Nicola's Joke Book Revisited

Women can never have enough rules. Anyway, here are some jokes from the girls; and the survey response from 100 guys interviewed;

Response to Nicola’s Ladies Joke Book;


LADIES; What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45 mins.
GUYS; Earthquakes and F1 Qualifying permitting.

LADIES; How many men does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they just sit there in the dark and complain.
GUYS: You trained us.

LADIES: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? - Through his chest with a sharp knife.
GUYS: What’s the fastest way to a woman’s heart? Through your credit card with a pair of scissors.

LADIES: How do men sort their laundry? - Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"
GUYS: How do women sort their laundry, ask the launderette manageress.

LADIES: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? - The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen ring donuts.
GUYS: Agreed, The most popular woman knows all about the size of ring donuts.

LADIES: What is the difference between a battery and a man? - A battery has a positive side.
GUYS: Agreed, but women are like dead batteries, no response – ability

LADIES: What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his intelligence? -Divorced.
GUYS: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? - normal

LADIES: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? - A rumour.
GUYS: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive woman? – Eve, she was the first and only woman known to have all 3 attributes on this planet.

LADIES; A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." - The woman says, "I'll miss you."
GUYS: The guy says, I wasn’t talking to you I was on the mobile phone talking to your sister.

Hope you like them says Missogenist Nicola, - yes we loved them says almost speechless Dave.

D11VE:J

 

Nicola, they are all very funny! I could not stop thinking of the look on your face as I was writing them, you luved them go on admit it!

Don't know what women worry about, its a womans world, men are like a floor covering, once they have been laid they are walked on for the rest of their lives.

D11VE:J

 

Ain't it funny how we men all think alike.

D11VE:J