How does a Redneck push the snooze button? . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . He throws a rock at the rooster! My girlfriend's son came up with that one this evening. I laughed my a$$ off!
Jeb was driving past his cornfield and noticed his neighbor in the middle of the field rowing a boat. He shouted at him to get the hell out of my cornfield. His neighbor yelled back and said 'I'ma corn fish'en'. Jeb then yelled back and said 'If I could swim, I'd go out there and kick your a$$!'
True story. I was working at Blockbuster video years ago and we received a Jeff Foxworthy video to rent. However, the video was only like three and a half minutes long and it scanned in our computers at the full rental price which was something like four bucks at the time. We would have to inform the customers how short the video was so they wouldn't get all pissed off when they watched it. Anyway, a couple came in one night and picked up the video to rent. The woman was dressed pretty normal, the guy had on the big cowboy hat, belt buckle, striped shirt, boots, the whole deal. I told them about how short the video was. The woman asked me why it was so short. I replied "Because that's the attention span of a redneck." The guy looked at his woman and asked "What did he say?" Thanks for proving my point.
