Dear Whiners and Complainers... Two years ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember." The children never said a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good Morning, boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and I enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday. And there I sat...on the couch...naked. It was all down hill from there. My wife left with the kids, my boss fired me, my friends hated me, I couldn't afford the payments on the car and I had to sell it, I started eating to much and gained weight. I moved to another town and got a job in Kmart and I am trying to start a new life here. So I have a message for all of you who morons who had a bad day and are sitting there complaining about it. SHUT UP because if you think you have it bad, look at me! MY LIFE SUCKS!
Very nice. Does your wife know about this story ? Probably not a problem, as long as your older secretary is over 80 kilos.
Hi NNO,only messing with him as I had a row off him this morning after he read my post's on the cafe with Big Tex. LOL. It was funny though.
Bill Gates once said that if you think your life sucks, volunteer at the acute burns ward at the local childrens hospital
Yes, my son's back was burnt by hot coffee (for God's sake parents on this site ... give the coffee habit a miss around children, you can survive without caffeine really ), and he is perfectly fine now ... but visiting the childrens burns ward was tough ... just horrible! Pete
I know many people, that if the above things happend to them, would claim that was the best day of their lives, and they would never complain again.
Allegedly this one is. In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flame and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/suicide.htm But also follow the link to the Ronald Opus tale: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/opus.htm
