Ought I marry the gal?

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Nibblesworth, Feb 9, 2004.

  1. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3

    Nov 29, 2002
    Southern California
    Full Name:
    We've been dating for two years. Literally moved in together on our first date - she asked me to stay the night, and 700 nights later I still haven't gone home.

    I love her, she loves me. We have a fantastic sex life, we treat each other well, and, most of all, she puts up with me. Imagine that!

    I've got a year of undergrad left, and then law school. I'm 28, she's 24, so we're not exactly "young, dumb, and full of cum" (as we used to say in the Corps), and I've been thinking about it for a while.

    Anyone here get married while still in school? Any thoughts?
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  3. JSinNOLA

    JSinNOLA F1 World Champ
    Sponsor Lifetime Rossa

    Mar 18, 2002
    Denver, CO
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    Everything sounds like it is going well......but one thing, it seems odd to me that you are asking on a public forum. It tends to set off a few flags. How do your friends and relatives weigh in on this? That seems like a more reasonable place to start off.

    Best of luck and take care
  4. JSinNOLA

    JSinNOLA F1 World Champ
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    Mar 18, 2002
    Denver, CO
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    Hey, I just realized we pretty much have an identical # of posts on Fchat. Weird;)
  5. judge4re

    judge4re F1 World Champ

    Apr 26, 2003
    Never home
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    Dr. Dumb Ass
    What the hell are you asking us for? We're car guys, not relationship experts.
  6. wax

    wax Four Time F1 World Champ
    Advising Moderator

    Jul 20, 2003
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    Dirty Harry
    Hitch. Ain't no udder wimmenfolk gonna put up with ya. ;)
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  8. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3

    Nov 29, 2002
    Southern California
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    John - I would ask my parents, but my mother would freak out - she digs my lady. Unless I'm positive about doing something like this, I won't even plant the seed in my mammy's mind. :)

    My pals, in addition, would freak out, because we've got bets on who will fall first to the powers of a gal.

    I figured, what the hell, you guys will be objective with me.
  9. Tyson

    Tyson Formula Junior

    Jun 5, 2003
    Go for it!!
  10. TimN88

    TimN88 F1 Veteran

    Jun 12, 2001
    Full Name:
    I think that if you have to ask, maybe youre not ready yet. Go with your gut feeling on this one.
  11. GrigioGuy

    GrigioGuy Splenda Daddy
    Global Moderator Owner

    Nov 26, 2001
    E ' ' '/ F
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    Pikop Andropof
    It's expensive to marry, and more expensive to unmarry. There is nobody lonelier than a person in a bad marriage. Be very, very, very sure you want to do this.
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  13. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Global Moderator
    Global Moderator Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 10, 2003
    Babcock Ranch, FL
    Full Name:
    If you're getting pressure from her, think about it.

    If you think it's time, and she does too, go for it.

    If it's working the way it is, and there's no pressure at this time to get married ,what does it hurt to wait and enjoy things the way they are?

    Last but not least, I'm wondering, did you ask your priest, rabbi or spiritual advisor which car to buy?
  14. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
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    Ryan Alexander
    Well, the ultimate decision is up to you based on your own circumstances and dedication. So I'm going to dodge that part of the question, since I don't know either of you well enough to make that call (which means at the best-friend/closer-than-family point, and I'd be weary of the family too... to make it quick my wife's 17yr old sister came and visited while we were engaged and was being unbearably bratty, we didn't hit it off and she actually tried to talk her out of marrying me. Then the sister went to the family reunion... and then even my wife's uncles and grandparents tried to talk her out of it...). My family was excited though, and I'm sure your mom will be too. Even if her family isn't, they tend to warm up after you get in to law school and they see that you're going to provide and not just all talk.

    But, if what you want is advice whether marriage is good as an undergrad, my answer is a wholehearted 'yes.' It changes you in a lot of ways and IMO all for the better as a student. Things change socially, and suddenly it doesn't matter if you don't impress that hot chick in class and all the other showy cock-of-the-roost behavior you do as a single guy to impress women. I became an uber-student and buckled down to get into law school.

    There's also a sense of emotional security and stability that a good marriage provides that's hard to describe otherwise. Not like having a girlfriend, although perhaps kind of similar after a few years (we met in Feb, married Aug).

    Although in my section at school I'm a notable minority (I think we counted 6-7 married and another 5-6 long-term engaged out of 80), I like being one of the married people. Even though I don't drink, I think it certainly keeps you away from being an alcoholic like other law singles activities seem to push you to (they have so many drinking events every week some of these guys are going to join AA and the Bar at the same time). Plus, I can only imagine it would be much more complex courting a career woman at law school (maybe more set in their ways/goals/unwilling to meet halfway).

    If you have any more questions, feel free to post or PM.
  15. 96impalaSS

    96impalaSS F1 Rookie

    Dec 8, 2003
    Full Name:
    I dont see any problem him asking us. He sees us as friends. And of course this is something you would ask your friends. I say if the feelings are right and youve been with her long enough go for it. We all know what the worst can happen is, and thats what prenups are for.
  16. KMS

    KMS Formula Junior

    Dec 22, 2003
    It wouldn't hurt to hold off.
  17. Schatten

    Schatten F1 World Champ
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    Apr 3, 2001
    Austin, TX
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    my vote is for the grigio titanio.

    oooh wait, this is relationship advice? I really shouldn't even be responding. =/

    if you have no doubts, by all means go for it. if there is the slightest doubt - ask yourself why. even so, you can go out on a limb...

  18. Dom

    Dom F1 Veteran
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    Nov 5, 2002
    Southern California
    Full Name:
    Dom V.
    Most people who get married in school wind up getting divorced later (IIRC, I believe the statistic was within 5-7 years).

    That said, I married my wife 9 years ago when I was a graduate student.

    Do you love her?

    If so, you've got my blessing.

  19. Schatten

    Schatten F1 World Champ
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    Apr 3, 2001
    Austin, TX
    Full Name:
    I've seen this happen, and I've seen a few just work because everything fit. But my personal opinion on this would be - 'most people who get married in school...', well, they fail because they are in a state where their minds and ideas are shaping rapidly due to exposure of various inputs and even more various opinions.
  20. matkat

    matkat Formula 3

    Mar 18, 2003
    Full Name:
    Dave McGuire
    If you have to ask here then it"s obvious that you should not go ahead,if as you say everything is great why ruin it with a marriage?
  21. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

    I like what Tillman said.

    Everyone of my friends who got married in their twenties is now divorced and in debt.

    From the FWIW files........
  22. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3

    Nov 29, 2002
    Southern California
    Full Name:

    Ryalex hit the nail on the head. I don't have too many doubts about the girl or the relationship - like I said, we've got a great thing going on.

    My main concern was whether or not getting married as an undergrad was smart or not. In reality, nothing physical would change, as we already live together and share all the bills/housework/cat litter cleaning (nasty!). I'm just under that impression, and I don't know where it came from, that getting married in college is a no-no. It's probably from watchin al those movies about a married couple in college and how hard it is - who know.

    Anyways, Ryalex, your insight is very helpful. I don't do a whole lot of partying as it is, so the dristraction that being single causes does not effect me much. But, I think, having the need to to truly buckle down in law school, being tied down might have the added benefit of keeping me focused on the goal.

    Thanks for all the insights - even the funny ones! I appreciate it...
  23. writerguy

    writerguy F1 Veteran

    Sep 30, 2003
    Full Name:
    Aww Ain't that cute

    Looking down the road with a bunch of Lil Rednecks running round the trailer (smirk)
    But hey if it is right go and do it, If she willingly puts up with you....

    Best of luck Capital R
  24. LAfun2

    LAfun2 F1 Veteran

    Oct 31, 2003
    Full Name:
    Don't you think while being married in law school might hamper and cause extra stress in your academics? Maybe being single for those 3 years and just concentrating on your studies might be a smarter idea?
  25. wings

    wings Formula Junior

    Dec 13, 2003
    NO! Don,t do it. Buy her a house if you have to but stay single till you are much older and enjoy the ride!
  26. normhuff

    normhuff Formula Junior

    Dec 14, 2003
    Peoria, IL
    Full Name:
    J. Norman Huff, Esq.
    Post her picture. Then we'll let you know...
  27. sherpa23

    sherpa23 F1 Veteran
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    May 28, 2003
    Full Name:
    I say 355 and F40.

    Go ahead and do it.
  28. paulie_b

    paulie_b F1 Veteran
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 13, 2003
    Jupiter, FL
    Full Name:
    Paul Bianco
    I second the a picture!

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