None sadly :-( Apart from being charged £46 for filling up my 3 series BMW with petrol. Another fuel tax protest, anyone?
I told my team (of 1 person) I was about to resign. She looked like she was about to cry so quickly had to tell her I was joking!
I didn't turn up to work untill 11am. Then I came in and said 'Only joking, I'm not really ill'. Nobody saw the funny side.
Well, when I was drifting into conciousness this morning, I was planning out my day. Take the 250GTO for a spin, then breakfast with the missus (Kylie), then down to the studio to record a couple of tracks with the Van Halen brothers, a couple of hours sourcing personnel and equipment my trip to climb the North face of K2, a swim in my olympic sized swimming pool, then nip off to Monaco for dinner with a few of the F1 boys (what can I say, they need me!). Imagine to my suprise when I found out I lived in Kent, with a rusty Ferrari, a dead end job, and the only relief was meeting a bunch of berks at a pub in Kent tonight. I thought "hang on a mo, this must be some April fools joke, and someone has dropped me into the wrong life, as in reality I'm popular, wealthy, leisured, virile and handsome". I'm trying to get in touch with my lawyers (sorry, can't spell soliceter......silicitar...serlicitor...aw phuqit) so I can sue reality..... (it has been a long day!)
Ade - Very good! Stig - Get used to it like the rest of us. Your life is sad and revolves around this site!
Yeah right Tony. I hear you were trying to buy the rights to *****************! Besides if you stopped posting who would you send all your jokes too!
Tony"s got a bit slack on the joke front recently,come on Tone lets be aving ye!!! P.S. 355 is staying in Glenvarigill over the weekend(exhaust prob again)and they have kindly given me a Maser 4200 spider over this period,Pick it up at Edinburgh airport tomorrow evening anybody any thoughts on this car (its a manual by the way) This not an April fools joke as its after midday and my morals would not allow it. All the best Dave Mc
Here are a few to brighten fools day -- Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. -- A backward poet writes inverse. -- A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. -- Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. -- Practice safe eating - always use condiments. -- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. -- A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. -- A hangover is the wrath of grapes. -- Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. -- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? -- Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. -- Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. -- When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. -- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. -- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) -- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. -- In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. -- She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off! -- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. -- If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. -- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. -- When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. -- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. -- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. -- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under. -- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. -- Every calendar's days are numbered. -- A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine. -- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. -- He had a photographic memory that was never developed. -- A plateau is a high form of flattery. -- A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. -- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. -- Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. -- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. -- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. -- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Sorry Dave, been busy at work which is playing havoc with my Fchat time!Here's one just for you !! An Australian guy decides to travel around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and Jenny (the Australian Barmaid) takes his order, Fosters, and notices his accent. Over the course of the night they get to know each other quite well. At the end of Jenny's shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his place and have s*x with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 for s*x. Jenny is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees. The next night the guy turns up again, orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. Jenny remembers the night before and is only too happy toagree.This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in, orders Fosters and sits in the corner. Jenny thinks that may be she should pay him more attention and may be shecan then skank some more cash out of him again. So she goes over and sitsnext to him. She asks him where he's from in Australia and he tells her Melbourne. "So am I... What suburb in Melbourne?" "Glen Iris" he replies "That's amazing..." she says, "...so am I - what Street?" "Cameo Street" he replies "This is unbelievable..." she says, "... what number?" He says"Number 20" and she is totally astonished. "You are not going to believe this but I'm from Number 22 and my parents still live there!" "I know..." he says, "...your Father gave me $1,000 to give to you"
There is an April Fools 'joke' on Pistonheads which seems to have offended a few people! http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=89495&f=15&h=0&p=1
