One crazy evening, a buick regal and a Mondial...

It's 8:00 pm, and I am winding up a wonderful day of driving of Mondial. Its warm out, the stars are shining and I have my beautiful wife in the passenger seat. We pull up to a navy Blue Buick Regal with a walker protruding out the rear passenger window. I am feeling cocky... At the stoplight, the light is bright red, casting a devilish silhouette on this little old lady's face. She looks at me, I look at her...we both know what each other's thinking. She revs the engine and her 3.0 Liter American V-6 awakes from a life of slumber, it is a symphony of compromises and loose tolerances with shades of Hoover. It intimidates me, but I show no fear. I rev back, but she doesn't flinch.

She opens her window and yells.... WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN, YOUR A$$ IS MINE!! Her head swivels to me, then swivels back at the light in a perfect mechanical motion...like a well oiled Griffen & Howe bolt action rifle. In the eerie silence, I can swear I feel the breeze as her Handicapped parking tag rocks back and forth like a pendulum trying to lull me to sleep.

BANG, light turns green and we are off. She is fiesty all right, but I have her in my sights. We approach the first intersection and we exchange paint, BAM to her driver's door, BAM to my right quarterpanel. My wife screams, but I will have none of it "NOT NOW HONEY, I HAVE HER RIGHT WHERE I WANT HER!" and then in an instant its over, I miss a shift, and bits of Ferrari start flying off the engine. I stop defeated. Grandma stops as well, looks over and......

Ok, as you probably guessed, this didn't happen. But this is the dream I had last last night...the dream I had as opposed to actually driving my car. Something I can't currently do. You see, DESPITE HAVING 2 ACRES TO WORK WITH, MY CONTRACTOR PUT ALL 1000 SQUARE FEET OF PAVING STONES IN FRONT OF MY G&DDAMN GARAGE. So now, short of lining my house with dynamite, there is no fricking way for me to get my car out until he is done!!!

But I digress...whew that felt better, enjoy your day.