Dan: Better make that two bags, buddy. Hey! Weren't you the one egging her on when she blew a gasket over Barbara having to leave my birthday party early because my cousin wasn't feeling well? You didn't seem to mind her rambling that day. But, you're right. She really is a lot to take. Could you imagine if all 4 of them were like that? For those who don't know, my aunt believes every single frame of Farenheidt 911 is true. So, family dinners are quite lively sometimes. The food is wonderful, but the conversations can be deadly.
*notices the bags are empty, as are the beer cans* Hey, damn, came late to this party! Seriously, your families talk politics during holiday gatherings? My family has banned this since 1952, when my aunt beat up my grandmother with a drumstick and three pounds of stuffing. I believe that this was the first time when the term, "Bed Wetting Liberal" was uttered as both a point of fact and an insult, which resulted in a tense duel between two matriarchs wielding corn on the cobs as weapons of war and political dissent.
I'm sorry to laugh but that has tobe one of the funniest family gathering experiences of all time. --Dan
Ha! Are you sure that you don't have some relations down around Pensacola? I have an aunt who became a hippie in her 50s and never looked back. (Of course, she never looked back even before she became a hippie, but that's another story.) She is now 78. Dinner chit chat normally starts out interesting (imagine someone saying the exact opposite of Rush Limbaugh), but then she forgets what she was talking about. BTW, what was I talking about? Dr "I ain't no hippie" Who
Grab another bag Dan, this is just getting good. The only reason I was egging her on that day is she was finally complaining about how big a wuss your lazy cousin is. She wasn't going on about how Al Gore was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I'm glad the ex-Govenor of TN moved in next door to her, they're perfect for each other. And I am really glad they don't have our address in AL, or know where the lake house is...
No, L. was stripping her gears because B. had driven an hour and a half to bring the cake I had requested, and then caved into her bratty son to go home because he didn't feel well, couldn't eat anything, and he refused to stretch out on the couch in the pool room while the rest of us ate dinner. L. was basically telling B. to get a backbone. Then B. says "Oh, J. wants to know if he can have a couple of biscuits before we leave?" I think my mother actually cussed after that one. I can still see Mom behind B. trying to get L to be quiet, and you behind Mom egging L. on. And T. had her back on the whole situation, peeling a carrot or something. No wonder my mother likes you. AlGore? You haven't heard her talk about Dan Quayle have you? She was living in Indiana when that came up. Maybe your family's not so weird after all.
Thought you may like this as a belated birthday present, maybe K will buy you one. Regards Jam. Image Unavailable, Please Login
happy bday... as having turned 31 myself a few short months ago, i'll keep you posted as bodily functions and organs start failing... edit: i am your 'canary in the coal mine'
