A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money. He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing...they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.' 'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?' 'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.' So his father sends the dog and $2,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know. 'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read.' 'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?' 'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.' The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!' 'Dad', the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid at the pub?'' The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he talks to your Mother!' 'I sure did, Dad!' 'That's my boy!' The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
They breed 'em smart down Smelbourne way... http://www.news.com.au/technology/environment/residents-evacuated-as-massive-storms-hit-victoria/news-story/6ede9351645ab838cc4fc98f6f74c1fe
Saw this on Facebook market if anyone on here knows of someone deserving... Image Unavailable, Please Login Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Mighta come from the auction after this year's event... http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-27/****box-rally-hundreds-of-cars-set-off-from-adelaide-for-cairns/8565210
I don’t know where to start with this one. Perhaps at the tip? http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/wtf/owner-of-worlds-biggest-penis-slapped-with-genital-stretching-slur/news-story/88004145697d4378d14a213ad0680ade#sharehash
Look what I got for Christmas! I think it’s about some guy trying to change a car battery or something? Image Unavailable, Please Login
a while ago a friend and I started streaming old comedy (Benny Hill, On the Buses, Rag Trade etc) one night and before we knew it we had sore sides from laughing and it was 3am - great fun!
It was brilliant comedy,so many great shows in the 70s n 80s sadly the tv's not worth turning on much these days,depressing rubbish
What kind of imbecile has that on a Merc? Funnily enough, I gave my car that exact number plate for Christmas! (It wasn’t available when I first registered the car. The car that had it must have recently sold or the owner forgot to renew. Lol).
