Really funny email exchange between myself and idiot realtor!

Below you will see a few back and forth emails between myself and a real estate agent after I inquired about a property they listed on Craigslist.

I decided to go off on this person a little bit given the fact that I knew it would make for some good fun. Enjoy the idiocy!

The first email I sent after reading the craigslist add that was vague. All it said was 3br/2b, no other details:


Could you please let me know if this property is still available? If so, please describe in more detail if possible. Central air? Sq feet? Wood floors? Carpet? Layout?

Any pictures you may have of it would be great as well.

This would be for myself and 2 roommates. I am a currency trader, one roommate teaches N.O. Public school, and the 3rd is my cousin who will be starting Tulane Med in August. We don't care much for loudness, so is that a problem in that specific area?

Best,
John Suarez
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The property you inquired about is in the middle of Tulane University, and of course it's loud, just like living in a dorm.

This is a better alternative. Complete new top notch renovation. has everything.

6114 S. Claiborne, 3BR/2BA $1575
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Ok , still unsure about the general setup of the apartment. Any additional details you can add would really help out. It is a great uptown location, no doubt!

Hope to hear from you soon!
John
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you stated in an earlier email.

We don't care much for loudness, so is that a problem in that specific area?

The property you inquired about is in the middle of Tulane University, and of course it's loud, just like living in a dorm.

Therefore I assumed the setup for that property was irrelevant.

The setup for all these apartments is pretty much the same. 3 independent bedrooms, a kitchen, 2 baths, an outside area like porch or balcony, and a living room.
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Setup irrelevant? Sorry, but I didn't realize that people blindly pay $1650/month on something they don't even know about, lol. And if it is just like living in a dorm am I to assume that the faucets run? A constant smell from the bathrooms? Etc?

What kind of place are you running here?

Hopefully we can do business together, but that requires a minimum amount of effort to at least give a decent description of the place. Sq footage, floors, AC/heat setup, and so on.

I assumed you would actually be happy to have some professionals making an inquiry on this apartment instead of some lunatic college students who are going to tear the place apart dorm style. Help us out here and both of us can benefit nicely!

Best
John Suarez
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John,

YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT A LOUD NEIGHBORHOOD.

I HAVE TOLD YOU TWICE THAT THIS IS A LOUD NEIGHBORHOOD..

THEREFORE, THE SET -UP DOESN'T MATTER.
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You obviously are new to this. I said we prefer to be quiet ourselves. But obviously by your response you prefer to have chaos and irresponsible tennets living in your property. Why you would want that is BEYOND my comprehension. Noise is simply a factor. A variable. ONE OF MANY.

So if the place is actually nice enough then it could possibly supercede the importance of that single variable. Maybe now you realize that giving actual details of your property would BENEFIT you and any potential customers.

John

 

No kidding! In fact, if I get one more response from this clown I'll be forced to email him a link to this thread

 

Hey there Glenn, you actually decided to write something to me after ignoring my two PMs to you about your weird comment in my currency trading thread. Good for you!

I have another word for you, "typo."

Wrong. Saying we don't care much for loudness simply implies that we don't get roudy and out of control. This would be a DESIREABLE trait from a tenant, no? Or do you think otherwise...

Also, I explained that noise is only one factor. One of many variables. So for this realtor to blow me off on this one point only shows that the realtor has no confidence in the property, most likely thinks that he knows best, and on and on. Sound familiar to you there bud?

Again, wrong. Now, I could have stated "we implied that we prefer quite" if I were to be more precise. Sure.

Now, your comment makes no sense. Is my statement meant to mean that we would in fact be LOUD? I don't think so.

Yes, yes I did.

What exactly do you mean about 'requires 2 other roommates." I put him down on my own. So please elaborate.

Then you sound just as intelligent as the bloke trying to rent the place.

 

Except that I did not cleary state a requirement. Rather, I simply asked if noise was an issue. It is not a qualifier per se. Doing his job would mean describing the place properly instead of shrugging his shoulders and being a chump about it.

 

I suppose some people don't see the value of humor. It is obvious that it is easy to get under this guy's skin. And for being such an unprofessional guy by purposely being vague, this is what he gets

 

Feel free

If anything, the realtor should try to make a convincing arguement why we should rent from him. He should jump on the opportunity to potentially rent to responsible, clean, tenants. Why would he prefer college students who are much more likely to destroy the place?

This realtor makes no real effort to provide information, which is kindof crucial to the line of work he is in.

 

Nice bait Glenn, but I don't bite.

You can try to think you are correct all you want, but making statements like this doesn't make your words truth.

How does my post say anything about playing some sort of perceived persona? Do tell!
I don't go around making off-base comments and then run away when asked for an explanation. You can't say the same for yourself.

And if you are referring to my currency trading thread, then you are right. How dare I post a lot of information, help out dozens of people here, and keep a running tally of day-to-day trading? I must be such a pompous ****** to do such a thing

 

I didn't get your PM in time!
You are my hero

 

Thanks Mom! But in this case I see it otherwise. I haven't posted any personal information about this person. For all you know I could have made this entire thing up just to mess with Fchat. How dare I post a conversation I have had with someone else! Bad John, bad.

This person doesn't have a clue because he hasn't even asked any questions to get to know what it is I am actually looking for.

Because I did not say that noise was the biggest deal. The comment was made so he understood we were quiet. Also, it gives him an opportunity to describe the block.

Agreed 10,000%

Of course my emails aren't professional, that is why it is funny!