Killed Anything Lately that Bothered You?

"Killed Anything Lately that Bothered You?" Are you fricking kidding me? This thread receives the "What the !@#$" award.

Dane

 

Just a couple of brain cells.

 

You must of obliterated those squirrels with a shotgun!

 

Oh, man - that reminds me of The Greatest Day in Varmintin' History

Responsible 15-17-year-old fellers we were, a couple of friends of mine and I would leave notes for our Dads on our respective stoves, letting them know what part of the family arsenal was missing and more or less where we were going - as in Probably East or Probably West... this time I got specific - I've got the pickup, your .22 revolver, .22 Ruger Pistol and my Ruger 10/22 Carbine & we're out by So-and-So's place (Foothills), squirreling.

So, Jackie had his .22 rifle, Scott had his .12 Gauge and I had my gear, plus we had binoculars, just in case Sheryl So-and-So (nearly 30 years later, she's still hot) decided this was the day she'd sunbathe topless. No such luck, but I think we did one better...

With each piece, we'd whacked probably 1/2 a dozen or so squirrels anywhere from 10-120 yards inside 1/2 an hour without a miss when we saw it. There was not one, but 2 enemy squirrels @ 90 yards away, elevated by about 40 feet on what we called Sheryl Hill (first place we'd gone, in high hopes of spotting Sheryl, mebbe nekkid - if we saw her eh-eh sister nekkid, that'd be OK, too) - anyhoo, with Scott doing countdown, Jackie and I both hammered ours, so we trudged on up to see our elevation shots - mine was kind of one leg in the hole, one out, so we left it as a reminder to other enemy squirrels to move far away, but Jackie's...

on a rock outcropping. Think Wile E. Coyote...

Scott's Turn.

Me: "Shoot just under it and see what happens."
Us 3 Stooges: "YEEEAAAAH."

Perfect shot.

Just a beautiful thing.

Splayed and flayed and flew like a damn glider. Until then, we'd misidentified it as a ground squirrel. Had no idea flying squirrels were in the area. It flew like a damn glider.
_

Now, there was another time when I borrowed Scott's Grandmother's iffy shotgun, but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.

 

I ran over a bird on my way home from a school one day, I guess that kinda bothered me.




The guts and feather bits in the wheels I mean.

 

i kill tuna almost every weekend after i boat these 50 lbers i take a sharp knife and stick them behind the pec fins till they bleed no more all over my deck. damn good on the grill !!!! and i sleep fine at night.

 

heartless bastud!

 

i hit a goose or something huge on the freeway te other day. i saw it right before the front right corner of my truck nailed its big body and leg area. felt bad at first but then i realized that the birds can see these large and heavy machines coming very fast. its in their own best interest to stay out of the way.

i was following behind my dad in his Gallardo a few weeks ago on out way to CC and i saw a little rabbit bullet across the road. next thing i saw was a little puff of fur fly out from under the Gallardo and then basically a smooshed stuffed animal in the street. when we finaly got to CC we scrubbed the blood off. i didnt feel bad cuz i didnt do it. my dad didnt feel bad either because its the rabbit's fault if he tries to see if he can make it under a thosand-plus-pound machine without getting squashed and then fails

 

That bothered me? Yes, actually!

The other day, I was coming back home at a frisky pace (50ish), and this kid just ran in front of me just as I was aiming for my driveway. Good thing I was in my truck, just knocked him down and drove over. I parked in my driveway, hurried to clean up the blood on the bumper (that crap ruins the chrome!). Took me a good 30 minutes to clean it up properly too! And you'd never guess, 30 minutes later, the kid was still laying in the middle of the street. Only his head could move, so I dragged him off the asphalt, gave him some spinach and some corn flakes ... an hour later, he was exactly in the same spot. So I guess that was it, but I don't trust destiny, so I took an old rusty shovel, and chopped its head off. What was he gonna use it for anyways? At least now it decorated the fireplace perfectly. And do you know what bothers me about this whole ordeal? It was an average white kid! If it had been an asian or black, it would have had some "exotic-ness" factor ... but whatever. It's still a good ice-breaker.

 

POST OF THE MONTH!!!!! Now THAT is some funny stuff!!!!!

 

Try it with a nice chianti!

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Image Unavailable, Please Login

 

Noticed a baby bird in my driveway last week that looked like it fell out of its nest. I examined it closely and decided the best thing to do was bring my male cat over and let nature work to determine its fate. That bird was either going to learn to fly real fast, or my cat was going to have a snack. I walked away, so I don't know the outcome. I came to terms long ago that all living creatures on this planet are born with a death sentence, so there's no sense in worrying about something I have no control over...

 

I hate you!
Image Unavailable, Please Login

 

Haha. That pic is great.

 

I killed a man.
I stabbed him in the heart!

Yeah I saw that, I've been meaning to speak to you about that for a while...

 

no, hehe I can't even bring myself to hit a squirrel.... infact I once braked hard in my old Volvo because some critter was darting across the street... he got across fine, but unfortunatly grandpa behind me rear-ended my car


....was intresting to tell that to the cop that showed up

"What happend sir?"

Me: "A squirrel crossed the street"

 

Yesterday I was driving past one of those fashionable farms here in NJ (no fields or anything, they just sell organic products, etc.) and there were two juicy peaches laying in the middle of the road, I quickly did the right thing, aimed and nailed em at like 40mph with the 32x11.5" tires on the jeep. Those b*tches splattered good.

I tried to straddle a skunk once in the 308, that didn't work out too well for either one of us. It sure as hell bothered me, the 308 slept outside for a week.

The only thing I've ever shot that bothered me later on was a chipmunk. I was like 8, we were up at our mountain place, I have no idea why I did it, I guess there wasn't much else in the woods that day. Squirrels, groundhogs, assorted birds (especially geese), deer, etc. all have it coming IMO. There was another chipmunk with it, it was during the spring, so presumably its mate. Not a bambi, poor baby crying type feeling, more like, wtf, why did I do that, he wasn't bothering anybody, and it was pointless cause what good is a dead chipmunk. God, I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in Haagen-Dazs.

 

A tomato juice bath would've cleared that right up!

Dane

 

I was mowing the lawn once, and I ran over a shrew or mole and a puff of fur and a chopped up carcass shot out. It was pretty cool, but it made this horrible grinding crackling noise when it was in the blade.
I take great pride in being able to hunt down crickets that won't STFU late at night in your house and splattering them.
I also can catch flies in mid-air and I throw them down against the ground. It's really cool thing to show people who haven't seen it before.
The way I see it, anything that is annoying has a death warrant

 

That's funny as sh;t when you do that. I hit a bird like that once, feathers everywhere!

 

daaaaaamn. a bird. now that takes skill

 

When I was younger, I killed a bottle of scotch. The next morning, it bothered me.

On the road, I won't cause an accident trying to avoid animals. Critters that play in traffic ought to be able to dodge the cars. Think of it as evolution in action.

On a takeoff run, I had a seagull come straight at the windscreen -- and it rode the air stream over the top. But I'm still trying to figure out how it could have come through the prop arc at takeoff RPMs without getting tagged.

 

FYI, HSUS is a front group for "animal rights" organizations. They use the name "Humane Society of the US" to goad you into believing that they have something to do with local humane societies. They don't.

 

I killed 30 squirrels in one month. One for every day. Plus a bunch of doves. tryed to take out a rabbit that lives in my yard but my pellet gun wasnt doin the trick. Have to get the shotgun out.