Nicola's Joke Book Revisited

Discussion in 'United Kingdom' started by D11VE:J, Mar 29, 2005.

  1. D11VE:J

    D11VE:J Formula 3

    Nov 9, 2004
    Women can never have enough rules. Anyway, here are some jokes from the girls; and the survey response from 100 guys interviewed;

    Response to Nicola’s Ladies Joke Book;

    LADIES; What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45 mins.
    GUYS; Earthquakes and F1 Qualifying permitting.

    LADIES; How many men does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they just sit there in the dark and complain.
    GUYS: You trained us.

    LADIES: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? - Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    GUYS: What’s the fastest way to a woman’s heart? Through your credit card with a pair of scissors.

    LADIES: How do men sort their laundry? - Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"
    GUYS: How do women sort their laundry, ask the launderette manageress.

    LADIES: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? - The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen ring donuts.
    GUYS: Agreed, The most popular woman knows all about the size of ring donuts.

    LADIES: What is the difference between a battery and a man? - A battery has a positive side.
    GUYS: Agreed, but women are like dead batteries, no response – ability

    LADIES: What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his intelligence? -Divorced.
    GUYS: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? - normal

    LADIES: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? - A rumour.
    GUYS: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive woman? – Eve, she was the first and only woman known to have all 3 attributes on this planet.

    LADIES; A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." - The woman says, "I'll miss you."
    GUYS: The guy says, I wasn’t talking to you I was on the mobile phone talking to your sister.

    Hope you like them says Missogenist Nicola, - yes we loved them says almost speechless Dave.

  2. Nicola

    Nicola Formula Junior

    Sep 10, 2004
    Some of that was slightly funny :p
  3. D11VE:J

    D11VE:J Formula 3

    Nov 9, 2004
    Nicola, they are all very funny! I could not stop thinking of the look on your face as I was writing them, you luved them go on admit it!

    Don't know what women worry about, its a womans world, men are like a floor covering, once they have been laid they are walked on for the rest of their lives.

  4. 400SPYDER

    400SPYDER F1 Rookie

    Jul 7, 2004
    Kent, England
    Full Name:
    I thought so :D:p:D:p

    As long as it's well laid !!!;););)
  5. D11VE:J

    D11VE:J Formula 3

    Nov 9, 2004

    Ain't it funny how we men all think alike.


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