I got this e-mail today...thought I would share! Jay May 30th: > > Just moved to Dallas. Now this is a city that > knows how to live!! >Beautiful > sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! > I watched > the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was > beautiful. I've finally > found my home. I love it here. > > > >June 14th: > > Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air- >conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned > car. What a > pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm > turning into a sun >worshiper. > >June 30th: > >Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus >and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. >Another scorcher today, but I love it here. > > >July 10th: > >The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. >How do people get used to >this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting >used >to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I >expected. > >July 15th: > >Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). >Missed >3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. >Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. > > > > > > > July 20th: >I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car >when I left >this morning. >By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan >had died and swollen up >to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the >$2,000 leather upholstery. >I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells >like Kibbles and >sh-ts. >I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this >heat. > > >July 25th: > >The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking >blow dryer!! >And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is >not working and the AC >repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell >me he needed to order >parts. > > > >July 30th: > >Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights >now. $1,500 in >damn house payments and we can't even go inside. >Why did I ever come >here? > > > > >Aug. 4th: > >It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner >fixed today. It cost >$500 >and gets the temperature down to 85, but this > freaking humidity makes the >house feel like it's about 95. > >Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid city. > > > > Aug. 8th: > > If another wise ass asks, "Hot enough for you > today?" I'm going to >strangle > him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the > radiator is boiling over, >my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked >cat!! > > > > Aug. 9th: >Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, >and sat on the black >leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was >on fire. I lost 2 >layers >of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs > and ass. Now >my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and > baked cat. > > > > Aug. 10th: > The weather report might as well be a damn > recording. Hot and > sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too > hot to do sh-t for 2 > damn months and the weatherman says it might > really warm up next week. > Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water > rationing now, so my $1700 > worth of cactus just dried up and blow into the > damn pool. Even the cactus > can't live in this damn heat. > > > > > > > Aug. 14th: > >Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 115 today. >Forgot to >crack the window and blew the damn windshield out >of the car. The >installer >came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you >today?" My wife had to spend >the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. > > > > > Freaking Texas. What kind of a sick demented idiot > would want >to live here?
