Joke.

Took me a few seconds but I got it. Hahaha

 

AHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

 

ROTF

 

--
A woman took a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery.

As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so
sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure"?

"Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead", he replied.

"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any

testing on him or anything. He
might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a
few moments later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog
stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked at the vet
with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later

with a beautiful cat. The cat
jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its
tail

and back again. The cat
sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and

strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is

most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced
a bill, which he handed to the
woman.


The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"GBP150!" she cried. "GBP150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"


The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been GBP20.

But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."

 

Still LOL Nice one Tony - nice to see a bit of subtlety here at last.

BTW Andrew do you know where that pic was taken?

 

Sorry Kev,
don't know where it was taken originally, But I can tell you who's taken it now It's been Goderated

 

This guy just started at his new job, working at a porno shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and asks if he can handle it alone.
The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees. So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in. She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"
He answers, "£35."
She says, "How much for the black one?"
He says, "£35 for the black one, £35 for the white one."
She says, "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before." She pays him, and off she goes.
A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks, "How much for the black dildo?" He says, "£35."
She says, "How much for the white one?"
He says, "£35 for the white one, £35 for the black one."
She says, "I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before." She pays him, and off she goes.
About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?"
He says, "£35 for the white, £35 for the black."
She says, "How much is that plaid one on the shelf?"
He says, "Well, that's a very special dildo. It'll cost you £165."
She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before." She pays him, and off she goes.
Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?"
To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for £165!"

 

Oh well. It lasted 24 hrs, better than I thought it would.
If anyone wants a copy pm me your e-mail and I'll do the honours.

Some more to follow soon. Normal bad service will be resumed!!

 

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me."
The doctor says, "Well, tell me your symptoms."
"Well, everything hurts. When I touch my nose it hurts (touching nose), when I touch my leg it hurts (touching leg), when I touch my arm it hurts (touching arm), it just hurts everywhere!" she said.
The doctor, after looking at her for a second, said, "Did you used to be a blonde?"
The brunette said, "Why yes!"
The doctor said, "Your finger's broken.

 

Must be tiring living here
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Swimmimg Anyone?
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