IT : Women support !

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by amenasce, Sep 17, 2004.

  1. amenasce

    amenasce Two Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Oct 17, 2001
    Paris / Chicago
    Full Name:
    Andrew Menasce
    Dear (IT) Technical Support:
    I am desperate for some help.
    I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new
    program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space
    and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
    In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
    during system initialization where it monitors all other system activities.
    Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cards 5.3 no longer run and
    crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Football
    6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to
    keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite
    applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall
    doesn't work on this program.
    Can you please help?
    This was the answer I got, any comment?
    Dear Peter,
    This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many
    men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely
    a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
    designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to
    purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not
    designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the
    program files from the system once installed.
    Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended
    up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony/Child Support and
    Solicitors Fees).
    Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal
    with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur,
    whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE program
    and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I
    APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system
    will return to normal.
    Wife 1.0 is a very high maintenance program & can be very rewarding.
    To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as
    Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.
    Do not under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt version) as
    this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost
    certainly crash.

    Thanks & Regards,
    Linda Zeidan
  2. AntonyR

    AntonyR F1 Veteran
    Rossa Subscribed

    Apr 12, 2004
    Los Angeles
    Full Name:
    That was amazing.

    I havent laughed so hard in a long time
  3. MikeZ_NJ

    MikeZ_NJ Formula 3

    Dec 10, 2002
    Southern NJ
    Full Name:
    Mike Z.
    Are you sure Girlfriend 7.0 isn't a linux-based OPERATING SYSTEM? I had Girlfriend 7.0, and I could successfully run the following OS commands:
    unzip ; strip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep

    Unfortunately, this sequence doesn't work with Wife 1.0. Now the only thing that works is:
    touch ; less ; sleep
  4. sportveloce

    sportveloce Formula Junior

    Aug 31, 2003
    The Aussie section
    This is the funniest post I have ever read!!!

    Nice one. This is going straight to my Tech colleagues.

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