News

Pick up lines.

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Fan512bbi, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,080
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    Guaranteed to work :D

    Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.
    Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
    Do you have a mirror in your pocket? She will say, "Why?" You will reply,
    "Cause I could see myself in your pants.
    Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
    Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
    Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
    Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
    Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
    Excuse me, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
    Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
    Fuc*k me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
    Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
    Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.
    How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
    I love every bone in your body - especially mine
    I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
    If said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
    If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
    If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
    Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
    Is your dad a farmer? (No, why?) Because you got some melons.
    Let's bypass all the bull**** and just get naked.
    Tickle your pu*sy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
    Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
    Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
    Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
    Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
    You know, I've got the f, the c and the k, so all I need is you
    Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you have a nice set of buns.
    You've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across.
    Life is like ******. When it gets hard, "Fuc*k it".
    May I end this sentence with a proposition?
    My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
    My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
    Nice shoes, wanna fuc*k?
    Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.
    Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
    Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?
    That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd becoming too!
    The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
    There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.
     
  2. To remove this ad click here.

  3. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,080
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    More :)

    You look familiar, have we had sex before?
    Are you a lumberjack? Cuz you're giving me wood!
    Roses are red, misquitos are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
    Motion with one finger for a girl to come to you. When, or if she comes, say: I just made you come with one finger. Imagine what I could do with two.
    Find a girl at the bar, walk over to her, and say "you put the 'hot ass' in my shot glass.
    Guy pulls out a quarter"if i flip this coin what are the chances of me getting head?"
    If you were floor boards i would take out all the nails and screw you.
    I want to kiss your belly button, and move all the way down to your lips.
    As long as i have a face, u alwayz have a place to sit.
    Please tell your tits to stop looking at my eyes.
    Baby, Ive got and eight inch tounge and i can breathe through my ears.
    I've got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works?
    All those curves, and me with no brakes.
    Although you seem content, you also seem quite alone over here. Can I interrupt your reverie?
    (Approach a group of women) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
    Are my undies showing? ["No."] "Would you like them to?"
    Are those fu*k me eyes, or fu*k you eyes?
    Are those Guess jeans? 'Cause guess who wants to get into 'em.
    Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.
    Are we related? Do you want to be?
    Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
    Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
    Are you a farmer? No, 'cuz you sure know how to raise a cock.
    Are you a horse? (No) Can I ride you anyway?
    Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood!
    Are you a Pokemon?? Cuz i'd sure like to pikachu!!
    Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
    Are you an Emerson? Because emmerson are some nice tits!
    Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
    Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
    Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night.
    Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
     
  4. Remy Zero

    Remy Zero Two Time F1 World Champ

    Apr 26, 2005
    21,745
    KL, Malaysia
    Full Name:
    MC Cool Breeze
    do u believe in love at 1st sight, or shall i walk by u again?
     
  5. rollsorferrari?

    rollsorferrari? F1 Veteran

    Jun 5, 2006
    9,847
    St. Louis
    Full Name:
    Scott
  6. TexasF355F1

    TexasF355F1 Four Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Feb 2, 2004
    49,131
    Houston
    Full Name:
    Jason
    "I bet I can guess your weight?" (How?) "By picking you up tonight." (If she laughs) "I like the original line better." (What's that?) "How much?"
     
  7. To remove this ad click here.

  8. djui5

    djui5 F1 Veteran

    Aug 9, 2006
    5,410
    Phoenix, Arizona
    "Hey, lets head back to my house, and bring your friends because my face seats 5"
     
  9. Remy Zero

    Remy Zero Two Time F1 World Champ

    Apr 26, 2005
    21,745
    KL, Malaysia
    Full Name:
    MC Cool Breeze
    your software turns mine into hardware.. :D :D
     
  10. Lee in Texas

    Lee in Texas Formula Junior

    Oct 21, 2006
    651
    near Austin, TX
    Full Name:
    Lee
    From one of DEJ Productions' lame-ass shark movies: "I'm beat. What do you say I take you home and eat your p*ssy?" It worked. Man, I gotta try that one.
     
  11. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    58,946
    In front of you
    Full Name:
    BCHC
    Heard this one once (regrettably, not twice) at a party in Malibu....

    You know what fu*ks like a tiger and winks?

    .......


    ;)
     
  12. To remove this ad click here.

  13. PeterS

    PeterS Four Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Jan 24, 2003
    40,298
    95370
    Full Name:
    PeterS
    All you guys need is one line: " Can I buy you a LOT of drinks? ". Done, in the bag, end of work!
     
  14. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,503
    Between 2 Implants
    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    BS, all i say is - hey baby, wanna f**k. works 1 percent of the time.
    watch I ll prove it !!!! Hey Pete, wanna f**k ?
     
  15. Hiney69

    Hiney69 Rookie

    Apr 3, 2005
    16
    Full Name:
    Hiney
    take a seat on my lap and we will talk about the first thing that pops up
     
  16. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    58,946
    In front of you
    Full Name:
    BCHC
    LOL! What happens when you finally find that blind 1%'er and she realizes you can't get it up after getting kicked in the balls the other 99 times?
     
  17. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,503
    Between 2 Implants
    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    i would be forced to use a fenwick fishing rod, with a bobber dangling off the tip.
     
  18. TexasF355F1

    TexasF355F1 Four Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Feb 2, 2004
    49,131
    Houston
    Full Name:
    Jason
    My dad's told me about a friend of his in high school. The guy would sit under the stairs, the ones you can see up and see the people, and would choose the girls wearing the best panties. He would introduce himself and ask them if they wanted to go back to his house and take a shower with him.

    My dad said he was amazed at how often it worked. My dad claims he never tried this, but I know there's a dark side my dad hasn't ever told me.
     
  19. PeterS

    PeterS Four Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Jan 24, 2003
    40,298
    95370
    Full Name:
    PeterS
    Uhhhh,,....................OK!
     
  20. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,080
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    Are you cold? Let me be your electric blanket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
    Are you free tonight or am I gonna have to pay?
    Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
    Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
    Are you in to Casual Sex or should I dress up?
    Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
    Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
    Aren't you the girl/guy who is having sex with that really good looking guy/girl? (No.) Want to be?
    As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
    As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
    At the dinner table, (if you eat together) pick up the bread and say, "Wanna roll?"
    At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
    Baby you're a sex crime waiting to happen.
    Baby, I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your
    electrical outlet.
    Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself
    Shop".
    Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
    Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
    Baby... wanna come for a ride?
    Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
    Boy, it sure is hot and stuffy in here. Would you like to take a cold shower?
    Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
    Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
    Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
    Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
    Can I please be your slave tonight?
    Can I see your tan lines?
    Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
    Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
    Can you believe it? It's been more than fifteen minutes since I've had sex.
    Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
    Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
    Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
    Clothes look heavy on ya, want me to relieve some!!!
    Come back to my place so I can give you a lovely parting gift.
    Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
     
  21. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,503
    Between 2 Implants
    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    slut
     
  22. Meister

    Meister F1 Veteran
    Silver Subscribed

    Apr 27, 2001
    5,448
    Duluth, MN
    Full Name:
    The Meister
    At least someone in touch w/ reality.

    Due to my foggy memeory..... I don't recall the details of the actuall study, but there was a true to life scientific project on pick up lines 10-20 years ago. The results were basically that the most effective lines included the words "Hello" or "HI"......nothing about windex and your pants, demon sperm...or 69 cents... Women respond (as do men) to genuine people of the opposite sex.

    Some cute line about tan lines might get you lucky from time to time, but in the end all it will get you is "unhappy w/ half your stuff".
     

Share This Page