O/T Ferrari Jokes....

It seems this fellow, let's call him Joe, died and went to heaven where everything was perfect...except there were no Ferraris. So Joe went to St. Peter and said 'hey, if heaven is perfect, then there should be Ferraris here, as they are the perfect car and they do have a soul' After much negotiation, St. Peter gave Joe a Ferrari on the condition that he could only sit in it...never drive it. Joe thought he would be satisfied.

Well, that worked for about 2 days. Then Joe went back to St. Peter and told him that sitting and not driving was worse than not having a Ferrari at all. So again, after much discussion, St. Peter let Joe drive the car but no faster that 20 kilometers per hour. So, Joe is driving around on the outskirts of heaven at 20 kph when an F50 went by at about 250 kph. Now, Joe was quite upset, so he went back to St. Peter again and said "How come that guy gets to drive his Ferrari so fast and I don't. I saw his license plate and it started with NA, so he must be from Naples and why does a Neopolitan get better treatment than me?"

St. Peter said "Don't get so upset about that F50. The NA is not Naples...it is Nazareth and the driver is the owner's son."


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Daryll had been out of work for close to two years. Needless to say, he was getting pretty desperate for money. He decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhood up on the hill and look for odd jobs as a handyman.

Well, the first house he came to, a man answered the door and told Daryll, "Yeah, I have a job for ya. How would you like to paint the porch?"

"Sure, that sounds great!" said Daryll.

"Well, uh, how much do you want me to pay you?" said the man.

"Is fifty bucks all right?" Daryll asked.

"Yeah, that's great. You'll find all the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."

The man went back into his house to his wife, who had been listening.

"Fifty bucks! Does he know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.

"Well he must, he was standing right on it!" her husband replied.

About 30 minutes later, Daryll knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," he told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.

"You painted the whole porch?"

"Yeah," Daryll replied, "I even had some paint left over, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Daryll.

"Oh, by the way," said Daryll, "that is not a Porch, it's a Ferrari!"

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One day, a man was walking along the beach and came acrosn odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared.

"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie.

The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued.

"What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.

The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for."

"Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.

"What is your first wish?" asked the Genie.

"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"

POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris," said the Genie.

"What is your next wish?"

"I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and POOF!

One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now, every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man.

"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got MY million," replied the man.

"And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie.

The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

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The pope decides to buy a Ferrari to go for a drive. He invites two of his cardinals along and once on the "autostrada" he is quickly accelerates to 250 km/h and zig-zags in the traffic overtaking the slower traffic. He continues to accelerate when the first cardinal, white as a ghost from fright asks the pope to pull over and let him out.

The pope says to him "don't worry, Jesus is with us". The cardinal politely repeats his request to the pope. The pope slows down and lets him out. The second cardinal is about to step out of the car, when the pope gives him a mean look, and the 2nd cardinal decides to stay. The pope floors it and gets to 300 km/h in no time, zig zagging and passing all the traffic. The cardinal kindly asks the pope if he would let him out, to which the pope replies "don't worry, Jesus is with us". The cardinal suggests that if the pope doesn't want his new Ferrari smelling of caca, that he lets him out. Once again the car slows down to a stop and the cardinal gets out.

Accelerating at lightning speed the pope has the speedo at 350k, everything vibrating, cars being overtaken left, right and centre when the the pope feels a tap on the shoulder. "Who's that!?" asks the pope. "It's Jesus, let me out of the car!"