I really need some advice.......marriage in crisis....

It appears to me that you (while not realizing it) have sought out releationships in which you have 'found safety in an abusive harbor'. From the pattern of the type of people you have been involved with, I would guess that your own parents (or members of the family that you grew up with that you were very close to) went through the same thing and that is what you are use to.

I would be interested to see your honest answer.

Dr. PeterS

 

I wonder what else she hasn't told you... or lied about? Trust is the great tiebreaker in any relationship. No matter what happens, good luck. And get some sleep.

 

I am calling bogus on this thread...

1.) why the hell would you post this - honestly.
2.) In what state were you married that does not have a marriage certificate (which has both signatures and date of birth, SSN, etc.) Did you not notice this?
3.) Is she on your insurance - you would have to have SSN and Birthdate.
4.) Do you have a Will? - Birthdate and SSN?

I can list 10 other documents that would also have this information - Emergency contact info, Bank info, etc.

How would you not know her birthday. Thus I call this a bogus thread - most likely a teenager posting this.

If not - my mistake - but this is stupid.

 

Here is an example: Women that end up in relationships that are physicaly or mentaly abusive. If you dig into their past, many grew up with this with their own parents, therefore, it is what they are use to. Without much forethought, they enter into relationships that produce the same sort of behavior they grew up with.

There are many scenarios of the above. Sometimes 'easy paths' are chosen due to the 'comfort' level and are not always in the persons best interest. If you have a friend that deals in therapy or family marrige issues, tell them about this.....You will probably get an earfull!

 

When I was in my late 20's I dated a girl that told me she was 20. She was great. We had a LOT of fun, but I was always a little concerned about her age, after all, she couldn't legally drink!

A few months into it, she told me she had something to tell me and she showed me her driver license. She wasn't 20, she was 18. Suddenly all my friends were jealous that I was dating this hot 18 year old.

The age isn't the issue, the pattern of deception is.

 

Are you really a Dr., PeterS??? Sorry we didn't get together as I flew low thru Sonora! We thought of you!!

I guess I need the wireless uplink via cell phone connection that's all the rage!
A good A/C would have lowered the stress level, too!!! Hand me a Corona!!!

..and now back to the regularly scheduled program.......

" I married a Girl I didn't really know", don't worry, we ALL did! LOL!!!

 

..and you kept on, tearing that young stuff up, didn't you?????

Our man here has the opposite problem, kinda like a speedo "rollback"


"...if it's still shiny, it's a good car!"

 

Don't worry, there's a lot of BS and imposters here, so everyone's leery of this type discussion.

If you are for real, what do you think?? You didn't post a pic. But if she is truly interested in making you happy, forget alout the little white lie!

Wait for a big black lie before you call it a day. Once you're married, it's tough to throw in the towel, in my case.

What does YOUR gut instinct tell you?? You're the closest to the scene.

 

Well my advice is not to sink into the "black or white" mentality.

She is no doubt embarressed by it all. Remember when we're young we want to be older, than at a point we're old, and want to be younger! I've fibbed about it over the years, and now I have to stop and do math!!

Be fully expressed to her if you have been hurt by the deception, but let her know how much you care about her and see if she feels the same. Might be a warm Kodak kind of moment if you can have that exchange without a lot of "you did me wrong" pressure on her.

At the same time remember that maybe YOU'll need a little forgiveness someday, and it never hurts to have a little goodwill in the bank.

Go to church next Sunday and leave it at the cross. go out and enjoy some blue sky.

 

This is not an attempt to go off topic but wasn't there a guy in Utah who was married for over a year to his "wife" who was actually a man! No kidding! I think his name was felix or something like that.

And now to the subject. If you were to ask all the guys here I would venture to say that 90%+ would not be able to give you their wife/GF's B-date (i'm talking year) withhout thinking long and hard about it. (I hope I'm right. If not, It's just me and I'm going to be in the dog house as soon as the little woman sees this post.)

Truthfully I have never looked at my wife's B-date on DL or Passport but I'm positive she's no man! (See "My Brazilian Wife" thread).

Communication is key in a healthy relationship

PD

 

Wow. Now I've heard everything...


Back to topic, after reading more, I'll pass on a word of advice that a wise man once told me:

"Ditch the *****"



-DC

 

All us Jr. detectives are hot on the case.... Would you mind if we called you, keeping you anonamous of course, just for verification purposes????

 

See?? You have lots of help here now! LOL

Of course to convince all these recent sceptics, you'll need to post a pic a you AND her with today's newspaper, along with the offending documents.

Or you could emulate ImpalaSS and post an underwear pic, with a poll.

Good luck. Hope you got some insights, before the water got bloody!

 

See, I think I was correct!

 

Speedy: You officially stink! Not stopping by for a beer...Jeeeesh! Next time you do that, I will have my CHP buddies lay out the spikes!

 

I don't think verbal abuse would make someone lie about their age.

I think among women that's called vanity!!!!

There a lot of verbal abusers out there, I've been accused myself, by my lovely first wife, and no one can take that title from her!!!

"I wasn't giving 'em Hell, I was telling 'em like it is, and they thought it was Hell" George Patton

What you think of my suggestion to clear the air, in a loving, low pressure manner. PeterS???

 

LOL! I know!

I missed about half the state!

Last thing I saw was Barstow, as the dust blew up in the sunset winds!!

Original Route 66, next exit. "Sorry honey, we have to head home now!!!"

The truck stop had the coffee mugs, though.

I see you getting together a Yosemite drive. It was great!

...now back to our story.....

 

barstow.......Barstow.....BARSTOW??? WOW! What a pit that city is! They made Barstow so people in El Seugundo would have a town to make fun of!

 

I know about 6PM the wind was blowing so hard all the trash was sent into the next county!

My sincere apologies for missing the get together. I should have taken two weeks for the trip. That would have meant so many more hotel rooms!!

My new baby is such a good traveller, she only takes the small clothes!!

She never leaves safe following distance though.
Constantly overdrives the braking distance!!!

"two second rule sweetie.... one mississippi...two mississippi...."

Give your WIFE another chance, mate. Making up is soooooo much fun!!!!

Anybody can be divorced....just look around.