Mortality

I know exactly what you mean. MY grandfather has passed away recently (past few months) and even though he was out of my life, my grandmother wasn't. As a matter of fact, she raised me. She lives with us, but my parents had to put food on the table, so everything that I have gone through, has been through her.

The difference between you and I is the fact that I have been thinking (but trying not to) of what would happen if my grandmother did pass away. I couldn't handle it. This is the same lady that will give you a hug in the middle of the street just for picking up something she dropped. She would always want to tip the nurse after a check-in at the hospital, or any other kind of service where tipping was not necessary. You'll never see her without a smile on her face, and going through heart attacks, countless 911 calls, and family deaths taking their toll on her, I never know how much more she can take.

There is also one big problem. I am not religous in any way. This creates a problem, because now I know why a lot of people like to incorporate religon in their lives. Security. In the past week, a girl I knew had passed away in a car accident. Her family and my family had known eachother for quite some time. The sad part was, she wasn't driving, drinking, smoking.. nothing. The jeep flipped and she was the only one that died. The others walked away from it.

When we went to the memorial... I couldn't look at their face, and right there and then reminded me of my grandmother, and the fact that these parents were claiming celebration. She's our angel. She's now with God. The only thing I can think of (logically) is that she will be gone and done.

Eitherway, I can still think of all the people she's touched, and what an honor it was to know her. There might not be anything called God, but there is SOMETHING. As long as I have the guarantee that I will die one day too, I know that I'll be with her in some way, some day.

 

Gentry/Bijan, losing loved ones is part of life. This doesn't make it any easier, but life goes go on. All you can do is to remember the good times and keep them in your hearts forever.

Also keep this in mind when you are concerned about the mortality of those you love: No matter how much or how little you do while they are alive, you are going to feel gulity when they cross the river. This too is part of life. But if you do the best you can to keep them in your life while you can, at the end of the day, you will find some comfort in this knowledge.

All the best, Dale

 

I know where you are coming from, even being only 20. I have lost my grandparents on one side, my father, and currently have a grandmother going through treatment for cancer (for the 7th or 8th time). You have to spend as much time with them as is possible, and enjoy your time with them. My father spent two weeks with his father before he passed away, and he said that caring for him and spending that time with him was the best thing that he ever could have done. Mortality is a real thing, but you can't let it rule your life, because there are so many better things to live for.

Craig

 

We Buddhists concentrate a lot on mortality because we know that Every relationship you were ever in willend one day. Its just a law of the Universe.
So the best thing you can do is live every day to its fullest. Think about & really experience every moment especially with your loved ones.

On the flip side you must also remember that their DNA runs in your body so they are very much still with you in that way

 

Gentry, your thread caught my attention very quickly.

When I was growing up, I never thought about death. Even the death of my Grandmother wasn't enough to kick-start that thought process.

What was a major defining point in my life was the loss of my father. I was 25 years old at the time. He died of Cancer. It was so difficult to see such a strong, proud man be reduced so quickly. I had (& still have) so many emotions I don't even know where to begin explaining them here. I re-evaluated almost everything in my life.

It's never easy. Luckily, you have the ability to speak to your father, clarify any outstanding issues, say goodbye, say I love you, etc... Many people have loved ones taken suddenly without any warning. Use this time wisely.

 

You hit the nail on the head on that one. Following Christ indeed provides a sense of security, and for me, it isn't a false sense. John 3:16: ...so whoever believes in Him will inherit eternal life." While there is no way to "spin" a happy face on death, a part of me can and does celebrate when a follower of Christ journeys through death's valley. It's not a "white-washing" or masking of the mourning, but a geniune part of it.

What's funny is that my own mortality really come to light with my KIDS more than, say, my parents. My 5-year old asked me, "daddy, when I grow up to be your age, will you die?" Not wanting to needlessly upset him, I responded "We all must eventually die, but daddy will probably live a long, long time." But the truth is, when he's 38, I will be 71, and most, if not all, of my life will be over! Now that's a bit sobering!!!

 

nice post gentry.

 

Thank you for those kind words, Dale. It really does give me a lot to think about.

 

Exactly. And everytime I hear of someone believing that, I wish I could inherit it, but it's just not going to happen.

 

I agree, nice post Gentry.
Whatever you do, don't let anything important be left unsaid.
Especially if you've been arguing, you'd be forever regretting youself if you didn't reconsiliate before too late.

I forgive you, I love you, please forgive me.

Short sentences that really can make a big difference.

/Peter