Office Space: Annoying Co-workers?

There was this one guy, he took my red Swingline stapler. I told him I was going to burn the building down, but he didn't believe me.

 

But now he believes you, right?

Oh sorry - this is forbidden speech under the new policy...

 

Problem solved.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oca9k4c9WEU

Your welcome.

 

What new policy?

 

It is "The policy which shall not be spoken on this forum".

and yeah, I had some annoying coworkers in the day.

One time, this girl who always took candy from my desk without paying got fooled. I unwrapped an individual Reese's mini peanut butter cup and cut the bottom off. Then I replaced the peanut butter with powder for making Crystal Light lemonade and mashed the chocoalte bottom back over that. I wrapped it back up and left it on the edge of my desk. Within 5 minutes she took the bait and I was laughing when she got to the 'tart' center.

Another time, I went to work really early and this other annoying girl got there about 45 minutes before we officially opened. She did not know anyone was already in the office. So she let out a huge fart and a big "Ahhhhh" just before she turned the corner to see me with a big grin....

And then this one time, the first girl won a portable cd player at a convention. she kept talking about the extra bass feature. So me and my friend went up to the parking deck and used chartpak tape to do those bass line designs all over the windows, wheels, mirrors, etc... It was a 1985 Honda accord 4 door. I could go on with other stories, but you never know who might be reading.

BT

 

I used to have a manager who would tap in and listen in on some of my phone conversations so in random dead air times I would say weird things about him to see his reactions from across the room. Pretty fun.

 

If I described what I've been through, you'd think I was making it up... so I won't waste my time.

If it gets bad, find another job.

 

Stephanie-
You gotta give us details. Annoying coworker threads rock.

I work full time for the National Guard. The recruiter who works here...oh my... He insists that American soldiers found 380 tons of sarin gas in Iraq, but the liberal media won't let anyone report it. (Not even the Rush Limbaugh types?!)

We were talking about astronomy when he saw my giant binoculars. I mentioned Jupiter and its huge radiation field. He said that's why he doesn't believe men went to the moon. The radiation would kill humans. Ugh. He's a moon hoaxer.

We're both tankers. He swears that he has seen someone dunk a roll of toilet paper in CLP*, put it on the end of a tank main gun round, and fire it. He claims it left a trail of flames down the range. No way. There's no way a flame could stay lit in open air at those speeds. Tell him that and he'll get pissed and ask 'You callin' me a liar?" ..."Yes!"( *a marginally flammable cleaning oil for guns)

While arguing about religion, he said "Well how do you explain Nostrodamus?"

His wife just had a baby. She went into labor at 3AM and called her husband, because...wait for it...he was fishing with his dad. That's where he spends all his off time. He lives 2 hours from the armory so he stays in the armory most of the time. Yes, he leaves his wife and 2 infant children at home for days at a time, then gets time off and goes to fishing tournaments with his dad.

Total ****** bag

 

You're a tease. LOL

Seriously. Write out 3 line items. It will make you feel better, plus we're all just dying to know.

 

Ask her if she wants to go out for a drink after work, and if she says yes then tell her to meet you somewhere where no one can see you two (no witness) then bit the crap out of her

 

Everybody works with someone they can't stand. That's part of life in the business area. Avoid her and be nice. I had a boss one time that was a real jerk and I would make up little sayings that would help me cope. Most of them were not at all flattering about him.

 

I'll get back to this one...after my "most hated person" is gone

 

Feel better now, Stephanie? <grin>

I guess I've never worked with a certifiable nutcase. My biggest problems have been with idiot bosses. Idiot co-workers I can deal with. They can't tell me what to do. But idiot bosses...oh boy. That's why I'm starting a business of my own in a few years.

 

Sounds like you, Suzie (not Suze), and Elaine all need to meet with Peterson to figure this thing out.

BT

 

A good, and fun, tactic to use with the self centered coworker is to always relate their problems back to you! If she says, "Oh, my boyfriend thinks I'm cheating on him." you say, "Do you think your boyfriend would have an affair with someone like ME?" then realte all the times someone has looked at your cleavage for more than like 2 seconds. Or if she says "I need help with this work." You say, "I have always been so great with work, especially delegating it, now get to it!". Prop yourself up as if you need to insert yourself into every situation she has. Bore her with endless glorification of your life. Eventually she will tire out and move on to some other coworker.
BT

 

headphones

 

Next time she's whining, say to her 'I like your style'. Then shoot her with double barrelled fingers.

Failing that, I have a really big axe I could lend you...

 

Exactly. I bring my Ipod to work every day. There are 2 people stuffed in the cube next to me that are part of a call center (we are working on leasing more space). Those people drive me insane. It can be kind of amusing to hear their personal problems that they talk about constantly. Well it is amuising for about 2 min, then just really annoying.

 

Not only does it block out noise, but it prevents the annoying people from approaching you more than necessary. Win - win.