This thread about nothing is proof why Seinfeld was such a hit.What?
Another thing that pisses me off beyond belief is the apostrophe people put before just about anything ends with an es... It's mind-boggling... If it's not possessive, it doesn't need an apostrophe...! For example: Bob's beachball bobs in the wavy ocean. See how Bob (the proper noun) has an apostrophe before the es...? That's because it's possessive - It's referring to something that belongs to Bob...! Now see the second use of "bob"...? We're not talking about something possessive here at all, are we...? Nooooooo... So that's why there's no apostrophe there... Get it...?
When we wanted to make bubbles we'd have to fart in the tub! Watching that movie around Christmas time always gives me a good vibe. Since we're on the grammar subject, is there supposed to be a space before an ellipsis or not?
Oh, and is it grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with a contraction? What about that being the sentence? "I'm."
Way back in college days, I would piss off my study group buds ny pointing out that very fact. The word that they are searching for is "irrespective."
Personally I enjoy using the neglected positives of familiar negatives. Thus something soothing is "turbing", while to be pleased is also to be "gruntled". (A tip of the hat here to the Rip-Off Press.) Another eyeball-roller: "Now then ..." And of course there is this: We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine she, shis and shim. And consider: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish Furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid 12) There was a row among the oarsman about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail 18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 22) The wind winds the windmill. If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree! There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. How is it that: * quicksand can work slowly? * boxing rings are square * a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig? * writers write but fingers don't fing? * grocers don't groce? * hammers don't ham? * you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can: * a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites? * your house burn up as it burns down? * you fill in a form by filling it out? * an alarm go off by going on.
Indeed we're getting dangerously close to outright puns: Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... what? A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
