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I Quit!!!!!

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by DrStranglove, Nov 4, 2003.

  1. DrStranglove

    DrStranglove FChat Assassin
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    Oct 31, 2003
    24,796
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    Full Name:
    DrS
    Dear Sir,

    As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself, during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen? I was hired, because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" - for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftless looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

    In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is: ""I prefer not to comment."" I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years, to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your ""favorites list"", which I conveniently saved when you made me ""back up"" your useless files. I do believe that terms like ""Lolita"" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to ""take pictures of your mothers ""birthday"", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell checker please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.

    Never f*ck with your systems administrator. Why?
    Because they know what you do with all that free time!

    Sincerely,

    John
     
  2. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

    This is a great letter....but......inquiring minds have to know.......is it for real or just a joke ?
     
  3. jordan747_400

    jordan747_400 F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Dec 9, 2002
    6,926
    Houston, TX
    Full Name:
    Jordan Witherspoon
    If that is real, then I am SPEECHLESS!
     
  4. bobafett

    bobafett F1 Veteran

    Sep 28, 2002
    9,193
    I have seen it before, but found nothing on snopes... must be a joke, though.

    --Dan
     
  5. rob lay

    rob lay Administrator
    Staff Member Admin Owner Miami 2018

    Dec 1, 2000
    49,308
    Southlake, TX
    Full Name:
    Rob Lay
    Yes, I saw something similar a few years ago. Pretty funny.
     
  6. Shadow DN8

    Shadow DN8 Rookie

    Nov 4, 2003
    23
    It's a fake repeat. Amusing as it is, I think in reality if someone tried to write that resignation letter the employer could take the composer to court for some form of extortion.
     
  7. PeterS

    PeterS Three Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Jan 24, 2003
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    PeterS
    This letter made my day!
     
  8. ILuv4Res

    ILuv4Res F1 Veteran
    Owner Lifetime Rossa

    Aug 8, 2002
    6,500
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    Fred
    Glad to see the Dr. made it from the 'dark side' to the 'force' of the new F-chat!!

    Hi Doc!
     
  9. WJHMH

    WJHMH Two Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Sep 5, 2001
    21,010
    Panther City, Texas
    Full Name:
    Will
    Looks like Rob Lay's future letter To Sprint.
     

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