Guaranteed to work Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world. Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? She will say, "Why?" You will reply, "Cause I could see myself in your pants. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch? Do you know what would look good on you? Me. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I? Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. Excuse me, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be? Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position. Fuc*k me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you? Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on! Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? I love every bone in your body - especially mine I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long! If said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays? Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass! Is your dad a farmer? (No, why?) Because you got some melons. Let's bypass all the bull**** and just get naked. Tickle your pu*sy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather." Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body? Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under You know, I've got the f, the c and the k, so all I need is you Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you have a nice set of buns. You've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across. Life is like ******. When it gets hard, "Fuc*k it". May I end this sentence with a proposition? My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it. My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast! Nice shoes, wanna fuc*k? Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes. Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me? That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd becoming too! The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.