Man Rules :D | FerrariChat

Man Rules :D

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Sanj-, Sep 5, 2007.

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  1. Sanj-

    Sanj- Karting

    Jul 1, 2007
    242
    Vancouver
    came across this list on another forum a little while ago, found it quite histerical.

    The Man Rules*******************
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear "the rules"
    From the female side.


    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note... these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear!

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
    or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
     
  2. tichi

    tichi Karting

    Oct 6, 2006
    249
    the earth
    Full Name:
    T.C.
    PERFECTO!! :D :D :D
     
  3. Devilsolsi

    Devilsolsi F1 Veteran
    Rossa Subscribed

    Mar 1, 2007
    9,386
    MD
    Full Name:
    Alex
    HAHAHAHA..that was great!
     
  4. Stephanie

    Stephanie F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Feb 23, 2006
    14,973
    The Beach, FL
    Full Name:
    Stephanie
    Ha. I almost posted this the other day!
     
  5. JoshVette

    JoshVette Formula Junior

    Aug 12, 2007
    708
    Grand Prairie/Dallas
    Full Name:
    Josh
    Ha, that's good......what do you think will happen if I send this to my wife.

    We've only been married barely 5 months now, think she'll laugh about it?? or should I wait about 5 years to send it to her? :)

    Josh
     
  6. wingfeather

    wingfeather F1 Rookie

    Feb 1, 2007
    3,653
    rock bottom
    I never understood the whole toilet seat issue. My parents had a pet that would drink from the toilet, so everyone was used to putting the seat & cover down. Later on in life, the first few times I did this to my girl, she got even more mad than if I left the seat up!!! WTF? Had to get rid of her.
     
  7. Sanj-

    Sanj- Karting

    Jul 1, 2007
    242
    Vancouver
    hahaha, ive never understood it, but i know that it makes sense if its up, put the seat down lol


    josh, its a toss up, if you think she'll be cool about it and laugh its pretty funny, but if i were a girl, i would probably take it the wrong way lol(no offense girls)
     

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