lessons from my TX trip

how do you NOT like whataburger?!?!

 

Well, I've only been here 30 years so I guess that I'm still a newbie.

Texas is a funny state. While there are some cool parts, frankly, most of this place is butt ugly. Name any cool spot, I can top it with a better one in California, Colorado, Florida and so forth and so on.

I'll never forget when I first came to work here and was looking at the smog from a 40 story window, a partner in the firm patted me on the back and said, "Don't you just love it? Son, all that smog is just the smell of money."

At the same time, most folks have an irrational love for Texas. Yeah, it is a hot, humid, flat, boring place populated with an overabundance of drugstore cowboys, peckerwood white T's, lowrider home boys, and gangster wannabes; but I guess if the shoe fits, you gotta wear it.

Dale

PS Maybe the best show ever about Texas is Friday Night Lights. Watch it.

PPS It might surprise you to discover that Houston is probably one of the most ethically diverse cities in the country. No lie!

 

Check out Pampa, Texas by Amarillo sometime. My grandma lives there. You'll be begging to come home by the second day!

Probably 80% are people over 60 years old, 20% are younger than 60, but at least 10% of those have mental or physical handicaps, the other 10% are butt ugly. Nearly everyone there is having heart/cholesterol problems, no matter their age. The food is all terrible, and the water tastes like death. My dad worked there in the '80s, and some of the 20 and 30 year olds he was working with were already on high blood pressure medication.

I don't mean to offend anyone but... not my idea of a fun place to go!

 

anywhere you go in the WORLD is going to have stuff that you dont like

but IMO, Texas is the best country, err, i mean state there is
the small towns, the big cities, the south tx countryside to the hill country are beautiful, we dont take crap from anyone, we are actually pretty polite compared to MOST other states (epecially the ones above the mason-dixon line)
we are very 'statriotic' here, do the right thing mentality, and dont forget we have the third highest GSP behind NY and Cali, the MOST Fortune 500 companies than any other state, the largest medical center in the world in houston that contains the best trauma center and best cancer center.. best childrens hospital in Dallas, lots of oil (kinda lol) and dont forget all them purty girls!
God Bless TX
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It wouldn't surprise me at all that peoples ethics are diverse in Houston, I would rather say it is the second most ethically challenged place in the state (behind Austin, of course).

 

dude that kinda sucks !

 

I love Watabuger that is the olny fast food that i will eat.
The olny bad thing is some times it's not fast food.

 

I can really relate to this.
EVERY time I have ever even tried to eat @ whataburger I have bad service and worse food!!

 

Pampa does have a whataburger though. Try Brownfield, Texas for a real hellhole. Southwest of Lubbock. The only good thing I could find was the extremely low humidity.

 

+1. Texas is a country. There was a post some where in the Texas section where it had a list of why Texas can be on its own as a country. Anyone have it?

This says it all...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=apMyjOAacyA

 

Welcome to Texas!!

Now leave.

 

I've lived in 5 other states, some above and some below the MD Line.

I Love Texas! I have a home in the DFW area and plan to die in it.

So in the same vein of "satire"... I'd like to respond to your comments with a few thoughts...



1) You must fly up on anyone's butt, for no reason at all. If they yield, continue to tailgate into other lanes. (drafting?)::

"That's just our theory that if you ain't goin' fast enough, there must be something wrong with yer' car and we're
just tryin' to help out. Show a little gratitude..."

2) If there is one car on the road, even if it is in the slow lane, you must cut it off. No exceptions. (running static or shelling the nice car with rocks?)::

"If there's only one car on the road, they must be up to no good. If they are in the SLOW lane, they are
probably running crack from LA to Texas. Don't just cut 'em off... run 'em off the road. (Make sure your gun is loaded)"

3) You must drive a truck, the roofline has to be a minimum of 1' taller than you are. (to see over the flat featureless wasteland you call home?)::

"Don't underestimate... it must be 3" inches to comply with most city and State laws. And if you think Texas is a
flat featureless wasteland... we did our job. All roads drive across the flatlands... We like to keep the cool areas
a secret so's to keep out them yankee folk."

4) Spit everywhere when you can. (watering the plants?)::

"Don't understand this one... what's the problem again?"

5) Johnny Caroni's will get your food wrong, cold and 10 minutes after everyone else at the table. ::

"As my momma told me, there's starvin' kids in cambodia... you'll be eatin' that food whether it hot or cold!"

6) Wifi? We barely have internet! ::

"The internet ain't good fer nuthin' but them no good porn pushers... we oughta string up anyone crying fer a faster
way to get a good peek at someone's privates!"

7) Whataburger (aka WTFaburger) is never a good idea hahahaha::

"Whataburger sucks... You don't have to convince me otherwise... I've given that place it's fair share of chances and they have failed EVERY time! Refer to Number 9."

8) Cute girls drive cruddy cars. ::

"Cute girls in North Texas do not drive cruddy cars... although they might be cruising in a dually! It's all good."

9) Cheetahs in CC is a dive, end of story. ::

"The 'dive' restaurant is the cornerstone of good eatery in Texas. To heck with the chains... give me the one-off dives
all day long and I'll die a happy man."

10) If you have a pair of Jeffersons to rub together, you are loaded in Corpus. ::

"Reminiscent of the Ray Charles song "Green Back Dollar Bill". I don't see the problem here... a night on the town for
a coupl'a low digit dead prez's don't bother me none!"

11) Say the word Ferrari, and you are automatically a snob. ::

"Yes... and I like it that way. Go to West Hollywood with my 308 and people will look upon me with heart-felt pity..."

12) Serve bread with everymeal. Gravy replaces all condiments. ::

"Again... what's the problem here?"

13) When you sweat it will never dry from your clothes. Ever. ::

"Try Florida... when you sweat, an hour later you start to grow bread in places you never thought possible! Forever!"

14) Texas hospitality is an oxymoron. Anything not from Texas is rejected like a bad organ transplant no matter how nice a guest you are. Regardless if you are stationed there or not, even military personnel not from Texas were treated poorly. Ok that one was actually serious. ::

"Don't know where you had this experience... but everyone I've ever hosted from other states has commented on
the authenticity of Texas hospitality. As far as military personnel goes... I have personally witnessed on
multiple occasions, total strangers standing and applauding soldiers as they walk by. (Restaurants, the airport,
shopping malls.)"

15) Heart disease is the fastest way out of Texas. Boots first. see #'s 5, 7 and 12. ::

"The fastest way out of Texas is to piss off a Texan. (We always have our guns loaded)"

16) SPID looks like they tested missiles on it. ::

"I thought we covered spid in number 4... ??"

17) Rain storms will be like walking through curtains, 200ft of zero visibility flanked by perfectly clear skies! ::

"It's an old cliche... 'if you don't like the weather in Texas, just stick around for a few minutes... it will change.' "


Cheers!

 

absolutely hilarious hahahah

 

Well said Ron! +1

 

I'm not sure which is a greater indicator of you faulty understanding of Texas, your list of "gripes" or the fact that you thought people from the most loyal state in union would find them at all humorous.

Especially when you show yourself being from NY and CA! Might as well be from France!

 

Texas has been good to me.

NY and CA; nice to visit.....

 

I love it. hahaha, so true.

I have a bone to pick with you Testshoot, about #4: Spiting.

What's wrong with that? Plus, if you have to deal with the allergies I do you're clearing your throat, nose and chest on a regular basis. Otherwise all the 'crap' settles in your stomach, which in turn makes you feel like crap. In fact I'm hocking a lugie into the trash can as we speak. And I'm at work.

I'm just giving you a hard time. Seriously, I thought spitting was a natural body function?

 

The girl looks very familiar. Are her initials: M.R. ?

 

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later
how to use it.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we
can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their
way.
This is what they live for.

4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.

5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All
y'all's" is plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph
zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks
learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is
the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay
out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity".
And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."

10. There are no delis. Don't ask.

11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when
making a point, especially in a bar.

12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.

13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven

14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.

15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.

16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer!

17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F-150 is.

18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot"
you can be certain they are.

19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a
bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.

20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.

21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't
mean anything's broken.

22. Don't even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you
really mean to say is 'Margarita.'

23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school
football just keep your mouth shut.

24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance
to the door, but the availability of shade.

25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto
the shoulder that is called "courtesy".

26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot
dogs outdoors.

27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular
weekend pastime.

28. "Tea" = Iced Tea. There is no other kind.

29. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.

 

Still, I would probably not show her this thread, (if I were you), or admit to your posting name around her father or brothers.

 

Texans have far better lane discipline in hill country than elsewhere. CC is a pit, as are parts of Houston, and Dallas is snobbish and flat (except when artificially augmented). Dallas and Houston have drivers rude as the ones on the 5/405. Left blinkers usually work on traffic, enough ex-mil folks around here. Rudeness is odd. Usually people are quite friendly, a bit stand-offish anymore but warm up quickly. Here are some pics of my area of TX. Need fresh pics with the 599. Too busy driving to stop and photograph. Prob need to.
Since I lived on the cove in LJ, I'm pretty picky, and I love it here as much as LJ, just different. Lived in Houston too, never again.
+1 Pettit
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That's because you're from California. We can sniff 'fornians from 100 yards.

If she knew your history, or saw your links, she wouldn't be your sister!

Tell me when you're free. I'll fly down, we'll drive. You pull over, I'll take pictures. I'll fly home.


I grew up in Colorado, lived there 23 years. Have been in TX for 20. I'm not going back. Go figure.

 

+111111

sufamtu that by bandera?