NFC: NYC Bartender joke | FerrariChat

NFC: NYC Bartender joke

Discussion in 'New York Tri-State' started by ClydeM, Aug 30, 2005.

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  1. ClydeM

    ClydeM F1 World Champ
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Nov 4, 2003
    11,944
    Wayne, NJ
    Full Name:
    Clyde E. McMurdy
    Bartenders Psychology:

    Before you order a drink in public, you should read
    this!

    Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they
    could nail a woman's personality based on what she
    drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred
    on almost all counts.

    The results:

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.


    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.


    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink..................


    Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
    Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
    Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.


    Drink: White Zinfandel
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
    Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.


    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been
    blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!


    Drink: Tequila
    No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what
    happens there.


    THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
    The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and
    clear cut:

    Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

    Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get
    laid.

    Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

    Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

    Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

    White Zinfandel: He's gay
     
  2. Greg G

    Greg G F1 Rookie

    hahahaha - I just bust out laughing in my office! noice
     
  3. sjmst

    sjmst F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 31, 2003
    9,854
    Long Island, NY
    Full Name:
    Sam
    Sent it to a buddy who was a bartender in NYC and New Orleans. "So true" he said.
     
  4. Ashman

    Ashman Three Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Sep 5, 2002
    33,297
    MA
    Full Name:
    John
    For the guys you can add "Cosmopolitan" to the white zin description.

    John
     
  5. Ashman

    Ashman Three Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Sep 5, 2002
    33,297
    MA
    Full Name:
    John
    Was the guy in N'Awlins blown away by that?

    sorry, bad joke. Any other hurricane jokes?

    John
     
  6. sjmst

    sjmst F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 31, 2003
    9,854
    Long Island, NY
    Full Name:
    Sam
    He lives in Joisy now. Anyway, I was blown away when he was working the hurricaine bar at Pat Obrien's.
     
  7. notoboy

    notoboy F1 Rookie

    Jul 8, 2003
    2,531
    NYC
    Full Name:
    David
    That was pretty funny :D
     
  8. ClydeM

    ClydeM F1 World Champ
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Nov 4, 2003
    11,944
    Wayne, NJ
    Full Name:
    Clyde E. McMurdy
    Here's another oldy that was e-mailed me.
    key: * = multiplication SQRT = Square Root

    1) To find a woman you need Time and Money. Therefore:
    Woman = Time * Money

    2) "Time is Money" so
    Time = Money

    3) Therefore:
    Woman = Money * Money or Woman = (money)squared

    4) Money is the root of all problems so:
    Money = SQRT (Problems)

    5) Therefore through substitution
    Woman=(SQRT(Problems)Squared)
    or reducing the equation:
    Woman = Problems
     

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