Rocky Mountain Jokes - Mild

Not sure if this thread will get pulled, bbut here goes:

keep them tasteful, and light, and of course good


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Getting Married....

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car!

 

Hahahahahaha, I love it. thats hilarious!

 

WHAT IF DEAR ABBY WAS A MAN!!!






DEAR MR. ABBY

Q: MY HUSBAND WANTS A THREESOME WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND ME. WHAT CAN I DO?

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure, then just perform oral sex on him, and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

DEAR MR. ABBY

Q: MY HUSBAND CONTINUALLY ASKS ME TO PERFORM ORAL SEX ON HIM. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal.

DEAR MR. ABBY

Q: MY HUSBAND HAS TOO MANY NIGHTS OUT WITH THE BOYS. WHAT CAN I DO?

A: This is a perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

DEAR MR. ABBY

Q: MY HUSBAND DOESN'T KNOW WHERE MY CLITORIS IS. WHAT CAN I DO?

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help you. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday present. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

DEAR MR. ABBY

Q: MY HUSBAND IS NOT INTERESTED IN FOREPLAY. WHAT CAN I DO TO ENCOURAGE HIM?

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky request for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal!

DEAR MR. ABBY

Q: MY HUSBAND ALWAYS HAS AN ORGASM THEN ROLLS OVER AND GOES TO SLEEP NEVER GIVING ME ONE. WHAT CAN I DO?

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten how to cook him a nice meal.

 

What happened to the frog that parked in a no parking zone?
He got toad!

A man walks into the bar with a piece of asphalt under his arms and says "I'll have a beer, and one for the road."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve food here!"

2 Peanuts were walking down an alley, one was a-salted.

I'll think of more, if there's anyone still left reading after these.

 

My jokes are in French, do you want to hear them ???
Roland
F40LM

 

Mais oui! I'll translate .

Une femme est approche`par un homme... L'homme dit, ...

 

we all want to read your jokes

 

I could translate them to you in St Louis if you plan to be there..
Roland
F40LM

 

Ohh god.. I will bring all my CDs and crank the tunes in the RIG so I dont have to listen to this

hahah

-a

 

Roland
someone needs to help around the garage, not much action at PPIR, but I did get to wrench my car at the track surrounded by some nice cars!!

I really liked that Dark Grey GT3.
Tell that guy to come with you and John.

What are you doing about your trip to New Orleans?