5 or 10 years ?

 

Sleep with her friend, that should take care of it. (That's the joke at the beginning of the sales pitch to lighten the mood.)

Truth be told, there aren't many options for you. My sister, many moons ago, went through a similar phase that lasted about 6-7 years. Went for a long walk on the wild side.

She eventually realized that wasn't where she wanted to be. No amount of interference helped.

One suggerstion, try and introduce your sister to a nice guy, if you know any that are interested. I didin't have anything to do with it, but my sister eventually met a great guy that turned her life around. Seems that the guy was a truly positive influence on her, and she wanted to change to make him, and herself, happy.

Oh, did I mention that guy is my best friend, and they are still married 25 years later?

Good luck with your situation,

DM

 

well, u better advised ur sis man. for her own good. i'm 21 too. but she makes 1 mistake, and it could destroy her whole confidence, and thats not good...


at this stage, most ppl will turn to what they will become the rest of their lives. so..i guess u better talk to her as an adult or somethin. if not, try to get Paris Hilton to talk to her...thru a jail cell, if possible

 

I think this is the best way to help.
Nice post.

 

You gotta find a way to get her to look at the big picture, how much better off she will be (with better grades) after she graduates.. I don't know what else to tell her.
I've never been good with 'set up' dates, some work, most don't, and forcing the issue might push her further to the dark side.. she's 21, it's going to be hard, NOW she can legally drink and party, and being in SC, how do you not do that ?

 

I don't have a sister but if I were in your situation my biggest concern is her getting ****faced at sausage fest, bring up the possibility of rape I'm sure that would scare her a lil I mean her drunk off her ass with 30 drunks guys the possibility of it is high.

 

By encouraging her you might help her realize what is happening gets repetitive and/or repulsive after a while. Rather than tell her how she's messing up, tell her to go out and have fun. Supportative > controlling.

She won't listen to a thing you have to say until you win her confidence. It's not because she doesn't want to, it's because she has to make enough bad decisions on her own before she starts taking advice from others, family in particular. That's my take on your thread. Right now it will take something big to make her warm up to you... like getting pregnant or getting in trouble... to break the ice.

If you're sister grows up a whore, she is still your sister. If she finds her way through a degree without getting pregnant and can pay the bills on her own, consider yourself a lucky brother. Instead of telling her what you would do, tell her if she needs anything to call you and stick with that schtick. Be her friend and she will respond to you as she does them in time.