NEVER EVER transport your vehicle with anyone.....

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

 

Chuck Norris can believe it's butter.

 

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

 

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

 

There is no theory of evolution...just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

 

lmao, I thought Fchat was 'don't ask don't tell'

 

Every night before he goes to bed, the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago. The grim reaper is just too scared to tell him.


Every April 15th, Chuck Norris just sends in a blank 1040 IRS form, along with a picture of himself crouched ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes.

 

I can not tell a lie. They were rentals

 

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

 

Chuck Norris invented the Mitsubishi Evo as a way for young men afraid to come out of the closet to tell their friends and families they are gay (not that there is anything wrong with it). Now thanks to Chuck's invention thousands of young men can tell the world their sexual orientation without uttering a word...

 

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g

 

quoted me nearly $2,000. from LA to NYC for my new ride....more than double any other quote.