operated a maisively stupid blonde haired eejut puppet that was hanging out of his bum, smelling vaguely of
Suddenly Rolf Harris murdered Richard Chamberlain for comments Richard made about animal hospital. The body parts were handed over to Rikki to
heat in a large vat in order ferment, and extract the non organic components in order to manufacture a new type of evil super-NOS, which, when injected in to the engine at high pressure, causes
nappies are. That's the last time I bring Bonnie Langford on a trip abroad thought Rikki. The only way to get back to Britain with a boot full of Richard Chamberlains bits would be to convince the border guards that
The story so far Chaa was a.... bit pissed off....... at Angela and they all lived happily ever after they were caught banging stevef and stevep's heads together And neither noticed. That SteveF had deleted his breakfast plate picture and could never post it again The end lets have a snack break said the lonely old man as he touched himself in a platonic way as it was an itch which he scratched furiously until his skin disappeared and revealed the innards of the cyber robot inside him All was going to plan, he contemplated bore the world to death with brekkie pic until he got banned for a week from fchat and stevef was no more till later on... reincarnated as a cheeky, chubby chap with loads of pies to eat. but has a proper ferrari 12 cylinders and doesn't he go on about it caused by a fault in his robot electrical circuitry ade who's doesn't know made joe macari a millionare who's doing macari's lawn then? The Sultan of Brunei but he's on tonys patch in a dress no! that's Tony again with a slight sun tan Out of a bottle Stig gets his brekkie from a swarthy looking foreign gentleman bearing unusual gifts stolen from a shandy drinking southerner with an enormous wart on his..... very very enormous nose which fortunately hid the warts caused by the dose of VD he caught from the bottom of Dale Winton's pet poodle while engaging in bartering and haggling for a spellchecker made in china Egg fried rice number 69 please said the overweight government official to the Vatican. Who sent me these? we all did And they went "nip, nip, nip", and then all went home for tea. after first giving the buxom prostitute a piece of 4 x 2 to deal with the gimp she had stored in the cupboard for her rabid pirhana bees and the partridge in the pear tree Get me down from here said David Cassidy I'm needed back in the 70s and does anyone know a good gardener who can service this Delorean wthout taking the engine out karl verdi ferrari he can **** anything up and he also knows where you live so watch out! Meanwhile the giant pygmies were almost about to stick a ferret to an Anglican bishop who enjoyed having a non-Anglican bishop up his parish. But the funny thing is that Des O'Connor wanted to buy a harmonica to practise giving blow ...fish, mouth to mouth resucitation on the beach babes ample bosom. Two things kept popping to mind; the smell of napalm in the morning mixed with Old Spice. What a delicious combination when Indian cuisine is firing out of your arse like sparrows out of a suitcase whilst Lulu sat naked throwing jelly at aled jones just after his gonads had dropped from a great hight onto her Flat voice, flat testicles. He didn't need to be reminded of the vasectomy that went drastically right, allowing him to sing wrong and transformed him into a diva without a beaver. A glass of hormones was drunk in celebration, while Elvis snorted lomg lines of coke off the belly of a Water melon painted lime green like a lime suddenly he fell onto a vat of boiling yak turds boiling next time him, the smell was like a vat of boiling yak turds being boiled with a sense of carefree abandon, whilst a small romanian child cried "I dont belive in Papal recidivism, and his sister said "aaaarrrrggggghhhhh! You know I'm scared of the beans! What do you know about the digestive tract of a beagle?" "Well I've been known to carry out a full internal examination using only my abnormaly large and sensitive tongue. However I have also been known to use my epiglotis to stir soup. Adds to the flavour I find. Whatever you do though, never ever dip it in when its hot because it will melt like a chocolate digestive dipped in volacanic magma, whilst trying to make sense of the last post, he held his breath till he turned blue, then black, then orange.... then green... he was always a big fan of Rainbow, he especially liked it when Bungle climbed under the sheets with a large boner which Zippy would grab greedily and gently suck his cloth covered thumb held together by a piece of string and an array of small tacks and some sticky tape that seemsd to get stickier whenever zippy went to the sauna. he thought about compaining to Kofi Anan but Kofi had been moved up to head of Light Entertainment and wasn't going to give up his new job without a fight.But Kofi had a plan, if only he could wear womens clothing and his son was not cought with his trousers down meanwhile back in gotham city batman was mixing up a vodka redbull in preparation for Cat Woman coming round. He'd been greasing the Bat pole all week in anticipation.There was something odd about The shine it had taken on. It was almost as if it had been zymoled by dale naked, the mullet streaks were too pure, too long.... it must have been dale, batman was immediately suspcious with a torque wrench in his hand he very carefully checked the torque of each bolt on the batmobile and found that The car had belonged to hudson so the wheel was fcuked. The next day the commissioner rang. There was trouble in town so we knew Rob Lay was going to be on the lookout for a suitable breeding ground for small chickens, however this would only lead to fowl play, so instead he hatched a cunning plan to take over the world which involved, chickens, zymol and catwoman with the use of a packet of swan vestas and a turkey baster. But he needed an accomplice who could light a match and scale high bulidings, but... mol man had made the buildings too slippery to scale. If only he could get a radioactive spider to bite him, he could scream "OOUUCCHH!", at the top of his voice. Still, at least Rob had plenty of soothing Zymol to cake over his festering piles, which, on occasion, could be found lurking way down near his socks. "Ahhhh, what blessed pieces of tarmac would now fetch on Ebay. If only he'd carried his shovel when the Pope gave him a wank to catch his enormous load that he could bottle and sell to unsuspecting Ukrainian tourists to use as Zymol. The Lord uses it therefore it must be great stuff, after all, the Nuns use it to when they polish the verger. DAle awoke from his sleep covered in an oily, smell byproduct of industrial varnishing, often used to treat the nuns herpes after they had first come into contact with infected Zymol, manufactured by the evil Dr Swissol, who wasn't Swiss he was from Droitwich. Suddenly it all kicked off on FChat with RL accusing Chaa of being a gay troll and causing trouble when an old friend takes him out silently,while i am at home watching eastenders me lud But only after i... had scones and fairy cakes for my tea with my pet gimp, Angelis who I occasionally let up for air...........ey?? because I normally hold his nose when he is giving me a verbal bashing regarding the superioriy of black 348 After narrowly avoiding revealing the secrets of his sex life with Angelis, Chaa removed the rubber from his really quite small feet and put them up to start watching telly his favourite programme about fresh flower arranging had just come on, giving him an idea! Daffodils and.... 355 belt servicing; just how Tony likes it. Still, it's a shame verdis don't fetch the engine out to do it but charge you for the privilege. The last time Karl Verdi had all his staff put to death, over a dispute concerning a small bloke chucking patio slabs through the showroom window and shouting... "Hey I'm chucking patio slabs through the showroom window" whilst my mower rusts at home, you..... non maintained lawnmower owner get tonyh to trim her bush, and while he's at it cut her lawn, meanwhile at verdi's bush trimming service.Big question is whether to remove knickers, or leave them in place. Tony prefers... the long handled tree loppers. Not much good for anything is our Tony, but he means well!Struggles a bit with... putting his wonder bra on, but eventually he did it, but his lace thong was chafing him so he ased the gusset and popped out for clive your dinners ready not until I've had 9 pints, it's not.But back to Tony's gusset dilemma, he popped out to air his thighs, although... he really wanted to cut verdi's lawn but as it was newly patio'd, he painted it instead, just to keep in with the old.... Suddenly when all seemed to be going well the moderator closed the thread for a laugh.Everybody shouted "You bloody tosser"So he re-opened it and everyone cried "all hail batman" meanwhile still managed to get abuse elsewhere on the board, but what are mods for if not.... posting the nreakfast pic whilst stevef writes another whinging letter to the ... horse dentist about the foc who ignored it, just as everone usually does, until he read the threat to... blow up the vets and ease the mutant hamsters which would decimate the local pie factory, leaving... stevef to start eating his own body parts but then again no-one has that big an appetite even the giant squid found in Japanese waters yesterday would baulk at a meal that size, but maybe small pieces fed .... from the dlicate hand of that gimp angelis would help whilst angelis continued to carve an effigy of Chaa from Steves' thigh bone so that.. he could worship daily and think about driving a 355 although undoubtedly he would lack the talent to handle the power, let alone getting confused with the extra gear, but he could always... just get me to drive it. I suppose Id need some kind of payment in the form of.. Joe Macari gift vouchers. Redeemable at any branch of Joe Macari's. Not to be confused with a herd of baby penguins. Once I tried to Pay Joe with afforementioned currency, he was not happy as one of the penguins Was out of date.I then had to take it back to Tesco to be destroyed in a natural but very painful way, this reminded me of the day i got my cock caught in the lift at work whilst giving my personal masseur a guided tour of my stud chicken farm, from which... Bernard Mathews had quite an amazing selections of stuffings, oddly one called... ooooh matron, does it really belong in there? and another called... Bernards Ball Juice...its Bootiful. It was his best seller until Ann Summers released the Rampant Rooster. Tupperware do a nice line in head-gear for drunks that can also be used... to catch stray jizz when your hand shandy goes terribly wrong. they also produce bottled hand shandy from a Z-list celebrity of your choice, but not des o connor cos he's sterile after the record producer kicked him in the nuts following his last album. Now Tom O'Connor he's got an interesting tattoo on his ear lobe of every single funny joke he ever told. his granny once did 800 blokes in the gang bang world record only to suffer having to listen to SteveF bangining on about V12, whilst she was having a cup of tea. Meanwhile, not more than a few light years away, Ballsac the might Gonadic warrior was inserting the inanimate carbon rod into the receptical which resembled a boron-indium polycycloid uber-matrix which was slightly bent due to graham's aggressive use of his decat Capristo, but at least the world as we know it was still OK. Somewhere up north stevep was masturbating whilst Thinking about his breakfast, especialy considering that eggs can easily be imagined as came from a ducks nether regions but then quickly he started to remember the night before , the drugs, the women, the booze. If only he'd experienced any of those it might not have been such a bad night. it was all going so well until Rolf Harris said "can you tell what it is yet" as he whitewashed the the poor sheep in an attempt to not post quick enough and cause the reponses to get mixed and missed whilst the aborigine sucked on Rolfs digereedoo very hard making rolf laugh that the story still followed even as he started to blow his #308 09-29-2005, 11:06 PM stevep F1 Veteran Silver Subscribed Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Geordie Land Full Name: steve Posts: 7,749 Quote: Originally Posted by jrs steve , steve , steve jrs is too slow posting, i know he is nearly 60 but tahts no excuse for him to be slower than a slow thing on a slow day during slow week when suddenly Rolf blew his white paint all over Steve again who shouted good job that wasnt your jism rolf, to whisch rolf replied i save that for hazy he's a trucker from hell with a taste for my aussie brew but first I have to clean the cheese off my helmet or I usually make stevep do it. JRS could also do it but he's waaaaaay too slow so to punish him i put him in a room with dale and fergy to discuss car polishing and you all know what happens when you put three cock pieces together in one room..they automatically mould into one giant cock piece and start rubbing up Rolf making him start to spontaneously combust and simutaneously burst into the chorus of tie me kangaroo down sport whilst changing TV channels to watch the international farting competition 2005, also known as The SteveF Guff-A-Thon 2005, where the winner gets a framed breakfast picture, a pie and a free foc membership for one day only so that the winner gets to rub shoulders with Fergy and chat about crap posts LeeP sat up in bed, he looked at the clock and thought is it time to loose my temper again or should i look at some porn and have a pina colada. He then had a cunning plan. The umbrella in the cocktail glass could be used to pick tha dangle berries from his gaping hole of the man who he had previously slept with whilst thinking of warm applie pies. suddenly leep's male lover walked in and screamed, I love you, why am I having an affair with SteveF and SteveP at once even LeeP's lover answered cos you dont satisfy my Lee, your willie is too small and i want really well endowed men like stevef and stevep Meanwhile, back at the ranch ... a plate of salad was eaten by Richard Chamberlain who was depressed because he'd had no TV successes since The Thornbirds. There might be one man eating carnivor that could walk up to great ape and challenge him to a fight whilst Richard Chamberlain watched on for kicks. Perhaps a long shot, but he secretly wanted to get on Big Brother to kick start his career. If only he'd gone for false breasts instead of those ridiculous ear lobe extensions. How ironic he thought it was only yesterday that the beatles wrote yesterday, but yesterday once more was never the Carpenters best hit either. Richard Chamberlain decided that his lack of acting, singing and songwriting skills would make him ideal for BB7. The phone rang, it was Davina Daniels who, according to Google, is a UK transvestite. His/her involvement began when richard had been to Bangkok for a windscreen wiper for his Ford Zephyr. They were dead cheap over there. Wasn't too cheap when you took into account the flight but logic wasn't Richard's best point. The man on the wiper stall said "love u long time ....$3" then you come plenty", whilst inserting the pingpong balls into her table tennis training kit and handing over the secret code. Richard had passed the test but where was Red haired raver, Rikki Lamb, as he hadn't seen him for a long time since the meeting where they reminded each other that it was 3 words minimum! Nevertheless Rikki had a secret. Rolf Harris was back on the scene and this time he was a Welshman. Tie me daffodil down boyo.Rikki, Richard and Rolf all in Bangkok at the same time? This could only mean the holy trinity; the father, the son, and the holy goat. But the dangers of bringing together three such luminaries could cause a rent in the space time continuim which would only cause further anguish for Richard in his quest to get back on TV. Richard had a cunning plan to eliminate the other 2 members of the sect plotting against him, he would firstly try to kill them by secondly, if that didnt work, make a sex video with the bangkok babe (Davina) , this would have the effect of boring them to death and entering them as contestants on Countdown. Death by boredom, the ultimate revenge. Muwhahhhhaaahhha Only one slight problem, his ally on the dark side, twice nightly Whitely was dead. The only other person that could host Countdown and carry out the dastardly deed was rod hull but alas he'd got his washing powders mixed up. Was going for the Aerial and ended up with Bounce Perhaps Emu was infact not a puppet and he operated a maisively stupid blonde haired eejut puppet that was hanging out of his bum, smelling vaguely of Last night's vindaloo Suddenly Rolf Harris murdered Richard Chamberlain for comments Richard made about animal hospital. The body parts were handed over to Rikki to heat in a large vat in order ferment, and extract the non organic components in order to manufacture a new type of evil super-NOS, which, when injected in to the engine at high pressure, causes uncontrollable fits of giggling, especially when the passenger poos all over the windscreen which is inevitable realy when you consider just how much the cost of nappies are. That's the last time I bring Bonnie Langford on a trip abroad thought Rikki. The only way to get back to Britain with a boot full of Richard Chamberlains bits would be to convince the border guards that i was a psychotic serial slasher, and if they didnt let me through I would
Having cunningly disguised Richard Chamberlain's body parts as shrubberies Rikki, Rolf Harris and Bonnie Langford made their way back to England in the 348. They arranged a secret meeting with Zymol man to discuss who would take Richard's place on celebrity Big Brother. Rolf suggested
Jade from big brother as she needed the dough and it woud be a real laugh watching her trying to pronounce conundrum
And very wortwhile it was too! For those of us who have allowed our collective creative juices to flow freely!And ramped up our post count to obscene levels! For those of you who have not understood, appreciated nor enjoyed this thread........SOD OFF & do some polishing! Now, back to the story. Pray continue Graham.....
